Family members may think they know everything about you. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Parents especially have an idea of who you are based on their observations of watching you grow up
But just because blood is thicker than water, it doesn't mean they can easily relate to you.
Curious to explore family relationships, Redditor Belle_Artist_Jade asked:
"People of reddit, what is one thing your family will never understand about you?"
Being anti-social with family doesn't necessarily mean there's resentment.
Personal Space
"My desire to be left alone, I love solitude."
– Jimmy_Graphite
Setting Boundaries
"That having boundaries doesn't mean I don't care or love you. They are there for a reason because of how I was treated growing up, but I still want you in my life despite everything. Boundaries are not walls, they are bridges for you to maintain a relationship with me in a way that allows us to respect each other."
– theoriginalsmore
Not Trustworthy
"This is my parents but they assume I'm private and never tell anybody what's going on in my life. Nope, I just figured out around 30 that I can't trust either of you enough to confide in you. One of you is judgy and wants to advise on 'fixing' any problem I mention, no matter how small or unrelated to me, and the other files tidbits away to use against me in arguments in the future. So yeah, it's just you two."
– overcompliKate
Here's A Thought
"I don’t know who said this but it’s on the wall at my therapist’s office: 'Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and myself simultaneously.'”
– TreeOfLight
These Redditors don't have an identity crisis. They just happen to be more comfortable around friends.
Different Personality
"That I'm not always as quiet and boring as I am when I'm around them. It's just that they're so judgy and hateful of everyone and it makes me uncomfortable. So I don't behave the same around them as I do with my friends, etc."
– Anticyclonic_Comrade
Avoiding Conflict
"Same. I’m 17 and they complain that I don’t talk to them anymore. I stopped talking to them because almost every time I do, they start a huge argument for no reason. So I basically just talk about what I have to talk to them about and in the most monotone voice I can."
– theacethree
Highly Suspicious Folks
"That I've literally never done anything that they've accused me of over the years. And now they don't understand why I don't like to be around them. Being the family scapegoat is a pain in the a**. It makes me sad."
– F'k_you_Reddit_Nazi
I'm Not Boring
"I so get you! My family has always been judgmental of my 'introvertedness' to the point that I'm anxious and can't be my normal self around them. This makes me boring in their eyes which makes them judge/lecture me more."
"It's a horrible cycle."
– Confused_Citron
"It Wasn't All Sunshine And Flowers"
"My mom doesn't understand why I'm so different than when I was a child. Why I don't smile so often anymore."
"Well, I stopped hiding my emotions. I don't know how to tell them that no, it wasn't all sunshine and flowers when I was young even if they loved me and raised me well."
"They f'ked up things, and it shaped me. Not always in a good way."
– Kanlhan
Just because they're your parents, it doesn't mean they're always right.
Learning By Example
"That the reason I have found success, both personal and financial, in life is because I watched them for years and do the exact opposite. Bad part is that they seem to reward and normalize bad decisions."
– gimme3strokes
The Successful Sibling
"It's so frustrating being the only sibling to pull themselves out of poverty when your parents are like that, because my parents simultaneously act like they know everything and override advice that I give my siblings, while also telling them to ask me because they haven't touched X in 2 decades.They take pride in the fact that I'm considered successful, but nobody learns from anything that I've done to pull themselves out - instead they spend every dollar that hits their account, burn bridges with their ego, and stay loyal to the wrong people."
– bumblingbirdy
The Passionate Traveler
"Not all of my family do, but some think it’s very weird and a bad thing that I’m prioritizing travel and seeing the world while I’m young(ish). Left the US for the first time at 19, I’m 28 now and have been to 44 countries and 38 US states. I’ve worked my butt off, saved up, then travelled. Have done that 2 times now. Currently working hard again in preparation for my next trip."
"They all tell me to work now and travel when I’m retired. In the year before covid I backpacked asia, rode a motorcycle through 14 European countries, and lived out of a van in New Zealand. I don’t think I’d enjoy those things as much when I’m 65!"
– dr_moonshot
Redditors with medical conditions talk about their frustrations.
Illness
"That I have young onset Parkinson's disease. They don't get that I can't write or balance things. Despite scans and specialists, they think I'm too young (36M). They keep telling me to breathe and it'll all be fixed."
– last_alchemyst
The Ringing
"Kinda depressing, but just how painful the ringing in my ears are."
– Gamma_Burst1298
Sonic Assault
"That I don't always want to wear my hearing aids. It's exhausting to constantly hear sounds you normally never hear/understand."
– Ok-World-4822
Parents may think they got you pegged, when in fact, there's a lot they can learn about you.
And that depends on how much you want to open up to them and if they're subsequently willing to understand you on a deeper level.
This also makes me wonder–are there things about your family you just never understood? And are you willing to bridge that gap?
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