Parents are supposed to have our best interests at heart but that is definitely not always the case. From poison ivy sandwiches and forced play dates, to ignoring allergies and forcing kids to watch loved ones suffer, some parents really get it wrong.
burneraccount1000000 asked: What was the genuinely worst experience that you were ever forced into by parents or friends?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
WTAF?!
Giphy
My mother would read Rodale Press organic living type magazines in the 1960's. And decided that she would try to make her children immune to poison ivy. This involves having us eat poison ivy sandwiches.
"Don't chew it, just swallow."
My 5 year old sister almost died from a swollen throat. Hospital, shots, IV's. The doctor was aghast that anyone could be that insane. Dad was so angry he could not speak.
My older sister and I are still allergic to poison ivy.
I'm glad your sister survived, what a nightmare... Did one of the magazines suggest this idea or was it your own mother's invention?
Magazine article. This sort of bullsh*t was not invented by the new agey yoga moms of the 21st century.
When kids are forced to be friends with you and vice versa.
My mom was more insecure about me not having friends than I was myself. If I didn't have playdate lined up each weekend, she would force me to call kids in my class who I didn't get along with and 9/10 they'd say they were busy. Some would even confront me at school on Monday and say "Why the hell did you call me?"
Being forced into social situations never turn out good.
I was friends with a girl throughout middle and high school whose crazy mother made her "Friend Business Cards" and made her pass them out in 8th grade.
I guess she was struggling to make friends and the business cards had her phone number and a little bio on them. She passed them out because her mom would count them to make sure she gave some away. You could tell she was humiliated to do it.
My stepmother became friends with her mother through church and tried to start the same sh*t. I was new at the school and the first friend I made, my stepmom immediately got on Facebook, found out the girl lived with her grandmother and started asking her unprompted personal questions about my friend, including sh!t like asking why her parents weren't in the picture. I hadn't even added the girl yet and my stepmom Facebook stalked her and harassed her grandmother.
The next day the girl told me I was weird and I got angry at my stepmom who got angry at the grandmother because, "What senior aged adult tells their 8th grade granddaughter about their adult conversations?"
I don't know, probably one that doesn't want her grandchild hanging out with a kid whose parent is a f*cking creep?
Kitties are smart and snakes are awesome.
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Parents wanted me to get over my fear of snakes so they made me hold a giant python at an interactive aquatic show in Silver Springs, Florida. Nightmares!
As an adult, my cat Pinky would bring me live garden snakes and gently put them in my hand. That worked.
My husband (boyfriend at the time) thought he could get me over my fear of heights by taking me to a heights themed amusement park. I handled the first ride with only moderate shakes/sweats.
But then I got stuck at the top of a child's rock wall shaking and crying. The seventeen year old park attendant had to climb up and yank me off the wall, the whole time apologizing "I'm so sorry ma'am but it's policy I have to pull you down" (MA'AM. This was recent. I was 29. I still am 29).
He finally understood what I meant when I said "I'm afraid of heights."
Watching a loved one not be allowed to die with dignity.
My grandmother died over the course of a single summer of cancer. By the time the end came it was in her lungs, bones and brain. She was completely bald and was legitimately nothing but skin and bones. She weighed 80 lbs. She was also nearly paralyzed by the pain her body was in and couldn't move on her own. Since there was nothing that could be done for her but keep her on pain-killers, a bed was put in my grandparents living room. Since the cancer was in her brain she gradually lost the ability to effectively communicate and would scream and cry like a newborn when she needing something. Sometimes, she would forget who she was and where she was and she would just scream incoherently because she was scared.
My mother and aunts volunteered to try and care for her as best they could. Instead of finding someone else to watch me over the summer, I spent every day, all day in the living room watching my grandmother die and turn into a shell of a human being. She didn't know who we were most of the time and she started calling me 'the one that wouldn't shut up' whenever she was cognitive enough to speak. I was there when she breathed her last breath at 2 am in the morning and when the funeral director rolled up to take her body out of the house. I was 7. I'd even go so far as to say I am traumatized by that entire experience. Every time I mention that to my parents I get shrugged off. It's one of the reasons I personally agree with physician assisted death - I never want my family to witness me go out like that. That was the worst experience my family ever forced me to endure.
Man, I recently went to visit my grandmother who was a couple days away from dying and was in not much of a better state than what you described. I walked into the room and was so shocked that my heart skipped a beat. I've never seen a person in that kind of condition and it was so difficult to look at her. I turned right around and told my teenage daughter to wait in the other room while I said goodbye to grandma. I didn't want her to see. It was extremely difficult for me to see her like that and I didn't want my daughter having that image in her mind. I can't imagine making my seven year old experience that day after day.
Euthanasia is humane. F*ck anybody who disagrees with me on that one.
Bro, nice.
Giphy
I am terrified of heights. I can't hardly get up on a chair to change a light without shaking. When I was maybe 10 my friend invited me to 6 flags, which if you haven't heard of it is mostly roller coasters.
I declined but my friend was being taken by her dad who insisted she take a friend and wouldn't take no for an answer. Her parents were divorced and her dad was ultra wealthy so he was one of those "I'll buy my kids from that b!tch of an ex wife" kinda parents.
After a few hours of them going on rides together I guess the dad got fed up that I wasn't having a good time (I never said that) because I wouldn't ride the rides so he forces me into line for some unreasonable roller coaster, where your feet dangle and you flip upside down and all that. And I'm trying to tell him no I don't want to but he just ignores me.
After a while I broke down and just started to cry because I was so scared and upset. I kept yelling I don't wanna go, please don't make me go and he was indifferent to my pleas. Luckily some probably seriously underpaid teenage line attendant in an orange vest stood me against the "you must be this tall to ride" board and decided I was too short. I was tall enough, but the guy knew I was freaking out and did me a solid. Threatened to remove all 3 of us from the park if he didn't leave.
Tldr; friends dad tried to force me on a roller coaster and I cried because I was so scared, so the ride attendant refused to let me on.
Roller coaster attendant was a bro.
Kids are not free labor.
Mom made me hang out with her friends kid that was autistic to hell and back. She said that she would babysit him while her friend went to work, but my mom would just make me watch him. I had to change and feed him even though he was an extremely picky eater, I was 10 and he was 14. She would yell at me if he made a mess or had a meltdown, like I could control it. She was paid $250 a week and I didn't get sh*t but head aches and bruises.
Don't feel bad if you eventually put her in an elderly care home and then can't visit for whatever reason. Sounds like she's cool with outsourcing the care of loved ones.
WTF?
Well, not me, but my sister. Our parents were getting divorced, and we were over at his place for visitation on Sunday. After we went to church, we went and bought what we thought was a chocolate cake. Now, my little sister has a severe, life threatening peanut allergy. After a few bites of the cake, she said that her throat was itching/swelling. My brother and I immediately told her to stop eating it, but my Dad ACTIVELY ENCOURAGED her to continue eating it. After we had finally convinced her to stop, she should have been taken to the ER immediately. Instead, he gives her Benadryl, and makes her wait for a good 10-15 minutes.
All while she is swelling and itching, and its getting harder to breathe. He finally takes her to the hospital after she throws up (which is a sign of internal swelling,? I think) She almost died, and my Mom was so mad when she came to the hospital. All I remember about that car ride to the hospital was thinking that my little sister was going to die, and basically watching her suffocate in front of me. He also did something similar to my brother, but it wasn't life threatening.
What is it with parents in this thread forcing their kids to eat things that'll kill them? How could anyone think that this kind of ghetto desensibilization with no medical supervision is a good idea?
So much for "Dr. Mom."
Giphy
Mother acted out her resentment at Dad's allergies by exposing me to all of his allergens after they split up. When I complained about symptoms similar to what he had been going to an allergist to treat, she bellowed You don't have any allergies! I couldn't really protest more because she had never taken me to a doctor to get tested.
Fast forward: the separation turned into divorce, I moved in with Dad, finally got medical treatment and (no surprise) needed prescription medication and allergy shots. Then in my late teens the allergies turn life threatening. I'm stuck for life on a restricted diet because there's no clinical research for treatment of these specific allergies.
There's no way to prove direct cause and effect, but allergies are known to worsen with repeated uncontrolled exposures so it's definitely possible that Mom's decisions are why things got this bad. Incidentally she used to slip allergens into Dad's stuff without his knowledge behind his back and I'm 99% sure she did the same to me whenever I visited her even after Dad got me proper medical treatment. It's an ugly rabbit hole what motivates her to do that, but the bottom line is she can't be trusted. It's one of the reasons I stopped talking to her. If there's a silver lining, it's the experience taught me to stand up for myself whenever ignorant people try to second guess properly trained doctors.
Damn, what are you allergic to to be on a restricted diet for the rest of your life?
I have anaphylactic Oral Allergy Syndrome. It's a rare life threatening manifestation of a type of allergy that's mild in most cases. It's as serious as a peanut allergy except in my case it's caused by a wide variety of fresh fruit.
This isn't covered under federal food labeling law and the FDA chooses not to regulate it (they could require specifying my allergens by name in the fine print but they've chosen not to). So any food that reads natural flavors or natural colorson the label could contain my allergens and cause a medical emergency. My allergens aren't covered in food service allergy safety training either. So I have to make nearly everything I eat from scratch and at home.
It's been a real problem when I check into hospitals for unrelated reasons (sports injury etc.) because this diagnosis isn't taught outside of medical schools: the M.D.s recognize the diganosis and write up appropriate orders, which the kitchen staff and the nurses ignore because their training doesn't cover this and they mistake me for a picky eater. It's resulted in close calls after major surgery when they roll in an off-limits meal while I'm recovering from anesthesia and on morphine.
When you're constantly forced to babysit.
Honestly, it was a series of things my parents did. Any time we went to a function or party I was stuck babysitting not only my little sister but all of my parents' friend group's kids. If I took my eye off them to do something boom pressure point and talk about being responsible. This happened for literally every party they dragged me too. I hate going to parties when small children are there because it feels like I have to always keep an eye on them or else.
This is even more awful, when there is gender stereotyping going on. Like you are the oldest girl cousin, and so you have to watch all the younger ones while the male cousins older than you can enjoy the party.
What a waste of time.
It would have to be the three day 8 hour long church convention while wearing a suit....thankfully my parents soon gave up on trying to make me a Jehovah's Witness.
Yeah... those were very tiring. All the same information every day, every year. I eventually stopped going.
Oh geez, the three day circuit assemblies. I remember these. So painfully boring... sitting there taking notes and pretending like I wasn't dat dreaming like all the other thousands of people.
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