She's beautiful.

I was going to say "The ceramic blue bird statue that I found next to a dumpster" but then I remembered that I bought an antique brass birdcage to put said statue in. It doesn't do anything besides hold my garbage bird and a succulent.

So, I guess my answer is "The antique brass birdcage for my garbage bird statue."

EDIT: A picture of my garbage bird in his home https://imgur.com/a/ceiBsav

Reil

Who doesn't need an HP laptop?

I've never got rid of a broken laptop. Over the past decade or so I've managed to rack up five of them that I've somehow convinced I'll one day do something with, as if anyone's just waiting for me to show up with a 2008 HP with a broken keyboard and a wobbly power socket.

I moved house earlier in the year and, rather than doing the sensible adult thing and taking the opportunity to throw them out, I brought the f*ckers with me.

Portarossa

Hairless.

A comb. I'm hairless.

wolfshark10

'Hairless' is such a funny way to describe a bald person for some reason. My first thought was like a human version of those hairless cats.

iikratka

Comfort obstacles.

Six or seven pillows that live on my couch. If I want to sit, or lay down, the first thing I have to do is move a bunch of pillows so I can relax in comfort.

Where do I put them? Do I have to put them back when I'm done? How much was spent on these comfort obstacles? Son of a.

Pac_Eddy

Didgeridoo, or didgeridon't?

A large didgeridoo made out of tree limb, that I bought when I was in Australia and had shipped back to the US. I cannot play it, and it just sits there.

EDIT: This is it.

Dahhhkness

How can you not play it?

amym2001

He didgeridon't know how.

ElectronNinja

The harsh truth.

I spent a f*cking sh*t load of money on getting 2 separate Master's degrees. So them equally.

Swan_Ronson_2018

naturalkolbear

To quote my professor, "If you do not end up working in a completely unrelated field 10 years down the line, what was even the purpose of your Masters Degree?"

doorbellguy

Those things are the best.

A breadmaker.

"Yes! I will set it up the night before so I get fresh bread every morning!"

It lasted a week before I went back to making bread the way my Grandma taught me.

Now I've lost a few of its bits, and the only time I've touched it in 10 years was when we moved house, and it moved from the top shelf of one pantry to another.

FormalMango

Was it signed by Randy Jackson though?

A broad sword and shield.

I'm not a re-enactor, these aren't hanging on my wall... not sure why I still keep them in the garage.

atticuslodius

"In case of sudden Viking incursion, open garage."

Malthus1

Are Millennials are killing the textbook industry?

My old college textbooks.

The resale value on them was so poor (thanks to ridiculous new editions coming out each semester rendering these books useless for future students), that I figured it would be better to keep the texts as resources down the road.

Then the internet erupted and now all that information (and way more) is available at the click of a mouse.

kukukele

Um, what?

I own a useless box.

The one with the switch that causes one side to open and a small metal arm to pop out and turn its self off.

I f*cking love it.

Mr_Mori