There has been a lot of buzz around relationships between married women, mothers, and single women lately, and specifically how single women are treated. Now fuel is being added to the fire in how single women are portrayed, specifically that they must be on vacation full-time.
That's because mom and TikToker Danielle Ekwerekwu really thought she was onto something when she pointed out that childfree people not only have more free time than parents do, but that they are essentially on vacation full-time while parents are making sacrifices.
Perhaps Ekwerekwu was trying to be helpful, trying to inspire people to enjoy their lives without dependents needing them while they can, but her phrasing was questionable, arguing that childfree people are blind to how easy they have it.
While Ekwerekwu eventually deleted her TikTok video after pushback, it was later shared on YouTube, along with several responses:
- YouTube youtu.be
Ekwereku's take was not received well on TikTok, and not only did her comments section fill with comments either arguing with her, criticizing her, or mocking her with all of their "free time," but dozens of videos were created, stitching the most hot-button moments from her video with their responses.
TikToker @baldandbougiegem responded, pointing out specifically that it was problematic how parents often put themselves on this pedestal of being busy, raising kids, and leading sacrificial lives that put their children first.
In reality, though, parents chose this life, and when they sound as bitter and tired as TikToker @danni_ek did about the whole thing, some onlookers cannot help but wonder if she chose the wrong life for herself.
You can watch TikToker @baldandbougiegem's video here.
Fellow TikTokers agreed with @baldandbougiegem, seeing the original video as questionable at best.
@baldandbougiegem/TikTok
@baldandbougiegem/TikTok
@baldandbougiegem/TikTok
TikToker @carefreemaroon1 largely agreed with these sentiments but also perfectly pointed out that just because a person may not have children does not inherently make their lives easy.
She uses herself as an example, pointing out that she's had her problems and struggles in life that she's had to face, that she's done the best that she can with what's available to her, and while that might be without children, that didn't make what she had done any less difficult or valuable.
You can watch TikToker @carefreemaroon1's TikTok video here:
Finally, TikToker @meredithmlynch agreed with the notes given by the previous two TikTokers, but she added two important notes about entitlement and rage bait.
One key issue she saw with how @danni_ek lensed her argument was the fact that there are people out there who want to be parents who either cannot get pregnant or who cannot afford other methods like therapies or adoption or even larger homes to accommodate foster children, so there are absolutely people out there who would gladly trade their "free time" for the "burden" and "stress" of raising children.
She also called @danni_ek out, while smiling knowingly, for the possibility of all of this being rage bait the entire time. This is a hot button topic for sure, and it's sure to draw attention, clicks, and views, and it will increase her follower count, whether or not they are the type of followers she actually wants to have on her platform with her.
Fellow TikTokers wholeheartedly agreed with @carefreemaroon1 and shared their own struggles.
@carefreemaroon1/TikTok
@carefreemaroon1/TikTok
@carefreemaroon1/TikTok
@carefreemaroon1/TikTok
You can watch TikToker @meredithmlynch's TikTok video here:
Fellow TikTokers shared heartbreaking stories with @meredithmlynch about wishing they could have children.
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
Some also pointed out the lack of "vacation time" they were getting as childfree adults.
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
@meredithmlynch/TikTok
At the end of the day, some people naturally have a little bit easier life than others, they'll experience more smooth-sailing days than others might, and they might have some privilege points that other people don't get to cash in. However, that does not make their life a permanent vacation or 100 percent stress-free.
It's time to stop shaming people for having children or not having children, for having an "easier time" by not raising dependents, and for occasionally complaining about how tired and stressed they are, even though they "signed up for this life." Every kind of life is going to have its good days and its tough days, and the best thing any of us can do is show each other a little bit of understanding and a little bit of grace.
