People Break Down The Weirdest Reasons They've Been Stopped By The TSA

Most of the time, the agents are doing their best job to figure out what's on your body with a machine that may not be accurate 100% of the time.

It Already Has A Name

"Crotch anomaly".

"I was wearing normal joggers, nothing in my pockets."

"The lady behind me loudly said 'yeah it's called a penis'"- wot_in_ternation

Packing A Different Kind Of Heat

"TSA agent asked to search me with the back of his hand and I said 'okay sure'.”

"The back of his hand hit my unit and he said 'what’s that?' to which my only response was 'That’d be my penis.'”

"The TSA woman next to him started laughing at him and his face went pale before he said 'you’re clear, move along.'"- DarkSlayerKi

Keyword: "Random"

"I have maintained a decent beard and have a darker skin complexion for a white dude."

"I am 'randomly' selected for a search or shoe swab every single time I fly."= batkevn

You can assume a lot of these are simple misunderstandings, agents doing their best to make sure everyone gets on the plane safely.

Still, it's got to feel bad to open up a loved one's ashes in a public setting.

Mad Respect For Your Wardrobe

"Not in the USA but in France, I got stopped on the way through customs by an agent who said something fast and aggressive-sounding in French."

"My French isn't great, so I just looked puzzled and said I didn't understand."

"The guy quickly beckoned another guy over and explained to him in rapid-fire French what was going on."

"The second guy turned to me and said 'He says your T-shirt is really cool and can you tell him where you got it?'"

" It was a Star Wars T-shirt that I got as a birthday present, so I couldn't even tell him where it came from."

"Luckily, he didn't arrest me."- 99thLuftballon

Sinister Teddy

"My niece has a teddy bear."

"She has had this teddy bear essentially since she was born."

"The doggo has bitten a hole into its belly, so we sew onto it like a lion head sticker, to keep its guts inside."

"One time we were on holiday visiting family, and she left it there, luckily I was staying a bit longer so I could grab it on my way back."

"An adult man with a teddy bear that had its guts torn open and fixed with a lion bandaid apparently looks pretty suspicious, so they shoved the poor guy into x-ray 3-4 times."

"She is still in ownership of the teddy bear and it is still in decent shape."- Gacsam

It's A Weapon For A Certain Type Of Person...

"I had a nutcracker in my carry-on."

"Like a legit, festive Christmas soldier nutcracker."

"It was a gift for my mom's birthday, she collects them."

"I was only flying in for 2 days for my grandmas funeral so didn't check any luggage."

"They stopped me and questioned me for 30 minutes."

"Kept insinuating I was going to use it as a weapon."= Pamplem0usse__

Spider Truck. Spider Truck. Does Whatever A...

"When the Andrew Garfield Spiderman's first came out they did some amazing merch for them."

"My Stepdad is a HUGE Spidey fan, so I picked him up the corniest Spiderman film merch when in the US, one of those being like a whirling cement truck thing?"

"It was a big tonka sized thing and the only bag it would fit in was my carry-on."

"They stopped me and said 'Is that a spiderman toy?' and I took it out and showed them."

"They said it was the best thing they'd seen all day."- CharacterSuccotash5

No Smuggling Of Animals

"Glass jellyfish"

"Like those blown glass ones that are super cool at art galleries."

"I got pulled aside into a small room because they thought I was smuggling sea life. Was an interesting time."- Aelsar

When Things Look Like Other Things

"One time my dad had a few rocks of petrified wood in a bag, and had his phone charger right next to it."

"They almost went DEFCON 1 and did radio people to show up and act if it went down."

"But they opened the bag and saw it was rocks and a charger."

"They told him that it looked absolutely identical to what they had been taught a bomb looked like."- AudiieVerbum

One Last Look For Ol' Mom

"My mom passed away unexpectedly in California."

"I flew out to pick up her ashes and there was a terror alert at LAX."

"It was unreal; the military was in the airport with what looked like machine guns."

"I was out of my mind with grief and drugged to the gills."

"I was dealing with a bad back, and had to fly from California to a small town in Virginia for the memorial service."

"Security was heightened and everyone was being searched."

"I only had a small carry on and my mom’s ashes."

"When I got to the TSA, the agent wanted me to open my mother’s box of ashes! "

"I refused and insisted they x ray the box instead."

"It showed nothing inside ( duh- ashes) which convinced the TSA agent that it had some sort of cloaking device and was hiding a bomb."

"Again he insisted that I open the box that held my mom’s ashes."

"I was beginning to lose my sh-t."

"I called my husband who works in nuclear power and explained what was going on."

"He told me to tell the TSA agent to place a coin under the box and send it through the X-ray again."

"He did and thank goodness he saw the coin."

"Otherwise I would have been arrested for assaulting a stupid TSA agent."- Due_Judgment_9518

Agents Put Up With All Sort Of Sh*t...

"Previous TSA Agent here - not a passenger."

"This happened on like my 2nd day of training in baggage."

"A bag went off & I had to clear it."

"The owner, a gay gentleman, stood directly across from me, glaring thru my soul."

"I opened the bag & the very first thing in it was a plastic 'laundry bag' from a hotel."

"So I squished that bag, as we were supposed to do, and looked over at my trainer with this look on my face."

"He was confused & I just kinda shook my head like 'please don't make me do this'."

"The passenger had a smirk on his face at this point."

"Of course, I HAD to take it out of the bag."

"It was a dildo COVERED IN sh*it & they'd JUST used it before heading to the airport & didn't bother to clean it off!"

"I whipped it out so everyone saw, my trainer was hiding behind the x-ray ROLLING laughing, & I had to swab it to test it for explosives."

"Of course it cleared, so I put it back in the bag & the guy's boyfriend was standing by him at this point."

"Passenger says to me (all pissy) 'Happy now? Did you see what you wanted to?'"

"The bf is also rolling at this point."

"I just put the bag on the floor, scanned it thru the x-ray again & dropped it on the conveyor to go downstairs to cargo."

"My trainer was like OMFGGGGG...I SWEAR that NOTHING like that has ever happened before!"

"Of course the story spread quickly to everyone else & for a while, til people knew me/my name better, I was "THAT girl"- HalloweenFreak260

You Never Know When You'll Have The Craving...

"Not me, but my friend went on a family vacation."

'Her dad’s carry on gets flagged and TSA starts freaking out calling back up, and ask him to come over to them."

"As he walks by my friend he just says 'oh no, it’s the jerky'."

'This man brought 14 PACKS of jerky in his carry on for each day of the trip and TSA thought it was sticks of dynamite, and then had a good laugh at the suitcase full of beef jerky."- raccoonslikecheese

Don't Be Fooled By Their Sweetness

"M&M’s"

"They thought I was smuggling drugs."- hchristian13

Double Check What Counts As A Liquid...

"Not necessarily weird but Peanut Butter."

"We were going to Disney and we brought groceries to make sandwiches and they took it away."

"I wouldn't have considered peanut butter a liquid but I guess so."- PrincessLuma

Double The Trouble

"I have two stories."

"We were flying to the Caribbean for my aunt’s wedding and everyone got through alright except my uncle."

"He kept setting the machine off no matter what he did."

"He had taken out all of the change in his pockets, his belt off, his jewelry etc., and it still went off."

"I want to point out this was not long after 9/11 so security was a bit different to what it was when he last had flown."

"So when the metal handle thingy scanned him and it went off on his hip the TSA asked 'are you made of mental sir?'"

"In a surprised voice then my uncle just responded 'oh sh*t sorry mate, I didn’t know it would detect my metal hip joint!'"

"They had a laugh about it to each other and he was let through."

"Second story."

"I was coming back from Germany and the day before somehow I have come down with a severe throat infection."

" I lost my voice and could barely speak."

"The TSA were asking me all these questions and honestly it was pretty awkward because they couldn’t hear me despite how hard I tried, they took it well and asked if I was okay."- After-Land1179

Let's Not Forget, They Do Have A Job To Do...

"I had injured my ankle so had it wrapped in some of that adhesive wrap tape, with a sock and shoe over it."

"Bomb dog alerted on the bandage."

"The TSA agents were extremely nice, got me a chair I could sit in since I was limping and we had a great talk about books while they were doing the routine check of my bags etc."

"They were extremely baffled and couldn't figure out why the dog alerted, so brought it back over to see exactly where it alerted."

"Once they figured it out we all had a good laugh and they made sure I made it safely to my gate."- WanderingWordsmith19

Talk About Bad Hair Day

"My hair."

"Every time I fly out of Logan in Boston."

"They pull me aside and pat down my hair."

"I finally got a black lady that told me that it's the thread in weaves and wigs."

"Sometimes they use something similar to thin monofilament wire."

"It doesn't always show up so they check to make sure it's just a weave that doesn't double as a bomb I guess?"- bballpixie

Ever been stopped by the TSA for something silly? Tell us about it in the comments.