Gynecologists Are Weighing In With Hilarious Warnings Due To Overwhelming 'Wicker' Thirst

Wicker has been in theaters for a couple of weeks now and it's causing quite a stir. The quirky romantic fantasy stars Alexander Skarsgård as a man made entirely from wicker and Olivia Colman as the lonely fisherwoman who grows so tired of her town's ridicule that she commissions the local basketmaker (Peter Dinklage) to weave her a husband.

Despite the film's romantic subtext and its pushback against social norms, much of the online chatter has focused on the more intimate moments. And people are wondering how complete Skarsgård's costume was, particularly the appendage that made those sexy scenes memorable.

It probably doesn't help that the actor stood next to a cardboard cutout displayed at a movie theater, demonstrating that it was true to size.

Because viewers have been so entertained by the intimate Wicker scenes, some natural questions have come out of the woodwork, like what would happen to a woman if she actually partook in these activities.

Publications like Vulture, Out, and New York Post have spoken with actual gynecologists to explore the practicalities of the film's sex scenes. Not surprisingly, the experts warn against viewing them as anything other than a fun fantasy.

Carly Stern, the wellness editor for New York Post, chimed in after speaking to a gynecologist in response to seeing jokes about people eyeing wicker furniture, as well as wicker and wooden decor that might be...repurposed.

Viewers willing to suspend their disbelief enough to imagine that a man made of wicker could have feelings, conscious thought, and mobility might be forgiven for assuming that the fisherwoman would not get splinters from being intimate with her wicker husband.

In real life, however, splintering would be likely, and wood products tend to either carry or support the growth of living organisms, making infection, illness, and death a distinct possibility.

You can watch Stern's reporting here:

Now that the warnings are out there, some people are still joking about the possibilities.

Wicker was written and directed by Eleanor Wilson and Alex Huston Fischer, who adapted it from the short story "The Wicker Husband" by Ursula Wills-Jones.

It's a delightful story. But some things should stay a fantasy.