Sometimes relationships get a violent shove in one direction; but not always for the worse. Sure, people cheat and lie, but they also offer comfort and compassion. Many factors can affect how a partnership evolves - addiction, trauma, or simply a change of heart.
bejeweledbanana asked: What was the tipping point of your last relationship?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
When therapy fails, it's over.
Things had been going downhill for a long time, and we ended up in marriage counseling, which was actually what did us in. Sitting in a room with her refusing to listen to me and her own counselor about things going on in our relationship really clued me in to fact that things weren't going to get better.
Our marriage counselor solidified it for me too. I had moved out after years of begging him to quit drinking because it made him abusive. I told her how he was manipulative and verbally/emotionally abusive and how I feared it was going to escalate into violence. She sided with him. What did I do to put him there? What can I do to make him happy? Have I done all I could to keep him from drinking? Said I had to move back into that house in order for her to help us. I told her I will never go back to that abusive environment and to try to make me move back there is unethical in my eyes.
Do you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell that this thing ain't workin'?
He told me his ex was the only person he'd miss WWE Monday Night Raw for.
Damn, he doesn't even have that good of taste in wrestling. Smackdown has been consistently better for a good while, not to mention NXT or other promotions.
Yeah, I would also leave someone if I found out they were super into professional "wrestling."
Cheating is cheating -__-
When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students. Interestingly, I couldn't use adultery in the divorce as UK law doesn't recognise same-sex encounters for heterosexual couples as adulterous.
In Washington state, you can't use any reason for divorce. We have a no fault state, so it doesn't matter what your spouse does. I learned this when my ex started having an affair and would abandon the family for weeks at a time, and she's still entitled to half of everything.
Washington has some insane laws. I had a friend who lives up there who got arrested for domestic violence, arrested, charged and put on formal probation all because the neighbors heard him yelling at his wife.... She just admitted to cheating on him and he was pissed. He didn't lay a hand on her (he has some disease that makes him incredibly weak, if he threw a punch, he'd fall over) The cops asked the neighbors who they heard yelling and the both said "him". That was apparently all they needed. Almost ruined his career and he had to pay thousands in legal fees. Luckily they owned a home in California and still had all of their vehicles and stuff registered there because he was just up there working on a contract, so he filed for divorce in California.
Why Minnesota though?
He told me he had to go to Minnesota for a couple months on business but actually bought a house there and was planning on tricking me into moving there with him.
Wait what? How did he think he could trick you? Either the move in is planned or its kidnapping...
He flew me out to visit a couple weeks after he left and took me to do all the fun things... He pointed out all of the great job opportunities in the area, and the great schools for kids. A few more weeks and I visit him again and it's the same thing, but he's lined up an interview for me at a brewery he knows I like this time, and tells me he thinks we should move there. I told him there was zero chance of me moving to Minnesota and he freaked out and told me he already bought us a house.
Good job getting away.
He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: "if you ever leave me, I'm gonna make your life a f*cking hell."
Guess I belonged far far away from him.
As to whether he actually fulfilled his promise: the break up was ugly (as expected) and painful (we did love each other at some point), but it was the right thing to do, as I was unhappy and could not see a future together. During the break up he changed from begging me to stay to calling me every name in the book, threatening suicide etc. And in the year after he continued to write emails from different Email accounts he created (even under MY name!? That was fucking weird...) to stay true to his words. I didn't read most of them and at some point he stopped. My life after the break up was beautiful, tough, like a huge burden had lifted. So i guess... no, but he tried.
Gurl.
She wouldn't stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.
Sounds to me like he never stopped being her boyfriend, at least in practice.
Betcha weren't expecting this.
When she drove 4 hours to meet me at the hospital where my mom was dying. We had not been together for long but she comforted me in such a way that i could never forget. I knew I loved her and I married her 1 year later.
YES A GOOD TIPPING POINT
I read so many negative posts before this one I had to reread the title to understand that this is still a tipping point in your relationship, just positive.
Addiction is an ugly menace.
His crack addiction reared its ugly head - after he was clean for more than a year.
crack addiction
If anything says "take potshots over your shoulder while you fly away at mach 4," it's this.
So true.
I supported him through it the first time around but wasn't about to do it again.
Took me a long to realize that you can "help" someone 'til you're blue in the face, but if they'll never change unless they're ready to do it for themselves.
I wish him well and have zero hard feelings, but finding out he was back to old habits was MY rock bottom.
Sober clarity is what it is.
When she finally started to sober up from the years' worth of prescription meds and immediately said "I don't want to be married anymore."
It's been requested that ages be given to provide some context.
In my case, the divorce was about 10 years ago.
We married at 25, divorced at 29.
(We had about six good months between the wedding and her ailments presenting. Two years of ever-more-potent prescription medication. A brief period of sobering up, then close to two years of separation leading to the divorce).
"OMG I hate drama." Yet...
She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with them to go into work. My friends told me that wasn't true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.
Ah, and I bet she hated drama. Like, a lot.
Haha, that's what she said but there was always drama in her life.
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