Keeping with the April Fools' Day spirit, late-night host Stephen Colbert pranked his audience, offering high praise after President Donald Trump's speech to the nation on Wednesday night.
Trump claimed “core strategic objectives are nearing completion” in the Iran war and vowed to strike Iran "extremely hard" over the next two to three weeks. He said that he would finish the job "very fast," without setting any timeline for ending the war. He pledged to "bring them [Iranians] back to the Stone Ages, where they belong.”
Opening his show, Colbert said:
“Folks, it was a big night on all the broadcast networks. Donald Trump at 9 o’clock gave a national prime time address. It was concise, intelligent, and brought the nation together with shared purpose.”
As the audience laughed awkwardly, Colbert confessed:
"April Fools!"
Colbert noted Trump "gave his speech the first night of Passover," adding:
"So, whether you're Jewish or not, I recommend having had four glasses of wine."
He had not yet watched the speech, noting that The Late Show tapes too early for him to have seen it. He joked that he also avoided it by “putting lamb’s blood around my TV so the speech would pass me by.”
Colbert added that the administration had promised “an important update on Iran,” before launching into an impression of Trump:
"My fellow Americans, we are ending our war in Iran. Let me back up. We’re doing a war in Iran. I forget why. Is it part of Venezuela?”
After explaining that a source said Trump flip-flops his stances on purpose, he joked:
"Yes, it’s cunning! No one knows what Donald Trump is thinking. Not even Donald Trump. Think about it. Follow me down the rabbit hole here: Because if he knew what he was thinking he might let it slip."
"That’s why he keeps his mind perfectly blank. Like nature’s most cunning opponent, the goldfish.”
You can hear what he said in the video below.
People loved it.
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Iranian officials warned that the U.S. and Israel could face “crushing, broader and more destructive” attacks following Trump’s address.
Ebrahim Zolfaqari, spokesperson for the Iranian military, said they "must pay the price for the aggression you initiated to the honorable, dear, and Muslim nation," claiming they "know nothing about our very extensive and strategic capacities." He pledged the war "will continue" until the "permanent regret and surrender" of Iran's adversaries.
The war has no end in the sight, no matter what Trump—who loves to give "two week" timelines—says.
