Reddit user cuddlethrowawayy found himself in an awkward situation recently when his in-laws and wife chastised him for cuddling with his 15-year-old daughter while the family watched a movie.
On the famous subreddit "Am I The A**hole?" he told the entire story in a viral post entitled "AITA for telling my wife and in-laws to f*** off after they told me to stop cuddling my daughter?
"I have 3 kids, 15F, 12F and 7M. My oldest has always been a cuddler, and that suits me fine because I am too. Recently my in laws were over, and we were all watching a movie together. It was a kids movie, and so my 15yo was bored out of her mind and tired, so she started to snuggle up to me and go to sleep."
Cuddlethrowawayy thought it was a perfectly normal evening but apparently his in-laws thought otherwise.
"After the movie was over, we sent all the kids to bed/their rooms and got chatting for a bit longer. There was a fair bit of wine involved (I was sober though), and eventually after a short silence my FIL (father-in-law) let it drop that he thought it was inappropriate I still cuddled with my 15yo."
"I don't really know why he brought it up suddenly, but I was prepared to laugh it off and just assumed it was the alcohol. To my surprise, my wife and MIL (mother-in-law) both agreed with him."
He reacted a little bit angrily.
"I have a lot of respect for my in-laws, I get along with them great and I consider them closer than my own parents. Obviously I'm quite fond of my wife as well, but I outright told them to 'f*** off and go f*** themselves' and then left them and went to bed. I've never spoken to any of them like that before, but it felt like the right thing to say in the moment."
"They all want me to apologize for being so rude to them. AITA?"
Cuddlethrowaway also circled back to make a few clarifications:
"Edit due to info request: We were not spooning, she was sitting next to me laying on my chest.
Edit of my own free will: Idk if it's important info, but I didn't yell."
"Edit: I think I've read most everything now, thanks for all the messages of support and hate, I liked them all. Some people asked me to make an update post, I don't think I will, sorry. I've been speaking to them over the past few days and I know why they said what they said (although it's not relevant to me telling them to f*** off), but it's pretty personal and I don't feel like sharing. I wont be apologizing to any of them, especially now that I know their reasoning. I love my wife, but it hurts that she doesn't trust me."
cyfermax thinks Dads cuddling their kids is perfectly normal.
"NTA. The implications of what they're suggesting are horrendous."
"You cuddle your damn kid. It's lovely that she feels so comfortable with you. They're projecting their own disgusting thoughts and it's bulls***."
"You shouldn't be apologising to them, they should be apologising to you for the implication."
bigdave41 knows how they would handle the situation.
"I feel like this is the ideal situation to play dumb and go 'why would that be inappropriate?' to make them spell out literally what they're implying and realise how disgusting THEY are being and question why their mind goes straight to that place."
"I second this advice. This tactic works in so many situations. It was my trump card at work when customers said some borderline racist or sexist or homophobic shit. Making people expand on the weird and rude and ignorant stuff they say, whether intentionally obscene or not, typically does a perfect job in showing them exactly why it was a shitty comment."
Trania86 has experienced this from the other side.
"I once hugged my father in public and he was worried people might get the wrong idea. He's 40 years older than me. I told him that if people thought something weird that was their problem, and I should be able to cuddle my dad because I love him and I'm not ashamed of still wanting to hug him. Never had any comments, so my dad no longer worries."
"I'm 21 and still do the same thing when I visit my dad, as OP is describing. It's just flat-out comfortable."
ThespianException explained how toxic masculinity is harmful to everyone.
"I hate to bring up the concept of 'Toxic Masculinity' everywhere but this is a pretty textbook case of the inlaws trying to push it I think. This disgusting idea that men shouldn't be affectionate is so godd*** damaging on both an individual and wider scale, and sadly we're still in the stage where normalizing touching and all that is a fight."
"Good job OP, if more people were like you we'd see a better tomorrow I think. I really hope if I ever become a dad I'm like you."
twisted_memories told a touching story about her dad.
"I used to lay on my dad's bed at night before going to bed. We'd chat about the day and our lives and muse about the future and politics and everything. I did that from 14 to 18. Then he died. I'd give anything for just one more hour lying there talking with my dad. After he passed I'd still lie there sometimes and talk to the air."
"OP, cherish this time with your daughter; who knows how many more opportunities you'll have. NTA."
lilgeoffrey said what we were all thinking: a little bit of snuggling can go a long way in this crazy world.
"I'm a 25 yo woman and whenever I visit my parents for the evening, I'll sit in between them, alternating laying my head on one of them or holding their arm. I find it comforting."
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with hugging your child. There's not enough hugging in the world. NTA"
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