Disney+ recently announced it will be bringing a handful of R-rated movies to its US platform for the first time, a surprising move for a family-friendly streamer.
But the move seems less surprising when you think about how there was once a time when having your entire childhood destroyed by Disney movies like Bambi was a rite of passage!
Among those old enough to remember the devastation of sitting in a darkened movie theater while an animated baby deer's mom get her brains blown out by a hunter is actor Ryan Reynolds, whose own Deadpool and Logan are among the R-rated films coming to the streamer.
He's proposing a whole raft of Disney classics be retroactively rated R, Bambi among them--and it's pretty hard to argue with his choices!
Reynolds announced his new initiative with a handful of Photoshopped film-rating announcements that are hilariously dead-on. See them below.
\u201cWe\u2019re supposed to announce Logan and Deadpool will soon be the first R-rated movies on Disney+. But we all know some Disney movies should already be rated R for irreversible trauma.\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
Along with the images, Reynolds wrote:
"We’re supposed to announce Logan and Deadpool will soon be the first R-rated movies on Disney+."
"But we all know some Disney movies should already be rated R for irreversible trauma."
Reynolds singled out Snow White, Old Yeller, The Lion King, and the aforementioned ne plus ultra of childhood traumas, Bambi as the Disney flicks that need a new rating.
Bambi, of course, is called out for its “cold-blooded killing of an innocent deer mom, that will cause life-long trauma," while Reynolds knocked Snow White for "breaking and entering" and "borderline polyandry," along with worker abuses inherent to the mining industry in which the dwarves worked. If the dwarves ever gain class consciousness Snow White is dunzo!
Meanwhile Old Yeller got dinged for "ugly-crying inducing straight-up murder of Old Yeller," which should frankly be the logline of that movie.
And Lion King? Sure, it's a moving film about friendship and family ties--until you remember that some of the family ties in question are of the "very possibly half-sibling lovin’, or at least kissing cousins" type, as Reynolds put it.
People on Twitter loved Reynolds' proposal--apart from having their Disney-related childhood trauma triggered, of course.
\u201c@VancityReynolds I mean, the trauma caused by Bambi is so very real.\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds I still need therapy for this film.\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds Umm... \n\nThe tie-in marketing is worse (though, my boys go RABID for this)\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds Did you know that The Black Cauldron was actually VERY CLOSE from getting an R-rating?\n\nAnd yet despite it ending up with a PG-rating it still had stuff like THIS?\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
And lots of people had some addendums for Reynolds' list of soul-destroying Disney content.
\u201c@VancityReynolds *taps the sign*\n\nhttps://t.co/FdB3oPnIzO\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds you for sure missed the emotional damage caused by cruella wanting to skin dogs\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds The Great Mouse detective should be R rated just for this mouse lady\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
\u201c@VancityReynolds Also Fox and the Hound left me emotionally destroyed. The ending of this friendship should be rated R \ud83d\ude14\u201d— Ryan Reynolds (@Ryan Reynolds) 1658419975
We'd add a few of our own but we're still recovering from the horrifying experience of watching Pinocchio turn into the world's most uncanny-valley donkey.
