Comedian Matt Rife Sparks Backlash After Defending Sydney Sweeney From 'Absolute Garbage Losers'

Matt Rife has had quite a summer of controversies. One week, he’s tanking an e.l.f. Cosmetics ad campaign so badly it sparked a boycott, and the next he’s casually adopting the actual cursed Annabelle Doll; yes, that nightmare Raggedy Ann that inspired The Conjuring franchise. The TikTok-born comedian has basically lived in a TMZ fan fiction timeline.

And now, he’s added yet another bizarre line to his chaotic résumé: Sydney Sweeney’s self-appointed knight in screaming armor—riding into battle to declare that anyone not supporting the actress’ bathwater business is, quote, “garbage losers.”

The Euphoria actress has been juggling her own stack of chaotic summer headlines. First came the American Eagle jeans ad, which critics accused of serving subtle “white supremacy chic.”

Then came rumors that she’s allegedly a registered Republican (cue the "Surprise Pikachu" face meme in 4K). And finally, her luxury side hustle: soap infused with her own bathwater. Because apparently, we now live in a world where Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop crawled so that celebrity bathwater bars could sprint—straight into the clearance bin at Dollar Tree.

Girl hasn’t just had a summer—she’s had a whole season of random side quests.

Not to be outdone, Rife leapt to defend Sweeney’s bathwater honor—a sentence I can’t believe I just typed—and posted on X:

“I keep seeing people mad at Sydney Sweeney for noooothing. She’s learning that the internet is full of absolute garbage losers who will twist anything you say into a c--ty misinterpretation. People are awful.”

Annabelle, your new daddy is trippin’.

You can view his eye-roll-worthy post here:

At this point, Sweeney and Rife’s publicists deserve hazard pay—or at least a raise big enough to cover the therapy bills.

When asked why women weren’t rushing to buy her “Sweeney Suds,” the actress mused:

“It was mainly the girls making comments about it, which I thought was really interesting… They all loved the idea of Jacob Elordi’s bathwater.”

Which… girl. We are still recovering from Barry Keoghan’s 2023 Saltburn bathtub chug, a cinematic moment that turned Elordi bathwater into a cursed thirst meme. No one asked for the spin-off “Euphoria Eau de Tub.”

But at least Sweeney isn’t alone in the controversy club. Matt Rife built his brand on TikTok as comedy’s answer to a thirst trap, then torched that goodwill at record speed with his Netflix special Natural Selection. What sent him into the downward spiral? A domestic violence joke so tasteless it practically needed its own “parental advisory: do not attempt this set at home” label.

The comedian tried to joke:

“My boy, who I was with, was like: 'Yeah, I feel bad for her, man. I feel like they should put her in the kitchen or something where nobody has to see her face, ya know? And I was like, 'Yeah, but I feel like if she could cook, she wouldn’t have that black eye.”

You hear that? That’s the sound of me hurling every tomato, shoe, and possibly the entire Roku remote at the TV. And rightfully so—domestic violence advocates demanded an apology.

Taking a page from the viral influencer playbook, Rife doubled down and told US Weekly:

“It’s comedy. Sometimes you don’t hit the mark. Plenty of people think I did. Therefore, it’s not a failure.”

Pro-tip, Matt: if you have to explain your punchline, it’s not a punchline.

Luckily for Sweeney, Rife isn’t her only defender. Her accidental Avengers lineup currently features Meghan McCain, Dr. Phil, and Donald Trump—a brunch table so cursed the Warrens would’ve sealed it in glass next to Annabelle and slapped a $100 ticket price on the demonic activity.

But hey, you do you, girl. Meanwhile, stars like Lizzo and Doja Cat have been clowning on her jeans ad with more creativity than the original ad team could’ve ever imagined.

For Sweeney, she has wisely stayed quiet.

But the internet made their discontent (and snark) loud and proud:

And because the Matt Rife saga wasn’t already weird enough, he recently confirmed that he and ghost hunter Elton Castee are now the proud owners of the Warren family’s collection of “haunted”—or, depending on your local Yelp review, fraudulent—objects.

Yes, that includes the infamous glass-encased Annabelle doll: allegedly responsible for decades of paranormal chaos, and somehow the star of three spin-offs that managed to make a yassified Raggedy Ann look like she was overdue for an exorcism.

Any bets on how long before Annabelle makes Rife her next cursed victim?