People Break Down Which Professions Make Bad Spouses

When two people get married, the vows they've exchanged promise that they will stick together through thick and thin.

But "in sickness and in health" doesn't necessarily cover the hardships that come with some professions a person might be working in, and it might be too much to maintain the career and the marriage.

Curious, Redditor dirtymoney asked:

"What professions make bad spouses?"

Gig-Seeking Musicians

"Professional musicians. Not celebrities, but folks who have to gig all the time to survive. Unless you are also a professional musician!"

- wobbsey

"I am a professional musician, and it is extremely tough on relationships. 50% of my income is from music, the other half is from a day job. I also gave up drinking a year ago, which was a challenge considering I'm in clubs 30 hours a week, and alcohol is generally free for musicians."

"I try to include my partner as much as I can. She comes to rehearsals and hangs with us and the wives (we built a family vibe around the band). If I'm playing away, I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford to bring her, and it's a mini holiday where I have to work a few hours over the weekend, so that helps."

"It has killed a lot of relationships over the years, but the kicker is that it always starts out as, 'Oh, playing and travelling all the time sounds so exciting!' But then it ends with, 'You're always playing and travelling all the time, and I'm over it.'"

"The money is pretty good now after years of building the brand, but it takes a very strong partner to handle it, even putting as much effort into the relationships as I do."

- caleb-crawdad

Chef Life

"Speaking from experience, Chefs."

- esoteric_enigma

"Being a chef was a huge contributor to my failed relationship with my ex. I was never around, and I ended up abusing alcohol to cope with the stress. I left it, but it was too late for the relationship. It was long over before I left the culinary world and decided to fix myself."

- hirohimura

Correctional Officers

"Two words: Correctional officers."

- Desert_Flower_120

"My god, I had a buddy work as one for years. He did the overnight shift, and he was increasingly hard to be around those years, and that damage stuck with him."

"Now he's a private security guard, and I couldn't be paid enough to hang out with him anymore. I cannot imagine someone being married to him."

- clamroll

Film Industry Folks

"Anyone in the film biz; they’re either unemployed and home all the time or at work for like 16-hour days, if not on location."

"One of the first things they tell you as a trainee looking to get into the biz is ‘who wants a successful relationship? There’s the door.'"

- FannySmellsALot

"All the folks I know who work in the film industry pull 16-hour days while on set, travel several months of the year, and if they have a family, their partner (usually the woman) is pretty much a single parent. You just have to look at Hollywood marriages to see an example."

- dizzydaizy89

Comedians

"Comedians, if you value your privacy."

- Formal-Proposal7850

"And your self-esteem. They will eviscerate you in the meanest way. I prefer people who just get me to laugh but don’t make money as a 'comedian.'"

- lolzzzmoon

"Agreed. I didn’t date any comedians, but a family member did standup for a while, and it was EXHAUSTING. Everything about you and your life is material, and everything about you is up for mockery, and it absolutely made normal family s**t like 'Christmas' and 'attending weddings' into an ordeal because they were alwayyyyyys 'on.'"

- blueeyesredlipstick

"I became material for a while. I also became the test audience. Nothing like not laughing at a joke and then having someone ask you to explain why you didn’t laugh. Luckily, they were bad at comedy, so it didn’t last long."

- Formal-Proposal7850

Workaholics

"Just workaholics in general. They’re never there for you when you need them. Literally."

- Training-Opposite-17

"Yes, it doesn’t matter the job. They’ll find a way to need to be working non-stop."

- QuienSoyYo

"Story time:"

"IMPORTANT TO KNOW: my husband has a '9:00 to 5:00' job. (Actually, it’s 7:30 to 3:30, but anyhoo.) After he leaves that job, he goes to his side hustle and works until it’s dark. Every. Day."

"A few years ago, I was in a pretty bad wreck as I was coming home from work. I sustained a broken sternum and a fractured vertebra. I was in the ER all night, but they eventually let me go home around midnight."

"The next morning, I heard my husband calling his boss (he works for the city/county) and explained how I’d just been in a wreck and he wasn’t going to be coming in."

"Then he came into our room to tell me that he was going to be doing his side hustle for someone just 10 miles away and to call him if I needed him."

- Training-Opposite-17

Politicians

"I'm surprised nobody has said politician yet."

- noce96

"Everything I've ever read about being a politician makes it sound like one of the most brutal grinds imaginable. Minimum expectation is spending at least four hours a day on the phone begging for money from donors, then do one or two public or social events, then work on whatever legislation, or show up for votes, or run cabinet meetings, or whatever other actual work you have to do between that."

"Politicians have 12-hour days in the slow season, then 16+ on campaign season, and always seven-day weeks and no real holidays. And all that to get paid maybe low six figures when most of them could be making 10-100x that in the private sector. And to get s**t on by most of the general public that thinks you're either a grifter or a lunatic, and lazy as f**k either way."

- Hautamaki

Pilots

"Pilots. When I was actively dating, I couldn’t remember how many times I saw profiles that said they’re pilots, just looking for hookups for the time they’re at the new place, and some dudes were stupid enough to post their family photos. Well, if they’re single and looking for a hookup, that’s fine, but married and hookup everywhere they went was just wow to me."

- tracyvu89

"They used to say a sailor has a girlfriend in every port. Guess it's true for airports, as well."

- Beowulf33232

Flight Attendants

"Flight attendant is a fantastic job for a young, single person with no kids."

"Once you have a family, forget it."

- Dizzy_Try4939

Bartenders

"Bartenders. Long hours, late nights, social environment, easy access to alcohol..."

- luevire

"Yup. If your spouse works from 6:00 to 2:00 AM, and you have a normal 9:00 to 5:00, you’d never see each other. If you have kids, they’d never see the kids, either."

- Arkhangelzk

Tennis Players

"Professional Tennis Players/Coaches. Love means nothing to them."

- Killybug

"My mother was together with one for a couple of years. He even moved into her place."

"He got drunk on NYE and asked her 'if he could have a child with another woman but raise it in her flat, because her flat is nicer…'"

"Turns out he was cheating on her for months, and the side fling got pregnant."

- Different_Scholar548

Doctors And Surgeons

"Doctors. Especially surgeons. There can be exceptions, but yeah."

- HappyCamperDancer

"I'm married to a radiologist, and I got lucky because it's one of the specialties with the best work/life balances. Also lucky because he's a gem of a person."

"But my husband and I love the joke: How do you hide money from a surgeon? Tape it to his child's forehead."

- writergal1421

Tenured Professors

"Tenured faculty. If you ever want your own career path or ever want to move, good luck getting them to care or leave their position."

- Only_Manufacturer735

"Unless they are at the very apex, this is true. Those at the top, I've seen Universities enter into bidding wars to find the spouse a position they'd NEVER get on their own to attract the top prospects. It's nuts."

"One of the reasons I never wanted to work with junior faculty was the chance that their spouse might induce such a move."

- Saedius

Air Traffic Controllers

"Air Traffic Controllers. When everyone at work NEEDS to listen and do everything you say, it makes it hard to compromise at home."

- i_like_pretzels

"Controller here. That's just a**holes anywhere."

"I explained to my wife that I make ten thousand inconsequential decisions a day, and I am cooked after that. The last thing I want to do when I get home is make more. Tell me where to go. Tell me what to do. I'll do it."

- Kseries2497

Nurses

"According to my divorce attorney friend, female nurses are by far the most common demographic he sees torpedo their marriages by cheating. The distant second is male firefighters."

- climbstuff32

"As attracted to their heart as you may be, a Healthcare worker as a spouse is brutal unless they have a strict schedule."

- A_Stay_At_Home_Dad

At the end of the day, every relationship is different, and what might work for some will be a trainwreck for others. But it seems for these Redditors that there are some pretty clear-cut career opportunities that you don't want to pursue or date if you want a relationship to last.