Things People's Significant Others Did That Changed The Way They See Them

When we're dating someone, we might like to think that we know everything about them that we need to know, but sometimes something comes up that totally surprises us.

Sometimes, it's something terrible and ugly, but sometimes, it's the sweetest thing.

Curious, Redditor amarquis_1 asked:

"What did your partner or ex-partner do that made you look at them differently?"

The Right Priorities

"When we had juuusssttt started dating, my husband kept canceling or rescheduling dates to "go visit his sick friend in the hospital". It turns out the friend was real, not a made-up excuse, and had emergency brain surgery to relieve fluid buildup and pressure."

"He didn't have somewhere he could recover with help available, so my husband put him up in his little condo. When the tests came back that it was terminal brain cancer, he let him stay rent-free so that his disability payments would be enough to enjoy life without stressing about finances or pressure to return to work too early, and there would be someone there to help him if needed."

"When we had a brief period where we thought maybe he'd live longer and he went back to work full-time (the original tumor was actually seemingly defeated, but then a few months later two new ones formed) my husband asked him to pay a small rent... And was secretly keeping it in an account to give back to him to help get him started if/when he could move out."

"My husband re-arranged his one-bedroom condo to make a permanent space in the living room so his friend could stay there and the space was still usable. I was amazed by his kindness and it spoke volumes about what kind of person he was, and how he would handle difficult situations."

"(For those that are wondering... We all became great friends and had fun hanging out in that condo together, but sadly our friend passed away after about 2 years... However, he didn't have to worry about money or care, and he was happy for the time he had left."

"He said he didn't have a 'bucket list' and just wanted to enjoy life with his friends and family, and he got to do that while staying out of palliative care for as long as possible. I really wish he could have seen us get married, but we dressed up the cardboard box with our portion of his ashes in a little custom box-sized suit that matched my husband's, put googly eyes on it, and it sat at the head table between us.)"

- CraftyCookieCat

A Welcoming Heart

"My partner shifted my mom to our house during the pandemic days. My mom was severely ill with the pandemic virus and he chose to take care of her than move her to a hospital for isolation."

"We couldn't keep her with my dad since he has a lot of comorbidities and a low immunity. He did not fear getting infected from her and took care of her day and night like his own mother."

"He used to lift her and take her to the washroom as she was very weak and recovering from low oxygen."

- neerajshar34

"I said we need to buy a house big enough for my grandmother to live with us instead of her living in a retirement home. Then he found the house and remodeled the first floor to include a one-bedroom apartment for her."

"She lived with us for 15 years and died at home with her family around her. Now my Dad lives with us in that apartment and it is the best thing ever. My hubby is a rock star."

- PersistantTeach

So Impressive

"She stopped teaching yoga, went and got her GED at age 31, enrolled in community college, transferred to university, graduated at seven months pregnant, took a year off to be with our daughter, got accepted to grad school, got her Master's, and brought in a second income for our family."

"We'll have been together for 20 years next year, I'll never stop being impressed."

- bigbritches

The Love Of A Dog

"What hammered it into my head that I loved him:"

"My now partner came over and carried my beloved 75-pound, old-old collie up and down the stairs to my condo twice a day to the toilet for months, insisted on driving us to that awful appointment with the vet, stayed with me during euthanasia and actually was tearful, as an emotionally avoidant man."

"He also collected his ashes as he knew it would be horrendous for me, and then spent weeks sitting on the floor getting my new rescue to not be afraid of him... I am a very lucky woman... Believe me, I know it!"

- HinSoCal

In Sickness And In Health

"My ex (who was lying about a lot of other things as well) left me at the ER and went out drinking, didn’t respond to my call at 1:00 AM, which was to give him a health update, and then sent me a half-hearted text the next morning asking how it all went."

"I could have been lying there dead in the hospital. I regret not dumping him then."

- slightlysadpeah

Very Real Projection

"She called me a narcissist for not messaging or calling her back during my aunt's funeral."

"Also when my aunt died, she had a meltdown because I might miss her birthday."

"It’s like a switch turned off that could never be turned back on, and from that moment, I knew it was over."

- Legal-Crab9154

Making It All About Themselves

"Yesterday I told my partner that during a doctor visit I'd scheduled to discuss new symptoms, the doc felt something in my abdomen and sent me to have same-day imaging done."

"My husband replied, 'I'm sorry, that must be rough. I'm thinking of strengthening my core during workouts, I think it'll make my squats better.'"

"This morning when I brought up how that hurt my feelings, he argued why he thought I didn't want to talk about it and not once tried to console me or make it up to me."

"So probably that."

- Grabbagal

Money Doesn't Buy Class

"One night my worst ex and I were out at a bar in the city and she got hammered and started making out with a girl."

"On our way home as I’m questioning her and still trying to decide how I feel about it, she reveals that she did it to steal said girl’s wallet, which she then proudly holds up."

"She grew up rich but was nonetheless the trashiest person I’ve ever met."

- Vilnius_Nastavnik

"My head cannon meet cute is that you then dumped this chick and took the wallet so you could find the rightful owner. After returning the wallet the two of you fell madly in love and are now living in a happily ever after."

"Don't tell me if it isn't true, just let me have this."

- Growlette

Chosen Family

"When we were less than a year into dating, he invited me to his brother’s wedding."

"His half-brother, whom I had never met, proceeded to be combative and antagonistic with me about everything, frequently looking me up and down, lingering on my cleavage. I’ve always been a fighter with s**tty men, so I gave the half-brother a piece of my mind over lunch."

"We walked back to our hotel but I was so uncomfortable at one point that I was shaking while we were getting ready for the actual ceremony. My partner, furious, called his family and threatened to leave the wedding right then and there."

"I still remember him pacing around the bathroom, in just shoes and the nice pants from the suit we picked out together, interrupting his mom to say, 'No, you need to listen to me. No talking. No excuses.' Throughout the entire wedding, he was my shield against his half-brother and we left promptly the next day after lunch."

"No one, not even my biological dad, had stood up for me with their own family before. I was always told I had to just deal or 'Well, they’re family.' But he knew exactly how uncomfortable I was and didn’t question me at all. He said once he saw the behavior he couldn’t unsee it and it just disgusted him."

"My partner refuses to ever see his half-brother again and has been deeply protective of me with his family since."

"I still think about that a lot."

- JoanOfSarcasm

Quality Time

"I was in an international long-distance relationship and my boyfriend at the time was flying to the US to see me. I was very ill with a chronic illness and urgently had to be sent to the hospital. He was still in his own country about to get on a flight, so I called him and told him that I was going to likely be in the hospital all week, so if he didn’t want to come, it was okay, and I’d understand."

"He came anyway and spent the whole week with me in the hospital. He didn’t complain ONCE. He brought my books and laptop to me every day and spent hours just sitting next to me playing 'Mario Kart' on my Switch."

"This was 2022 and we got married a month ago."

- Affectionate_Fix4385

A Quiet Kindness

"During the later stages of covid, he was working 15-hour shifts for NHS. I was in India, he was in the UK, so there was a bit of a timezone difference, and the only time we could talk was during his one-and-a-half-hour-long commute back home."

"During one such call, I saw him quietly get up from his seat and give it up for an aged man and smile at him. It was a small gesture, he didn't realize I saw him, but it still told me the type of person he was."

"He's the type of person who would work 15-hour shifts and do home visits for elderly patients during covid. Who would give up his seat for a stranger with a smile. Who would stand out in the snow to get a better signal to talk to me for five extra minutes. I love him."

- Desperate-Exit692

Heartwarming

"I once got in a huge fight with my father who I already had a strained relationship with. He told me to get out of his house and several other hurtful things. I came home and my ex gf was asleep and I got in the bath and cried. I stayed in there so long, the water was cold."

"She woke up and came to the bathroom and saw me. Without saying a word she just took off her robe and got in the cold bath with me and held me. It was the most loving thing I’ve ever experienced especially right after my father wanted nothing to do with me."

- Left-Design7066

Small Gestures

"I had a pretty severe injury that I tried to downplay for years. Sometimes when my ex was asleep, I would sneak out and sleep on our cheap couch when I was in pain because it was a bit more comfortable."

"One night I did this, and as I was making up the couch, she just walked in with the blanket from the bed and laid down on the short part of the sectional so we were head to head and went to sleep without saying anything."

"That relationship ended up blowing up in my face but for a few years we were really in love and I hope everyone gets a chance to feel that kind of love."

- candlestickmaker123

A Helping Hand

"We had just got in my car when it was snowy and very icy out. He saw a woman we vaguely know who is nearly blind and has developmental issues trying to cross the road at a very dangerous spot."

"He leapt out the car to help her and walked her home to make sure she was safe. He also offers to help anyone who looks like they’re struggling with anything. He’s a keeper!"

- Low_Matter3628

Showing Up Every Day

"He’s now my husband but, before when we were close friends, we did have a connection (I thought that was one-sided and never told him). Anyway, I went through a very difficult situation and opened up to him. I ended up sleeping over and cried periodically throughout the night, and he would wake up and comfort me."

"I basically wanted to give up, but he came up with solutions and helped me get into contact with someone who assisted me in turning things around. He was just there for me throughout the years in so many different ways."

"We were friends for six years before we got together, and I’ve seen him change a lot. He had his own struggles; he went to therapy and sorted himself out."

"He shows up for me every day, and I do the same. I lost my job not long ago and am in a bit of a rut, so this morning as he was getting ready to leave; he made me a coffee in my travel mug, told me to get ready so I could walk him to the underground station."

"It’s sunny out, and it’s his way of getting me up and out and started with my day; I told him I wanted to paint this morning and he tried to make sure I would."

"I love him so much."

- mykneescrack

Imagining someone saying or doing something big enough to change our whole perception of them generally inspires negative scenarios, like cheating or treating someone terribly. While instances like that were present here, it was refreshing that most of these were so sweet and beginnings to wonderful lives together.