When we love someone enough to commit to a long-term relationship or marriage with them, we sometimes fall into a trap of wearing rose-colored glasses, now often referred to as "girlfriend goggles" or "boyfriend goggles," and ignoring the signs that the relationship might not be as perfect as we'd like to imagine it is.
This is especially true for people who ignore the blatant red flags in their relationships, like many women who have confided on social media that they don't think their husbands even like them.
Divorced TikToker @fashionably.divorced was one of these women who realized that her husband did not like her, did not care about her, and was not willing to contribute to their marriage in the same way she did. Since divorcing, she's shared powerful TikTok videos about red flags in marriages and how to either work on them or exit the relationship altogether.
To @fashionably.divorced, one red flag is as simple as walking together in public.
We've all heard the theory that when walking on a sidewalk, a man will show he cares about his partner and her safety by walking on the edge of the sidewalk, closer to traffic, to keep a barrier between her and oncoming cars.
But here's the point that we've been skipping over in that analogy—that man is also walking right beside his partner.
TikToker @fashionably.divorced argues:
"Here's another thing that men do to show the women in their lives they don't actually care about them."
"They will walk ahead of you in most cases."
"This is something my husband did a lot, and when I would ask him to slow down 'cause I would be like nearly running to keep up with him, he would always tell me, 'You walk too slow, walk faster.'"
"One time, very early in our marriage, he actually bought me a pair of shoes that were designed to help people walk faster."
You can watch the video here:
Some TikTokers were not at all surprised that more women are choosing to be single over participating in loveless marriages.
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Others shared heartbreakingly similar experiences to @fashionably.divorced's video.
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A few agreed with @fashionably.divorced and pointed out what partners should do instead.
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In her video, TikToker @fashionably.divorced shared an example from her late marriage when the then-couple vacationed in Key West. She wanted to take her time, walking along, seeing the sights, and exploring a place she'd never been to before. Her husband, on the other hand, walked ahead of her, insisting as usual that she walked too slowly.
It reached a point where she gave up trying to keep up with him and instead crossed the street to explore some of the vendors.
After several minutes, which is actually a long time, her then-husband turned around, looked for her, and spotted her at a vendor, where she waved to him. He did not wave back or smile at her—instead, he turned back around and kept walking.
This is not a person who wants to spend time with their partner, let alone vacation with them.
It's clear that this TikToker deserves a redo-vacation to Key West, where she can enjoy herself, and there are surely countless redo-experiences that other people deserve without their neglectful partners.
