Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Guy Mortified After Realizing He Just Hooked Up With A Woman Whose Daughter He Had Recently Slept With

Guy Mortified After Realizing He Just Hooked Up With A Woman Whose Daughter He Had Recently Slept With
Roy Hsu via Getty Images

Quietly leaving after a purely physical sexual encounter is guilt-ridden enough when it occurs in the vacuum of one's own emotions, on display for nobody.

It becomes exponentially worse when the act of leaving involves immediately confronting the fallout of another purely physical sexual encounter.

And both partners are related.


The "walk of shame" is a cultural institution. The libido-fueled cloud of desire from the prior evening faded sometime in the night while both parties slept.

In the morning after no strings attached, transactional sex, there is one goal on a person's mind: remain invisible, get home without interacting with anybody and reflect in the shower.

For one Redditor, some brutal eye contact and a behind-the-scenes look at a family tree were two additional, unwelcome variables to that escape-minded journey. On the popular

subReddit "Today I F'd Up,"

BlewOffMyLegOff—as the master of ungraceful exit is known on Reddit—begins his hook-up story by establishing the setting: a place where transactional sex abounds.

"So for a little bit of context, I live near a rather large college campus, tons of girls go to local bars nearby and I hooked up with this girl one night 6 months ago. One and done deal, no hurt feelings about it."

The foreshadowing here is clear.

He continues on to the sexual encounter at hand, no doubt sparked by a dating app.

"Fast forward to a week ago, I match with an older woman, she's in her 40s and I'm in my mid 20s, we exchange messages and arrange to meet for drinks on Friday. We meet, things go very well, she asks me back to her place, I agree stupidly."

"Stupidly," used here, is likely the product of hindsight.

Based on the tale thus far, this man does not appear to be prudish at such a moment in the date.

"When we get back to her place, i think to myself that this place looked familiar, but ignored that and proceeded with the hook up."

"Follow your gut" has never felt like such good advice.

BlewOffMyLegOff had the solution in his grasp; he smelled that things were awry.

But he pressed on toward hedonism and the inevitable come down (which would strangely involve eggs, as the reader will learn).

"She asked me to spend the night, I agreed stupidly, and when I woke up the next morning to leave I smelled breakfast cooking. To my absolute shock and dismay her daughter locked eye contact with me."
"It's the girl from 6 months ago. I was able to fumble together an excuse to leave and noped out."
"Single most awkward experience of my life."

Needless to say, the Reddit community was way more positive about the whole thing, tossing around jokes and questions.

After all, it's far easier to derive enjoyment when you're not the one locked into eye contact with an old flame, a phoenix rising from the ashes and you just had sex with mama bird.

First, there were outlandish suggestions.

"Should've asserted dominance and introduced yourself as her new daddy." -- WeakPressure1
"Hard mode: Now you have to bang the dad." -- KriegerBahn
"I want an update when you match with grandma." -- _OneTwo_
"You are still young enough that you got a chance with a granddaughter when she turns 21." -- robbdavenport
"When you woke up and smelled breakfast cooking, that was the beginning of Act II." -- enormusschwanzstucker
"Dude you were about to get free home cooked breakfast after a hookup. Your only f*ck up here was leaving." -- skraz1265
"I've watched and researched this a lot! you should of stayed for hot threesome sex." -- dirtyundies12

Some got over their laughter and swooped in with some logic and reasoning.

Nerds.

"If the mom is having college aged guys near campus spend the night knowing her daughter will run into them, chances are they don't really care about sharing hookups." -- CMDR_KingErvin
"If he got them both pregnant how would the kids be all related." -- sailorjasm

It is unclear where the narrator of this story ultimately ate breakfast. Maybe there's a story there too.

More from Trending

Rebel Wilson
Amanda Edwards/Getty Images

Rebel Wilson Reveals She Was Nearly Left 'Permanently Disfigured' By Accident On Film Set

After first becoming friends more than 14 years ago on the set of the first Pitch Perfect movie, Anna Camp and Rebel Wilson are back together in Bride Hard, now with Camp as the bride and Wilson as her best friend, and also a secret agent.

There is some chance of injury in almost any job, but with stunts in an action film, there are bound to be incidents, even if it's just a few stubbed toes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joe Biden; Alan Ritchson
Bruce Glikas/WireImage; Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Joe Biden And His Family Accidentally Crashed The 'Reacher' Set And Met Star Alan Ritchson

What do you do when you're the former President and you stumble upon a real-live Hollywood film set? Why, fan boy just like the rest of us, of course!

President Joe Biden and his family were heading to dinner on a recent night in Philadelphia when they happened upon the set of the Amazon Prime show Reacher. In fact, he drove right up to the set itself, seemingly without even realizing it.

Keep ReadingShow less
Mike Lee
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

GOP Senator Faces MAGA Backlash Over Plan To Sell Millions Of Acres Of Public Land

Utah Republican Senator Mike Lee is facing harsh criticism—including from Team MAGA—over his proposal to sell off millions of acres of public land in the American West owned by the Bureau of Land Management and the U.S. Forest Service to supposedly create more affordable housing.

Lee claimed in his proposal that there is an "extensive process for interested parties like States and local governments to nominate land for disposal to meet housing and community needs," noting that it specifically exempts national parks, monuments, and federally designated wilderness areas from potential land sales.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Saul Loeb/AFP via Getty Images

Trump Ripped For Complaining That Americans Get 'Too Many' Federal Holidays Off Work

While it was ultimately former President Joe Biden who established Juneteenth as a federal holiday, President Donald Trump—who once campaigned on that promise—took to Truth Social on Juneteenth to whine about the number of "non-working holidays" Americans get, claiming that it costs businesses "billions of dollars."

Juneteenth is derived from June 19, 1865, when Union troops led by General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas, and declared that all enslaved African Americans in the state were free.

Keep ReadingShow less
A woman sitting up in bed as a man sleeps next to her.
Florida State University Researchers Find Predictors for Infidelity in New Study
(Wodicka/ullstein bild via Getty Images)

The Biggest 'They're Definitely Cheating On Me!' Signs People Ignored

When our partner commits suspicious behavior, it's easy for us to jump to conclusions.

Most of the time, the conclusions we jump to are 100% wrong and are just our imaginations playing tricks with us.

Keep ReadingShow less