Even our loved ones keep secrets. And sometimes those secrets are even bigger than we could have ever imagined. And it's hard to palate it sometimes when they're no longer around to handle the fallout.
u/rGuile asked Reddit:
What is the most shocking thing that you learned about someone after their death?
Here were some answers.
Even More Of A Saint
When my grandma died, a lot of homeless people showed up to her funeral. Turns out she was or had fed/helped them. They were crying so much, it was really sweet.
Only The Good Die Young
My great aunt died about a year ago. She was in her mid 70s. We were unpacking all her things and we found her diaries, some from years ago and some just before her death. In her diaries she had mentioned that she despised her sister (to be honest, none of us liked her), and didn't like a lot of my cousins.
Most shocking, she kept on talking about a man who she called, 'monster'. This man had been harassing her for years. She never mentioned it nor indicated that anything was wrong. We suspect that it was her boss.
I loved her dearly, she was so sweet.
Someone For Everyone
I had an aunt who was severely disabled most of her life and confined to a wheelchair. I was surprised to find out after she died she had a lover most of her life with similar disabilities who passed away shortly before her. I'm glad she had someone in her life like that.
Life Gone
After my Grandpa died, I found out that he had stolen 176,000 dollars from a trust fund meant for my brother and I and that he had taken it out mainly in 3 lump sums for gambling.
He Noticed
That my friend/ co-worker would talk about me to his family, in good terms of course. When he passed from cancer last year I met his parents and introduced myself as a former coworker. Told them that he was always really encouraging back in the day when I always spoke of wanting to be a writer. His mom perked up and said "oh he used to talk about you! He always hoped it would work out for you." I found that to be very encouraging. I cried a bit in the car as I was leaving the wake.
The Talent Went Down Too
A few years after my great aunt passed away, we found out that she had a daughter no one in our family knew about. The daughter, who I'll call M, had been put up for adoption when my aunt was very young.
M had been searching for her missing side of the family since she was young, and was in her fifties when she finally found us. Unfortunately, she never got to meet her biological mother, but she and her daughters couldn't be happier to have found us, and we have welcomed them in with open arms.
My family is very musically inclined and several of us play(ed) instruments, my great aunt included. M's daughter is very musically talented and always says that she never knew where she got it from until she met us. Her daughter told us that learning there was this whole side of her family who is just like her was one of her greatest moments in life.
M acts and talks exactly like my aunt did, always saying quirky stuff and being very animated, which fascinates me because she never was able to grow up and live with my aunt. My family is very close knit, and it hit really hard when my aunt passed away, so finding this woman who is my aunt made over has been such a blessing.
Sorry for the long story, I just love telling it.
Poor And Old Are Not The Same
An elderly man at church lived alone (a widower) and was thought to be quite poor.
Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, parishioners would bring him food baskets and practical things he could use for daily living.
To everyone's amazement, when he died, he left the church just under $2 million with a letter expressing his gratitude for the years of care the church had shown him.
Fine Word, Legitimate
We very recently found out via ancestry.com that my grandfather had an illegitimate child that was born the year he married my grandmother. I have a half-aunt, blood test confirmed.
She's 50, and only knew who her father could be (my grandpa) because her mother told her what his name possibly was; went looking, and she eventually found us. My mother sent her DNA test in to confirm, and it was a match.
Other Families Are Weirdly Common
My great grandpa had a second family that he didn't see as often.
He was married the first time for only about a year before his wife and newborn both passed away in a car accident (1945ish). Then he got remarried to my great grandma and none of our family knew he was still in contact with his first family when he passed away around 2010.
It's really weird seeing a dozen strangers at a funeral that all say they're related to the deceased, but the other 40 relatives had no idea they were still in contact.
He Deserved Better
There was this man I worked with at Walmart some years back. Always a nice guy, helpful, etc. Turns out, he passed away a few months ago, (he was in his sixties I think). The circumstances of his death, left me depressed and just sad. He apparently died alone, with his power cut off because he couldn't afford the bill. People didn't find out about him until a week or so later after he died. I still think about him almost daily. Even though he more than likely forgot who I was, ( we didn't have any interaction outside of work) it saddens me greatly to learn how he died.