Whatever you do... don't do it!
Too late.
After Redditor FossaRed asked the online community, "What's the most inappropriate time you laughed?" everyone had a good (appropriate) laugh at that while recounting their memories.
You see, we've all done it. No use in denying it. As for the consequences of those laughs... while not everyone went into great detail, we imagine they're probably even funnier in hindsight.
"This was at a ballet school performance."
This was at a ballet school performance. It was for kids ranging from 5 to 16 year olds.
For one of the younger age groups they did this thing where one kid pranced from one corner of the stage to the other, and then another kid would do the opposite, in a big X pattern. And they would have these gigantic sh!t-eating grins on their faces. Just horribly precious.
Well I started losing it at about the 15th kid but it went on for like 40 children! By the end I was in tears and all the other adults in the audience near me had found it contagious so everyone was just sitting there laughing at their own children.
"I always had a problem..."
I always had a problem laughing when I was being scolded in my childhood. Then I would be scolded further for laughing, then I would laugh more. It was a vicious cycle.
"We were at my uncle's funeral..."
We were at my uncle's funeral whose death was a surprise; I was standing with my cousin who just came back from abroad to attend her dad's funeral and was breaking down. My aunt, the deceased's sister, came to tell my cousin that someone we know is apologizing for not being able to attend the funeral because she's in the hospital due to a car accident, my aunt went on describing the woman's very difficult condition and how she had an "iron pole" stuck into her forehead. 10 minutes later, the woman appears through the door in perfect health with just some scratches, my cousin sees her and look at me from the other side of the crowded silent room and we both can't stop laughing for the rest of the funeral.
"As soon as she opened her mouth..."
A woman got on stage to sing during a friend's wedding as part of the ceremony. It was naturally a song the bride and groom chose.
As soon as she opened her mouth it became clear that she absolutely tone deaf. It sounded like an animal being tortured.
I was trying not to laugh but two guys behind me started laughing and it set off a chain reaction of laughter. Even the groom was red faced from trying not to laugh. She just kind of sheepishly left the stage afterward.
"Me and friend..."
GiphyMe and a friend were altar boys. An older woman took to the podium to read a Bible passage. The passage described how Jesus loves everyone: the sick and the healthy, the rich and the poor, the circumcised and the uncircumcised. That's all it took for a pair of 10 year old boys to start laughing hysterically in front of a packed church.
"I was once hired to sing at a funeral..."
I was once hired to sing at a funeral and right before I was called up, the little boy in front of me ripped the loudest fart. I dug my face into my lady friends shoulder and my whole body trembled as I tried to keep it together. With in seconds I was at the pulpit and trying to come up with what I would do if I broke out laughing. I sang to the best of my ability at the time with a "cough" every now and then. We left immediately afterwards and laughed in the car till we couldn't breath.
"But there's one section..."
A few years ago I was participating in a religious ceremony with my extended family. I'm not religious, but my mom and her family are so I agreed to participate. I was tasked with reading one of the sections aloud and had to read off a list of titles of the Virgin Mary. Most of them were pretty straightforward, "Queen of the Angels, Queen Most Holy", etc.
But there's one section that starts with the word "Virgin...". I get to it and I'm trying not to smirk, but as soon as I said the phrase "Virgin Most Powerful" I glanced at my brother and my SO and they were grinning at me. Their grins caused me to burst into giggles and I had to excuse myself while my mom glared knives into me.
My brother continued the rest of the reading.
"He had a squeaky voice."
Group therapy.
A kid (22 or so but you get the idea) was talking passionately about his struggles with Asperger's and OCD. He had a squeaky voice. He started talking about his OCD categories: things that belonged under the earth, things that belonged on the earth, things that belonged in the water, and things that belonged in space. He named specific objects. Rocks, bugs, etc.
He said there were some things he could not fit neatly into his categories, even if they seemed like they were supposed to be in one. This distressed him.
He bemoaned cars. He bemoaned women and pointed at one.
Then with no segue, announced that the reason he was there was because he snuck into the zoo at night and leapt into the lion enclosure.
I had to bury my face in my elbow and turn away.
Of course his problems were real, but it just seemed so out of place on a day when people were talking about who diddled them when.
"I was getting scolded..."
I was getting scolded by a teacher and just started to laugh. She wrote a note and told me to get it signed by my parents. Went back home and gave the note to my dad. He started scolding me and then I started laughing again. I'll spare you the details of what happened after that.
"A young teenager..."
A young teenager was leaning forward in a chair at a restaurant, lost traction, and SLAMMED their face into the table. Absolute hysterical sobbing ensued. Their parents stopped eating their salads to make sure they were okay (they were, aside from a nose bleed)
I was sitting at the table next to them and cracked the hell up at the sound of them hitting the table, and even more when they started crying.
I was a horrible human being in that moment. Feel bad after the fact, but in the moment it tickled me to my core.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
