Whether you like to hear it or not, you'll have several "best friends" in your life and some stick around longer than others. Some will be around for as long as you're around; others enter your life for specific periods, leave their mark, and then go on their merry (or maybe not so merry) way.
After Redditor thisbloomingbud asked the online community, "Those who ended their relationship with their best friend: What was the breaking point?" people shared their stories. Do you see some of your own experience in any of these? You probably do. If there's something we all understand, it's the end of a relationship, the closing of a chapter, and the ushering in of another.
"He married a woman whose upbringing..."
He married a woman whose upbringing had resulted in her being repulsed by physical contact and sex in general. To try to fill the void in his life, he made a pass at my wife. I have not talked to him since she told me what he did.
"He promised me..."
He promised me he would pay my rent with our business profits while I went out of town but instead bought a truck with our money and told my landlord that I had the money but refused to pay. My family ended up homeless.
"Our friendship had been really codependent..."
When my dad was dying of stage four cancer, she just smiled and said, "I didn't like him anyway."
Like, in the same room as him. He was awake and it was one of the last things he ever heard.
Our friendship had been really codependent and unhealthy for years, but that was the sentence that made me realize that she wasn't just edgy and kind of cold, she was actually a bad person. I only met up with her one time after that (for closure).
"Realized I was the one keeping the friendship alive..."
Realized I was the one keeping the friendship alive and she didn't really care. She's been passive aggressive and had lied and gaslighted in the past but she had become ruder and more dismissive lately and I was too angry with her to let it go. Looking back it was a long time coming.
"She was always belittling me..."
When I realized her childhood/family was too dysfunctional and she was taking her anger/frustration out on me since mine was not. She was always belittling me and talking over me and I just realized it wasn't worth it. She was funny and we liked the same things but if I spent more than 2 hours with her, I came home feeling worn down.
"I tried everything I could..."
They became a meth addict and blamed everyone else for their problems. I tried everything I could to help them for over a year. I ruined a lot of my own life trying to be there for them. It was a hard lesson to learn that sometimes the people that you really love and care about are beyond help. It hurts to remember the person that she used to be and admit to myself that the person I knew is gone.
"I couldn't stand the thought..."
She was just accepting failure every time. She was dealt a horrible hand in life and inherited her dead mom's dilapidated hoarding house and moved in.
I offered to help her to clean it countless times but the last time i went in it looked like it needed condemning. She also dated a strung-out dead beat guy and they are so toxic together. Definitely lots of Xanax and probably heroin involved. The final straw was they bought a husky with no previous dog knowledge. Neither her nor her boyfriend could afford flea meds and the dog was likely anemic from the fleas. I spent my own money to help with her poor dog to clean it up. The next day her boyfriend was asking on FB where he could buy an xbox or PC for the lowlow.
I couldn't stand the thought of not coughing up the $100 to get flea meds and a flea bath for your clearly neglected dog but they can afford Xanax and Xboxes. I blocked her on everything, we were friends for 10 years but I couldn't watch her become such a piece of s*** anymore.
"Makes it a lot easier."
He and I lived on opposite sides of the country. I had been thinking of moving to Phoenix at the time since I knew people there but I didn't care for the heat. He told me I should move in with him in Alabama and I could crash on his couch until we got a bigger place. Fast forward 6 months, 2 weeks away from moving 3 thousand miles, and I finally put my notice in at work. I get home and tell him on Discord and he asks me where I'm going to be living. I said with him since that was the plan. He then tells me I can no longer crash on his couch because he can't bring girls over when a random guy is living on his sofa. I was livid. I knew I couldn't find a place in two weeks when I wasn't even there yet but I tried.
I did eventually move to Alabama and he and I plus 2 others got a big house. It was a mistake. He's hands down the worst person I could ever call a friend. He uses people. He'll make plans with you and ditch you. He'll tell you whatever you want to hear. I tried talking to him about some personal issues and he would treat it as some sort of competition of who has it worse. We moved away from each other but now we're living together because he needed a place to go after getting kicked out of where he was. He tells people that me and my other roommate were hurting financially and that's why he lives with us. Took me a while to confront the fact that we're not friends. First time I cried over losing a friend in my life. In hindsight it's good riddance. I might have to live with him now but I ignore him for the most part. Makes it a lot easier.
"The sad thing is..."
My childhood best friend was always ditching me at the last minute for any better opportunity that came up. Babysitting jobs, sleepovers with more popular girls at school, etc. She literally told me to my face, "We can always make plans another time." Well excuse me for thinking that my best friend would actually want to honor her commitments to me.
Enough was enough when she called me during the evening on a day she was absent from school demanding to know why I hadn't called her to see if she was ok. I had broken up with my boyfriend that day but she didn't give a s***. She just assumed I would always be there for her when she wanted me, but she'd kick me to the curb when I wasn't any use to her.
The sad thing is that I -wanted- to always be there for her. When things were good, she was an amazing friend and we had so many great times together. I still think back and wonder if ending our friendship was the right thing to do. But she didn't treat me right and I finally had to leave. I have never had the same bff/sister level friendship with anyone else. But I no longer invest my loyalty where I know I won't get it back.
"We haven't seen each other since."
Wouldn't come to my wedding even though he introduced my wife and I. Tried to explain to him there was nothing I wanted more other than for him to be there. His girlfriend at the time didn't want to go because she was insecure with her appearance.
We haven't seen each other since. My wife and I will be celebrating our 33rd anniversary soon.
"After being ignored..."
After being ignored, pushed around, and controlled for 3 months I got the hell out of there. She wouldn't let me hang out with my other friend group at a Halloween dance because, "I have to hang out with the group I decided to match costumes with." She gave me disgusted looks. She talked with everyone but me at my lunch table. I got offered a spot at my other friend groups table and I took it immediately. I don't talk to her anymore.
"I was being sexually..."
She traded me up when she got transferred to a promotion. All of a sudden, she was too busy to call or text or spill tea.
I was being sexually harassed and walked out the door - I tried to drop hints about it. She always brushed me off, said I didn't understand the HR process (because she's in HR) and that I'm too intense about systemic racism and prejudice.
I dropped sh!t for this person. I bought her mother presents and shit for her birthday. I thought this person would be another aunt to my kids.
I wasn't cool enough for her. But now, i hear, shes super interested in learning about racial issues.
"Luckily..."
When I realized that I couldn't tell them good news.
Every time I say something, no matter how big the accomplishment, it gets responded with a "oh cool but I did this.." I'm just not someone who feels the need to one up my friends. If they do something they're proud of then I'm gonna make the moment about them.
When I realized that i'm really uncomfortable around them.
A few years ago, I started to realize that I really don't look forward to hanging out with them. I still forced myself to see them because I thought it was me, I thought I was just depressed and something was wrong with me. I then began to pay attention to how I feel when I'm with them and I hate it. I feel like I have to pretend when I'm around them and be someone I'm not.
When I realized that they become different people when women are around.
I get it (I guess) that maybe sometimes you try to flex a little too hard when you're around a pretty girl but my god, this really rubbed me the wrong way. Every time there was a pretty girl around he says trying to show off, "I have this and that" and "I do this and that" making sure they hear. The worst is when they try to bring me down when women were around.
When I realized I'm just not like them.
They like starting facebook drama, they like to constantly assert dominance, they talk sh!r about anyone and everyone, think they're never wrong it's just... a lot. I'll never forget the one night I was talking to someone who had been an old friend and they made fun of them once they left and I just let them..
I can't bring new friends around them, I would never bring the girl I was talking to at the time around them, I would never bring family around them and yet I still wanted to be their friends because I believed that finding new friends at 20+ years old would be impossible and not something I wanted to do.
Luckily, as of a few weeks ago, I stopped responding to the group chat, I unfollowed them on social media and cutting ties with them. If anything I'd rather be alone than associating with them.
"After 22 years..."
After 22 years, my breaking point was him predicting a TV show's storyline outcome with 100% certainty- even said it was a spoiler not a prediction. Sent me 25+ texts and audio messages all day trying to show me what a prophet he was. Of course, it didn't come true and I said as much- very politely and as a joke. He would have preferred I ignore it like I did for all of his other theories and predictions which never panned out.
He sent 10 minutes of audio and long paragraphs of text to explain he was reverse jinxing the outcome. And to add insult to injury he tried to turn the tables on me by taking my hyperbole as literally. So not only did he accept zero responsibility for being wrong, he wanted to chip away at me.
He blamed everything on stressful work and living in a Corona world in 2020. My final message was about him not knowing when to let something go and there was no reason for him to be defensive. My jokes were whoosh- over his head.
Bottom line? He smothered me for decades. I always felt obligated to respond to his calls, e-mails, and texts at work and in my free time. And he wanted detailed, thought-provoking responses. He has let me down on the jobs I gave him and is oblivious about it. Drama king- always an issue with work, family, and gets triggered at every new article. Gave him two loans, never paid back one and has no idea he was wrong. Misery loves company- very competitive and liked me to be at his level of outrage and financial status. He gets real high or low when he's too tried, overworked, stressed, etc. yet time and time again will not listen to me when I tell him to sleep it off or at least give me a break.
My heart was broken for a week and I still am learning to make new habits. But I feel free. He is the type to drive to my house and apologize, so I am not looking forward to that. I'm sure he cannot think without me and no one else can listen to his rants/theories on government, society, family, bosses, money, philosophy, psychology, China, etc. He needs to learn.
Leach! Pest! But, oh, he is a "nice guy"!
"When they both decided..."
When they both decided to abandon me in the lowest and most depressed point of my life and when I was finally able to try and talk it out with them they both refused to accept any responsibility and blamed me, deciding that they were upset about minor things that had happened four months ago and they'd never talked to me about.
"He was a platonic friend..."
He was a platonic friend to my ex girlfriend of 6 years with whom i had recently broken up with. Found out he was telling her most of what I was sharing with him, including my follow-up dating. I was really taken aback as it was absurdly cruel on both sides.
We do not talk anymore and his only excuse was "you know me, i have a big mouth". He was a 33 year old man.
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