Common Things People Say That Don't Actually Make Sense

The English language is said to be one of the most difficult to master, which makes sense given its complex grammar and inconsistent rules.

Even fluent speakers are occasionally stumped on the logic of certain phrases, but they don't think twice about them since it's been accepted as long as they can remember.

Still, it makes one wonder how flawed phrases have gone on undetected or unchallenged.

Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Upside_Down12 asked:

"What’s a common thing people say that makes no f'king sense?"

Animals are often referred to or used as an analogy to awkward effect.

Overheated

“I’m sweating like a pig.”

"Pigs do not sweat."

– FlopShanoobie

The Cursed Ones

"'Healthy as a horse'. Horses are not ever healthy. It’s so expensive. They can’t even throw up. There is always something wrong. AHHHHH."

– veggie_bat

"Why can't horses throw up?"

– messcot

"They literally are not designed with a gag reflex. They also can’t really burp, which is why gas colic is so common and deadly to them. A specific example is a horse that has eaten lawn mower grass clippings."

"Your not supposed to feed them to horses straight away because the lawn mower heats them up which starts the fermentation process, then the horses eat it, and the fermentation creates gas."

"That gets trapped in their gut and causes pain. They roll to try to relieve that pain, which can then twist their gut and intestines, rupturing them and killing them.

"They also are incredibly good at finding the one and only thing they could ever get injured on it a pen and kill themselves on it. It’s ridiculous."

– MollieEquestrian

Hear Me Roar

"People referring to a lion being the ‘king of the jungle’ without realising lions don’t live in jungles."

– LongShlongSilver-

"That's because the meaning of jungle has changed over time. It used to refer to any untamed wilderness."

– EmperorJake

Rise And Shine

“ 'The early bird catches the worm.' You know who woke up even earlier than the bird? That worm."

– anaraisa

“But the second mouse gets the cheese.”

– BraapSchaap

"You know who got up even earlier than the second mouse? That cheese."

– BarnacleMcBarndoor

These are head-scratchers.

Catching Zzzzs

“'I slept like a baby' when they infamously sleep awfully."

– Asleep-Split-680

"I do sleep like a baby. I go to bed super early, wake up every few hours to get a drink, and need to self-soothe enough to fall back to sleep."

– morosecoyote

"My oldest daughter slept through the night very easily at around 4 months. It used to freak me out, I thought something had to be wrong when I woke up with a full night's sleep and went to go get her up in the morning. My next 2... Not so much."

– kikazztknmz

What's In A Word?

"'6am in the morning' - WHAT DO YOU THINK THE AM IS FOR?!?!"

– West_Isopod_9706

"Don’t forget ATM machines."

– l3randon_x

It's Psychological

"'Just be yourself' After years of that advice I found out they meant to be confident. Well, hell, I was being confident, but I was being confidently weird."

"I needed to stop being weird. That was what I was doing wrong."

"ETA -"

"When I say stop being weird I mean that I demonstrated no social skills I would:"

-" Refer to my ex-wife as my ex-wife when telling stories that involved her instead of 'a friend and I' when it was relevant there was someone else in the story but not her relationship to me."

"- Tell people all about my family dramas as easily as people talk about the weather making it sound like my life is nothing but drama which it isn't."

"- Say I was looking for something serious making people think that I was one day from proposing. Which no. I'm not Teddy I don't have the thrills for the Pils and ew weirdo."

"I'm still weird in that I love and am open about collecting cartoons from my childhood and loving to play modded Skyrim. But I've learned the social skills I need to not freak people out with how intense I can get about things."

– jackfaire

"I think it’s often meant don’t try to emulate someone else for whatever shallow reason. I’ve seen lots of younger people copy their friend's mannerisms or try to act like a movie character, and it’s just kinda cringy and gets you nowhere."

"At least if you’re being who you’re comfortable being, you won’t ever wind up caught up with people you don’t gel with."

– I_Made_it_All_Up

Cash Value

“Money can’t buy happiness”

– Royalchariot

“Money can’t buy you happiness. But it can buy you a Jetski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a Jetski?”

"-Daniel Tosh"

– dave7673

"I refer you to the infamous philosopher/poet/architect/accordion savant of our time."

"'If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it'- Weird Al Yankovich."

– Jmen4Ever

"Hell, I will even say that money can help you find love. And not in a 'land a gold digger' kind of way either."

"Money can get you better fitting clothes, access to more activities to go out, exposure to more people, ensure a greater statistical chance of meeting someone, and not constrain you to the limitations of a tight impoverished budget where even dating is an existential threat to your ability to meet your meager financial obligations."

"Money can help buy you love."

– dbx999

Annoying Misinterpretation

" 'Oh, i thought you were having fun.' When i ask what time we are leaving from somewhere."

"I am. I did not ask you to leave. I am asking WHAT TIME are we leaving. All i want is an idea of how to manage my time."

– Moist_Fail_9269

"Unfortunately, a lot of people aren't direct, and asking about the time is their passive-aggressive way of indicating they're not having fun."

– esoteric_enigma

Head In The Clouds

“Shoot for the moon; even if you fail, you’ll land among the stars.”

"Distance to moon: 238,900 miles."

"Distance to nearest star: 91.545 MILLION miles."

– HubertCumberda1e

"Once you're out of Earth's gravitational pull though, wouldn't your corpse just keep drifting due to inertia and eventually end up 'among the stars'? Assuming your trajectory was towards the sun, how close do you think your body could get before getting vaporized?"

– Ok_Copy_9462

Some phrases just don't make sense at all.

Dramatic Turn

"Example : someone goes from nice to mean."

"They did a 360"

"No. It's a 180."

– Awkward_Voice_Inside

"An old train wreck of a person I used to party with posted that he was making a full 360 in his life and packing up and moving across the country with some guy he just met and married."

"I commented and was like 'oh hunny, you mean a 180.' ”

"6 months later, he wrecked his car, was arrested on a bunch of drug charges, the guy left him, and he was back to trying to scam people with black market puppies. I went back to my comment and replied 'Ope! Never mind, you did mean 360! Congrats!' ”

"It was worth the block."

– coulsonsrobohand

Malaprops Are Fun

"For all intensive purposes 🙄"

– Kingsnake417

"This one, and 'nip it in the butt' 😬"

– PaymentFeisty7633

"Taken for granite."

"Chester drawers."

– Uberpastamancer

Unrelatable

"Happy as a clam."

"The original was happy as a clam at high tide."

– cheesepage

"My paleontology professor HATED that phrase. 'CLAMS DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!' Haha! Quickest way to rile him up. Ah memories!"

– thegothotter

Power Trip

"Pre-K teacher here—'Because I said so.' Worst reason a teacher/parent/adult can give to a child for anything. Children need to know there’s a reason for any restrictions you might put on them, so that caution or value can be taught."

“ 'Because I said so.' Is a cheap, power-infused statement that doesn’t teach any life lessons other than some people will try to use their authority to control you with no deserved explanation or reason. And those people suck."

– Mike_Wobb

It's One Or The Other

" 'Go big or go home.' Everyday the only true objective I have is to make it home alive or not be at work."

– blasterone

"It's generally a sports phrase isn't it? Basically translates to 'If you're not playing to win, why play?', probably more 'If you're not playing to the best of your ability, then let someone who will.' "

– Salzberger

Okay, this is a little unclean, but when one has to go do a number 2, they say they have to "take" a [💩] when they're actually dropping it off.

Why can't we announce that we have to go "leave" a [💩]?

I personally prefer the British way of articulating this. A friend from the UK once told me, "Please excuse me, but I must go. For I am touching cloth."