Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

There Is Now An 'Aquaman' Sex Toy On The Market—And We've Officially Seen It All 😮

There Is Now An 'Aquaman' Sex Toy On The Market—And We've Officially Seen It All 😮
Twitter: @RegalMovies

As of this writing, there are just SIX shopping days remaining until Christmas, and everyone has that one person on their list who's impossible to shop for. After all, what DO you buy for the comic book nerd/sex fiend who has everything?!


An Australian company has you covered, just in time for the big day, with the ultimate sexy nerd gift: the Aquaman dildo. Geeky Sex Toys to the rescue! Called the "AquaMoan Silicone Dildo" because, when it comes to comic book-movie-themed fake weiners, it's best to get right to the point, the sex toy features a scaly texture, a green-and-yellow color scheme reminiscent of the film, and curves that give Aquaman star Jason Momoa a run for his money. (No word on how it competes with Momoa's other features.)


Anyway, here is what it looks like and I just don't know what else to tell you...

Also, "Let the King of the Seven Seas swim into the deepest darkest depths of your downstairs" is a piece of writing that has inspired me to find a new line of work because I will never write anything so magnificent.

Except maybe this: With the Aquaman film going a bit limp at the box office, the AquaMoan is offering some stiff competition!

Anyway, the dildo costs $81 Australian, so about $61 American, and is part of a limited edition of just 500 scaly, aquatic phalluses, so get yours while you can. Aquaman not what gets you going? No worries! Geeky Sex Toys also has toys themed after Avengers, Star Wars and Guardians of the Galaxy (subtly named "Orgasms of the Galaxy") to satisfy your every desire. Don't miss the Deadpool collection, whose name I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to type here.

As you might expect, social media users had some reactions to this new product.












In conclusion, I have no idea how to end this piece except to say have yourself a scaly little Christmas, and I can't apologize enough for typing that!

More from Entertainment

Audra McDonald
@audramcdonald/Instagram

Audra McDonald Speaks Out After Autograph-Seeking Fan Followed Her Home—And People Are Horrified

Broadway legend and recent star of Gypsy Audra McDonald unfortunately finished the show's run on a sour note, as she informed fans on her Instagram.

The Tony-winning actor and singer, 55, started by explaining that the "stage door" practice, where Broadway actors exit through a side door of the theater to greet fans and sign autographs, is common but not expected or required. Some actors love to do it, others would rather not, and she stressed that there are countless reasons an actor might choose not to on any given night.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from Victor Nieves' videos
@notvictornieves/TikTok; @goodtrouble/TikTok

MAGA TikToker Gets Brutally Dragged After Tired 'Slippery Slope' Rant About Gay Marriage

The moment many LGBTQ+ people have warned about seems to be dawning as Kim Davis, the infamous Kentucky clerk who went to jail over refusing to process same-sex marriages, has resurfaced.

Now out of jail, Davis is asking the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell v Hodges, the case that granted the right to same-sex marriage in 2015 and the violation of which landed Davis in jail.

Keep ReadingShow less
Riley Gaines
Ivan Apfel/Getty Images

Riley Gaines Blasted After Calling Trump Critics 'Domestic Terrorists' In Unhinged Tweet

Fading MAGA darling Riley Gaines found herself facing irrelevance like all the blond "it girls" before her that were once embraced then discarded by MAGA Republican President Donald Trump's followers, like Ann Coulter, Megyn Kelly, Kellyanne Conway, Tomi Lahren, and Kaitlin Bennett.

If that last name made you say, "Who‽," then you know what Gaines is facing.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jinkx Monsoon
Good Morning America/YouTube

Trans Actor Jinkx Monsoon Expertly Shades MAGA Lawmakers Who Are Trying To 'Rewrite History'

In a very timely off-the-cuff response, Broadway performer Jinkx Monsoon called out MAGA GOP lawmakers and Republican President Donald Trump for their attempts to whitewash history.

Speaking to Good Morning America about her star turn as the lead in Cole Escola’s Tony Award-winning hit Broadway show Oh, Mary!, the hosts proposed a rapid-fire game that they titled "Oh, Jinkx!."

Keep ReadingShow less
Person raising their hands in excitement
Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash

People Who Turned Their Lives Around After Age 35 Share How They Did It

There's this weird pressure in the world to know what you're going to do with your life when you're between 18 and 20, work hard to get it, and then be satisfied with that for the rest of your life. But for many people, they're not in a position to attain their dream life when they're 20 years out.

That said, it's never too late to get a fresh start, even when you're around the middle of your life.

Keep ReadingShow less