Grandpa

My grandpa said he has no idea why anyone would drink Modelo cause you have no idea what those Mexicans are putting in it.

-Lamesauce59

There was wide spread panic a few decades ago about Corona being made from or infused with piss from the Mexican brewery workers. Corona was rapidly becoming the #1 best selling imported beer in America and its competitors started making up the peepee rumors to slow it down.

The lie was surprisingly wide spread and less surprisingly, unquestionably believed by American consumers and did significantly impact coronas sales.

-THOTcrimeAccount

Grandma

My grandma said "they call it black Friday because you're poor after it"

-LintyTheLard

My wife's uncle said, "I can't believe we can still call it Black Friday. I figured someone would have taken offence to that by now and raised a stink about it."

-producer35

N-word

"turn off that n-word music!"

There was a long pause while all the family awkwardly took in his racism, the only response was one cousin noting, "... But it's Kid Rock..."

-Sufficient_Cat

The real problem here is someone is playing f*cking Kid Rock

-Awwh_dood

Thanksgiving 

A few Thanksgivings ago Grandma was really upset because of gay marriage. And I quote, "Now they will be allowed to breed."

Just let that sink in my friends.

-rakshala

That kid in third grade was right, babies do come out of the butt!

-banannixx

Minnesota

Wow, what a perfect thread. My uncle went off today.

He's very conspiracy theory heavy, and this time apparently the "sand-*******" are going to start coming from over the hills and he will be ready to shoot. When I asked where they were going to be coming from he instantly responded with a dead-serious "Minnesota"

-RitsuFromDC-

Minnesotan here, can confirm that this is definitely the truth

-Sub3arthling

Wouldn't that make them middle western terrorists?

-spacemanspiff30

Suck d* ck

My uncle asked me (21M) if I "liked to suck d*ck" because I got my ears pierced.

-TheJBerry

Neighborhood

"How safe is your neighborhood?" "I'm not sure." "Have you met your neighbors? Are they white?"

-Hlodvogovich

Had a neighbor move in next to me. Fortunately. she is long gone now. But within the first few sentences of just meeting her, she asked me if I could point out where "the blacks live."

Um, we have a pretty mixed area here. Everybody is everywhere. And right at that moment, I could honestly not differentiate one house from another. They kinda look the same, it's not like they have a plaque to identify which houses have "the blacks."

-TigLyon

Porn

My grandma said to my cousin and her girlfriend "you know, that's my son's favorite type of porn."

-Bantam123456

I reread this multiple time and kept finding so many things wrong there...

-SwiftCEO

Turkey

My cousin said that the dark meat on the turkey is only worth 3/5ths of the white meat.

-nazrak

Most of the racists in my family would not have been educated enough to get this joke.

-Darth_Corleone

Muslim

(Aunt) There is now a muslim woman in a head scarf sitting near at work and she feels all tense and anxious now cause "who knows whats going in her head?"

-samtizhopablya

...like the hijab covers up the telepathy port or something?

-acceptablemadness