Try as they might, no parent is going to be a perfect parent 100% of the time.
The difference is the accountability a parent takes when it's pointed out to them that they have messed up.
In a series of videos, Steph the Attachment Therapist on TikTok recently offered feedback to Millennial and Boomer parents, pointing out the key behavior that could impact their relationships with their children.
And the reactions to these videos were nothing short of eye-opening.
In the first video, Steph specifically addressed Millennial parents and the key behavior she believed would "f**k up their kids."
Being the generation that grew up alongside the rise of the internet and cellphones and the dawn of social media like MySpace and Facebook, it stands to reason that a key concern for parents in this generation would be spending too much time on their phones.
The attachment therapist pointed out that children of these parents would more likely have to fight harder for attention but would likely lose to the parent's screen time, which would send the message that they were not a top priority.
You can watch the Millennial parenting video here:
Heartwarmingly, most Millennial parents commented on the video to take accountability and seeking ways to do better.
Pleased with how this video went over, Steph recorded a follow-up video, this time focusing on Boomer parents.
According to Steph, Millennial parents are likely to have distant moments with their kids because of their attachment to technology, whereas Boomer parents are likely to distance themselves from their kids because of their lack of accountability.
It's a frequent feature in the parent-child dynamic for a child to try to voice their emotions only to be shut down by their Boomer parent, with the parent deflecting their behaviors back onto their child and blaming the child for their actions. This often leads these now adult children to not emotionally share with their parents, or to even go fully no contact with them.
You can watch the Boomer parenting video here:
True to the video, the Boomers in the comments deflected their behavior and did not take accountability.
After seeing the comments, Steph had to come back and do a video on the accidental "social experiment" she'd conducted in the comments sections of these videos.
Millennials have become known as the generation that wants to pursue therapy for self-improvement and to break generational curses, while Boomers are often seen as a generation of narcissists, because of their habits of deflecting their behaviors onto other people and otherwise calling younger people "snowflakes" for trying to do better.
It's unfortunate to see this because when the Millennial parents used Steph's video as a tool to improve their parenting, the Boomer parents just acted as examples of what Steph was talking about in her Boomer video.
After Steph posted the "social experiment" video, most of the Boomer comments in the earlier video were deleted, but she was able to screenshot some in her video.
You can watch her video about the accidental "social experiment" here:
All parents are going to mess up from time to time because they're human, and that is okay.
Again, the difference is that they do what they can to correct the mistake and take accountability for their actions.
Children who see their parents be human and accountable are more likely to stay in those relationships, rather than feel like they are responsible for their parents' behavior and feelings.
Definitely some food for thought.