People Who Sleep Naked Describe The Times It Backfired—And Oof

I make it a habit to travel with nice pajamas that I don't mind having other people see.

One reason why is because years ago on a business trip to St. Louis, Missouri, one of the other hotels near where we were staying had a minor fire in the middle of the night.

The news was filled with pictures and video of people standing on the sidewalk outside the hotel in various stages of dress and undress. Raggedy drawers, stained t-shirts, and many in just towels or a bed sheet.

Nope!

If I'm going to be on camera, I'm going to look presentable. Nice pajamas for all hotel stays for me.

Reddit user Low_Theme_5278 asked:

"People who sleep naked, when has it ever backfired?"

Wrong Apartment

"Forgot to lock my front door. I lived in an apartment complex across the street from a bar. Air conditioning was on the fritz, so I slept naked and sheetless."

" Woke up to some lady screaming at me."

"Turns out she lived upstairs and was too drunk to realize she was on the wrong floor and just barged into my apartment, beelined to the bedroom and turned on the lights."

"Once she stopped screaming and let me talk, she realized she was in the wrong place and left. I spent a bit winding down from whatever the heck that was and then went back to sleep."

"Later she apologized to me and somehow it wasnt weird? We were reasonably amicable neighbors after that."

~ d3rp_diggler

News At 11

"Apartment building caught on fire. I had just enough time to grab my spouse's robe (which was missing the tie) and run outside with an infant and toddler.

"News crew showed up."

"My kids are trying to crawl into my robe because they're scared. Definitely flashed more people that day than I would have liked."

~ garbagegoat

Cookie Crime

"Was sleeping in the nude during university and a burglar came in. He didn’t think anyone was home because it was spring break, but I had stayed."

"He opened my door, saw me, apologized, then took a bag of cookies I had and my roommate's Nikes. I couldn’t run after him because, well, I was naked."

~ redditkarma_dotcom

Probably Not As Shocked As They Were

"Back in my church youth group going days, they had this tradition where they would drive to the new kids' houses and 'kidnap' them in the morning, throwing them in the church van with all the other kids, and take us to a nice homemade breakfast together."

"Well, middle school me had no idea about this tradition, and was rather shocked when I woke up to 8 of my peers, my youth pastor, and my mom all circled around my bed throwing off my covers."

"I still sleep naked today."

~ sterling757

Shook Up

"During an earthquake, I ran out of the house naked."

"No one seemed to notice as they were more concerned about themselves. And the earthquake."

~ abcohen916

Show Time

"While on tour with a show, I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Half asleep, I made my way to the bathroom."

"It wasn’t until I heard the click of the door behind me that I realized I had just stepped out into the hallway. I locked myself out of the hotel room because I had followed our previous hotel's layout."

"Thankfully, it was the dead of night, and the only person I had to face was the front desk clerk, who didn’t laugh too hard."

~ createch

Could Be Worse

"Got our house broken into and held at gunpoint."

"Yup, definitely worse with your d*ck out."

~ ND-98

Spider-Man

"Got bitten on my penis by a spider while asleep. Nothing major, just a big red lump for a few days."

"I should’ve never told my mates, though… ‘Spider Dick’ caught on very quickly."

~ BigBoy-LoyLoy

"Did you start shooting webs?"

~ here4astolfo

Double Whammy

"I used to sleepwalk all of the time, especially after drinking. One night I wandered out of my room and into my roommate (and also brother’s) room."

"I flipped the lights on and proceeded to take a leak directly onto his floor and in his shoe."

"After learning about what I had done, apologizing, and buying him new shoes, he let me know the only reason he didn’t get up and physically stop me was because he was sleeping naked, too."

"Welp, it backfired on both of us that night."

~ Ok-Growth4134

Who Thought This Was A Good Idea‽‽

"My high school for marching band would wake you up really early to get doughnuts before band practice. They had to stop it because originally they called it 'kidnapping', and a family whose first language wasn't English freaked the hell out. "

"I digress, though."

"Not me, but this one gal, nude sleeper like the rest of yall. It was her turn to get kidnapped by the band. She also slept with a knife, just in case. She had no idea what was coming."

"So I don't think anyone was expecting to wake up this petite girl, only for her to spring out of bed brandishing a knife at them while in the nude."

~ Admirable_Ad8900

Ouch!

"New kitten decided the dangling bit was a toy..."

"Not a fun way to wake up."

~ Synisterintent

"Not as bad as 'full-grown, fully clawed cat makes leap from floor directly to crotch'. Hell of a way to wake up."

~ dangerbearNL

"I had my morning tent pounced on with all four paws wrapped around it in a death grip with a chomp on the tip."

"In all his years with me, that was the only time he ever scratched me or bit me."

~ H8erRaider

One Time

"One time I woke up in the middle of the night to our infant child crying. I got up to take care of the baby, and as I pass the stairwell, I see my mother-in-law watching me walk by. I was too tired to care."

~ BandDirector17

"We had a conversation with my mother-in-law when she came to help with our infant for this exact reason. 'Look, we’re all exhausted. We know we’re going to see sides of each other we haven’t seen. Let’s just roll with it'."

~ TactusThanatus00

Nope!

"I stayed inside my house during an earthquake because I sleep naked."

"I didn’t have any clothes at hand when it started, so I decided I'd rather die under a pile of rubble than run outside in front of all my neighbors naked, even though my parents were shouting at me to get out of the house."

~ Cautious-Mistake-919

Loch Less Monster

"Locked my self out of my hotel room by going through the wrong in Scotland. Luckily I found a small towel outside a room to cover my bits."

"The guy at the front desk goes in a very strong Scottish accent, 'Och dinnae worry, I’ve seen a lot more with a lot less'."

~ BCNacct

Family Matters

"Heard the front door close, and whispering then footsteps coming up the stairs. Woke up and thought, f*ck it—nothing will be more scary to a robber than a big naked man running at them to bash their head in."

"Waited for them to reach the top of the stairs, whipped the bedroom door open and ran naked with my fist raised back, straight at my sister-in-law."

"She screamed, 'What the f*ck are you doing!' I stopped and yelled, 'What the f*ck are you doing!' She screamed, 'Dropping your daughter off, she had a nightmare. Can you cover your junk!'."

"I had forgotten that my daughter was having a sleepover at her Auntie's place, and this was a possibility. We all laughed."

"I slinked back into the bedroom, and my wife (in hysterics) took over while I quickly dressed myself."

~ XxBluesShadowxX

Do you or would you ever sleep nude? Why or why not? Any mishaps because of sleeping au naturel?