People Explain What Made Them Cut Off A Good Friend

There can't be selfishness involved in healthy friendships.

All About Them

"I don't like quantifying friendships, but for one I noticed that the other person would almost always exclusively talk about themselves, always with a tone of doing a favor, or being a privilege, or wanting something."

"I added up how many times they asked me how I was doing, and I had counted 2 times this year. On one occurrence, I mentioned this and they said 'Yeah, I don't.' and continued talking about themselves."

"I slowly stopped putting in the effort, and things have naturally drifted apart. Super sucks, but I would rather friendships/relationships to be a 2 way street."

– SgtTamama

Strapped For Cash

"They got mad when I didn’t give them $5000."

– chief_sitass

Effects Of Negativity

"She was just toxic. Did nothing but complain every time we talked or hung out. The final straw is when I had my mental breakdown and she tried to make it about her. Negativity is so mentally draining."

– Elleseebee928

It takes two to make friendships work, just like relationships.

The Initiator

"Being the only one to reach out. Once I stopped, the friendship was basically cut off."

– Magister_Hego_Damask

Blame The Virus

"Yeah I think a lot of relationships fizzled through the pandemic. There were just too many people to actively reach out to that I never heard from."

"I will say in the past two years I've reconnected with a couple of them, but not many."

– 1CEninja

Maturity Rate

"Essentially this."

"Been carrying these friendships since high-school and I can count on my fingers the amount of times they've reached out to me to make plans."

"Generally I was the one who asked to do things, and once I stopped doing that I realized it could go weeks without hearing from them."

"Secondly, I also matured."

"Some people are hell bent on living like they're in college, and also could not take any criticism."

"Always someone else fault, and 'I'm not lazy' though actions have spoken way louder than words could ever."

– Nova_Mafia

Some people are just plain mean.

Name-Calling

"super spoiled, but the final straw was him telling me (and others present) that his grandmother was a stupid f'king b*tch for booking his flight back from coachella so early. 'obviously i’m going to be f'king hungover' after she paid for his flight to l.a, and lodging in a fancy l.a hotel for a few days before the festival."

"literally made me ill."

– sweetperdition

"Posh Guy"

"I used to play guitar with my old friend from my town, just 2 guys playing crap and having the time of their lives. I meet another guy who was into bands and stuff so we started hanging out more often the three of us. Me, my good old pal and this new guy (boyfriend of a girl friend of mine from highschool). The new guy was from rich parents, expensive 'everything', good with the guitar and a bit over the top I-know-most-of-the-things kinda guy."

"Not the best, not the worst, not evil but definetly not a simple cool, nice guy... just a posh smart a**. One day the posh guy asked me to go to play guitar with his friends and i say, yeah, lets go. I let my old buddy know what time i was being picked up by car and all good. The posh guy came first with his car, i step in and when i saw he didnt wait for my old buddy i let him know he was coming."

"His face changed dramatically, like if i had dropped some really bad news. So he drive me around and gave me this speech about my good old friend not being invited today for the music jam and 'i didnt said his name, so he is not invited' and bla, bla, bla."

"We actually passed in front of where we were meeting and i saw him, my good old friend there, waiting for us with his guitar and his smile not knowing we were right there in the car, talking about him like he wasnt important, and then i felt like crying, sitting in the car with the posh guy giving me sh*t because i was doing the same than we were doing those days, get people together and play music while getting baked and have a great time."

"It felt like he was making me have to make a decision about them in that moment. After we picked him up you can imagine how fake was the whole evening. Posh guy pissed off, my old pal smiling and playing guitar and having a good time and me there trying to smile and just checking the clock waiting to go home. Funny thing, I already made my mind in the car. I was born in 1979, i would play 'kill'em all' album before any nu metal ever made, thats a principle."

"So after that, i never called the posh guy again, never returned his calls, i lost any interest for him or spending time with him. Nothing, zero. Not even a call to say oh sorry man, ive been busy, yeah we should meet again. I just keep spending the evenings with my good old friend, doing the same we always do."

"A few months after i told him the story. He just laughed and said oh, what a d*ckhead. Since then, i feel so proud of having him as a friend and, and even if im not the best person, son, boyfriend and friend of the people around me, and im not feeling the best with myself neither, i actually feel i did the right thing in that moment and that puts a smile on my face every time."

– Donjuanisit

I've personally never cut off friendships, but the reason why there are people I don't speak to anymore is very common.

People grow apart. It's just a part of life.

Many of us have relocated for a new job, for college, or other life circumstances that prevent us from maintaining our relationships with those we've left behind.

But what I've found pleasantly surprising are the ones I've managed to somehow get back in touch with and pick up right where we left off–with time and distance not having affected our friendship.

Those are the ones I treasure. Skipping town doesn't necessarily mean the end. Not in this day and age of social media.