People Describe The Most Insane Person They've Ever Actually Met

The personalities mentioned here included a guy with bizarre anecdotes – including one where half his tongue grew back after it was somehow cut off; a highly intelligent mother who thought masturbating was worse than hiring a sex worker; and a worshiper of the lead singer from Evanescence with whom he was convinced they were astral lovers. What is crazy really?

The One Who Openly Masturbated

"My (now) wife's coworker called her up in the middle of the night because she'd been kicked out about 10 yrs ago. So we go to pick her up, tell her she can stay a few days while she makes a plan."

"Two months later she had refused to leave, started dating the alcoholic neighbor, stolen $600 from our savings box (we were stupid 20 year olds), gotten into a fist fight with my brother in law over a pack of cigarettes, and openly pleasured themselves on the couch while we had company over."

"We moved out and left her there. Police called us a few months later. The neighbor she had been dating had been shot and killed and they couldn't find her. Never heard from/of her again."

– neue_aspasia

Spared For Liking Pie

"Ex-roommate Jay. He told me gruesome details about how he strangled a man to death while serving in the military. He talked very loudly to himself about my body while I was in the room as if I couldn't hear him. Told me I could do crystal meth in my room, if I wanted, that's none of his business. Locked my dog in his room to sleep with him because I was 'neglecting' her. Lost his ever loving sh*t because I didn't eat a meal that he just left out on the counter but decided he wouldn't kill me because I like pie."

"I lived there for 5 days."

– queen83cca

He Slapped A Woman With A Ham Sandwich

"I used to work with a guy who would tell the most bizarre stories, far too many to list them all here. One of the first he told me was about how he rode his little blue scooter to a biker bar and all of these big biker guys with their Harley's thought my coworker was the funniest, coolest guy, and invited him to ride his scooter with their gang that night, so they rode around town, letting my coworker ride point. He told another where his friend, a military vet, got a PS4 (this took place years, and years ago) and a handful of games from Sony as a part of some secret military veteran appreciation thing, and that my coworker got to play it; the weird thing being he told this story over a year before PS4's were released to the public."

"Another time he talked about how he went to a strip club, got really drunk, ripped a picture off the wall and threw it at the DJ, bit a bouncer, and then got up on the stage and began dancing/stripping, at which point the crowd of dudes (who were there to watch women strip) began cheering for him and encouraging him to strip; he ended up breaking the stripper pole, but wasn't kicked out because the owner thinks he's hilarious and really likes him. I could go on, there's a story about a him slapping a woman with a ham sandwich, or about him drunk driving a company vehicle and crashing into a building but getting away with it when someone took the fall for him, or how half his tongue was cut off but it grew back completely because of steroids. Never knew what would come out of his mouth."

– WriterFighter201

Obsessed With Amy Lee

"An Amy Lee worshipper. I met him through an old friend. We were at a bar."

"He said I reminded him of her and asked if I liked her."

"I didn't, but he still tried to get me to join him in singing evanescence songs with him."

"He would always comment on my clothes if he thought it looked like something Amy would wear. And ask where I got it. He was very anti social and seldom left his apartment unless to go to bars."

"My friend felt bad for him. So we went to his place once because it was his birthday and he was spending it alone."

"We walk in, Amy was every where and on nearly everything."

"He was shirtless, showing countless Amy Lee tattoos all over his arms and torso."

"Amy in every room, even the bathroom. It was scary. He even had a shrine for her in his bedroom that he showed to us as if it were totally normal."

"He would also dress up like her when he was home alone."

"He asked if it would be okay if he changed back into his Amy clothes. He did."

"Then offered some to me to try on. I did not."

"He fully believed Amy knew he loved her, and they were astral lovers. That the songs she was singing were about their love. But he never wanted to meet her in real life because his physical body was ugly, but his astral body was handsome and fit."

"In his mind he could never have more of her than what he had. He said if she knew what he really looked like she would never meet up with his astral self again."

"I left after he got sloppy drunk and got out a sex doll that he dressed up like Amy, and sat her at the table with us to play cards."

– Sh3wh01smystr3y

He Worshiped Her, No Doubt

"A guy I knew from work was almost like that with Gwen Stefani. He was a good dude, fun to drink with, and we hung out occasionally at bars. One time I went to meet him at his place, it was a shared apartment so he could only decorate his room, but his room was 100% Gwen Stefani pictures. Like from big posters to magazine cutouts. All four walls and parts of the ceiling too. He never mentioned his deep love for her or no doubt. I was taken aback, for real. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing at all. Neither did he. Going forward I still hung out with him but never went to his place again, and for what it's worth I never mentioned his Gwen shrine to anyone at work."

– ekko_suns

Manipulative Klepto

"My ex-best friend/housemate."

"She stole from me for months and tried to pin it on my other housemate. She claimed her things were getting stolen too and even went as far as buying a lock to her door to prove her point. When I found out it was her, and not in fact my other housemate, I took my stuff back and she threw a whole fit about how our house had so many thieves. She then went on to put a security camera in her room, when she knew damn well nobody was stealing anyone's stuff except her. She was overall really manipulative and caused so much hate between my other housemate and I, because she convinced us both it was the other stealing our things."

– pinkiea

Super Manipulative, Biggest Bully, Aspiring YouTuber & Cries On Command

"Ex roommate. She was around 45. Desperately wanted to be a big YouTuber. Was constantly pushing the camera in people's face. She had this crazy relationship with her mother. She couldn't do anything without calling and asking for permission. She was one of the biggest bullies I've ever met. Super manipulative too. The could cry on command. She tried bossing me around, telling me who I could date and who I couldn't. She was waaaay too invested in my sex life. One day she just started screaming and crying because I didn't clean behind HER toilet. I ended up having enough and leaving. She and her friends ended up cyberstalking me and harassing me to this day. Some people are just freaking nuts."

– AFrustratedOptimist

"The One"

"In the neighborhood where I grew up, there was a lady who always wore the same black dress and would walk the streets at random hours, day or night. No one knew where she lived, and she never looked at anyone/anything. One day in high school, I thought I was some badas** and I walked up to her and just said 'hi.' She stopped, looked at me, and said 'you are the one,' then kept walking."

"Her."

– RichardEnergySr

Reincarnated Rock Star

"I had a roommate who thought he was Kurt Cobain reincarnated, and thought one of my female friends was some version of Courtney Love? And he wrote her long letters and sh*t and basically terrified her completely. Really sad situation, he was obviously schizophrenic or had some other serious issues. He eventually ended up on the streets and I don't know what happened to him."

– chinchillah_killah

Mom Approved Of Hiring Hookers

"Possibly my mom. She suffered from delusions, was highly intelligent, and had no empathy. She would tell us things like 'your brother is going to be a prophet' or 'it's a greater sin to masturbate than to hire a sex worker.' This was mixed in with random abuse, moving every six weeks or so, and being left on my own at a very young age with no food or shelter."

"She really seemed with it when you first met her, though."

– throwawaytrumper