Parents Describe The Times They Forced Themselves Not To Laugh While Punishing Their Kids

Busted 4-Year-Old

"Me: What were you thinking?"

"4 year old son: That I wouldn't get caught."

– passwordsarehard_3

Portable Toilet

"My husband yelled up from downstairs: 'Why is there a bunch of water in the trashcan?'"

"My four year old proudly announced: 'Because I peed in it!'"

– Konstantynopolitancz

The All-Nighters

"Charging into their bedroom when they're supposed to be sleeping and watching them scatter like cockroaches back to their beds....I die laughing inside EVERY time."

– Vierlind

"This is my move too. Sometimes I sit and wait for them to notice me. The surprise/ fear to panic to guilt transition in there face is almost slow motion. Then without saying a word I leave the room knowing they are going to sleep and I have once again confirmed that I am a Ninja."

– McNiinja

Sticking Around

"I'm a parent, but this wasn't with my son, it was my younger brother when we were 10 and 11. We had two older sisters who were drama queens and would always threaten to run away when they got in trouble. So this one day my brother and I got into trouble and as our Dad started scolding us my brother looked straight at him and in all seriousness said, 'I won't run away. I'm going to stay here forever and never leave. You'll never get rid of me.' Our Dad turned around, walked out of the room and started laughing. He was laughing so much he couldn't even explain to our Mom what was so funny. We only got grounded for the day. Thanks little bro!"

– msjg

Vilifying Big Sis

"My sister used to start fights with me in public so I would act silly making everyone in eyesight think she was the absolute devil. One time I did it and said 'dont hit me again sister' in the most offensively retarded voice like Arnie from Gilbert grape and security stepped in. I kept up the act and they paged my parents to the store office. Basically said 'your daughter was attacking your son and it was really disturbing' My dad had to scold me in the parking lot through tears of laughter hardly able to keep his balance while my sister was basically traumatized."

– suitology

Potty Mouth

"My then 5-year-old son and I were watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. During the part of the movie where the machine creates a spaghetti tornado hurling giant meatballs, my son's facial expression completely changed as he watched his favorite food being thrown about. He turns to me, dead serious, and says 'oh my f'king goodness". I died."

– pnutbutterkellytime

Wrong Target

"I'm a preschool teacher, and part of my job is potty training. In our bathroom the trash can is across from the toilet, about four feet away."

"A little boy, just turned 3, sits down to go and forgets to point his penis down. He starts peeing and it's a direct arch straight into the trash can."

"Little dude goes: 'What the f'k?'"

"I had to step out of the room to recover from cry laughing."

– obsolete16

Not A 'Shell Fish'

"I was telling my daughter who was 5 at the time she was being selfish for not sharing she burst out crying and said I am not a shell fish! Couldn't stop laughing but she kept crying saying but I'm not a shell fish"

– RonaTheFerret

Appropriate Quote

"My wife and I and our 2-year-old son just got home from a long day of traveling, and he needs a diaper change. My wife is exhausted and not in the best mood. The TV is on playing the show Law and Order, on a cable network that had the tagline at the time of 'We know drama.' (So for instance, when the commercials would segue back to the show, they would first say 'the drama continues...')"

"So he's a happy little kid, getting his diaper changed, enjoying the attention, and got playful and silly and was kicking around and generally not cooperating with my wife. She lost her temper and snarled something like 'I swear if you don't stop squirming around so help me...'"

"There was a pause. Then he said:"

"'The drama continues...'"

– TomK

Contaminated Muffin

"Not a parent but a career nanny. I had a kid come up and ask if he could have a snack. I said not right now, youre supposed to be in bed. Not 5 minutes later I see him Kronk-style tip toeing across the kitchen with a conspicuous bulge in his pajamas. He sees me watching him and startles, causing a blueberry muffin to fall out of the ankle of one pant leg. I was already close to laughing but I about died when he said 'Cant I at least have it since it already touched my junk?'"

– dune_jhodacia

Angry Boy

My sister used to be a speech therapist in elementary schools. One of her students got mad at her for something. That day, she was helping get the kids on the school busses to go home. AngryBoy gets on the bus, made eye contact with her through the window, flipped her off and mouthed "F**k you!" at her. Cursing in public was one of the things they were working on, believe it or not. She told me the story and we had a good laugh."

– treetablebenchgrass

Fearless Daughter

"The second day at a new school, my 6th grade daughter dropped another girl who had slapped her at lunch. It was witnessed by school admin but the kid on the ground tried to say that she didn't slap my daughter first. She said 'if I hit her then why am I the one crying?' to which my daughter responded 'because I'm not a p*ssy!"

"This was relayed to me by my daughter while she was on speaker phone in the assistant principal's office. She did not edit her language."

– dpcaxx

Not Ready For Bed

"When my nephews were like 3 or 4, I was staying with my bro. Kids had been put to bed, but were being reluctant about it, and goofing off instead. My SIL finally gets them both into their beds, and their sister is asleep."

"We're all on the couch watching TV for about 5 minutes before they both come flying into the room, and one of them sticks his pointer fingers in the air, and states 'no. Not going to bed. No way, no how!' And they both proceed to run back down the hallway howling with laughter."

"My brother and I were too far gone laughing ourselves to be of any use, so my SIL follows them, but comes back to report that they were both in bed passed out already. Must have been their last little burst of energy and the laughing wore them out. We all laughed for a good 5 minutes."

"This was over 15 years ago, but I still laugh every time I remember his stubborn little face while he was yelling at us."

– Emmyisme

Word Of The Day

"When I challenged my 5 year old after hitting me, he looked me square in the eyes and said 'mosquito'."

– bcallas

Soup Talk

"This JUST happened tonight."

"We're trying to expand our 4 y.o grandson's diet."

"So I told him we made 'Frog Soup'. (Pea soup)"

"He said 'No it's not coz frogs wouldn't make soup outta their friends'!"

– GenieInABottle1985