People Share Their Craziest 'How Do You NOT Know How To Do This?' Experience

Yes, That is Part of the Home

"When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it's starting to look like weeds."

"It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone."

-- theantpantsdance

Way Too Casual About Microbes

"Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. He was cool to just...go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak."

"Same guy also thought his sheets wouldn't fit in the washing machine so he just...never washed them."

"When I asked him please not drop silverware down the garbage disposal and leave it he said I had too many house rules."

-- GotGhostsInMyBlood

Just Saved Her a LOT of Money on Vacuums

"My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month. I asked her what was wrong with it and she said 'It's not picking things up anymore!' "

"So I asked if she had dumped out the container... she didn't know that was a thing."

-- Winterlight8044

"EXPECTorant"

"I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT. I've used it occasionally, when I've been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn't seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said 'well, I think I'm getting sick.' "

"I pressed further and he said 'because it's an expectorant. It turns out he thought 'you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick.' "

Clearly Not a Sailor

"I had to teach my friend how to tie his shoes, he either wore velcro or tucked the laces into the shoe up until that point." -- Camelllama666

"My mom wouldn't buy me velcro shoes until I demonstrated that I could tie laces if needed." -- Dyolf_Knip

"TBH I would have felt zero sympathy for them until like 2 months ago when I got a dress that ties in the back. Not that it's any excuse in their case, but like... holy sh**, it's like being a dumb child all over again and I was humbled." -- ApathyToTheMax

Caught With the Melting Gun

"One of roommates in college would go though plastic spatulas like crazy. She'd melt them and wouldn't say anything about it. She'd only tell me when I'd go to use it and wonder why it was messed up. She'd always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic. No."

"I finally caught her one day. She'd be cooking something and would walk away LEAVING THE PLASTIC SPATULA IN THE PAN WHILE IT WAS STILL ON!"

-- Fantastic_Relief

Dinner With a Chisel and Fork

"I had a roommate at university who's 'cooking' method was put baked beans in a Tupperware, seal the lid, turn on microwave, when lid pops and explodes beans everywhere they're cooked."

"One time I came home to find the oven on and smoking a bit. Opened the door to find what was an entire lasagne bubbling on the bottom of the oven. He bought himself a frozen lasagna, step 1 'remove outer packaging' step 2 'place on middle tray of preheated oven' "

"He literally thought that outer packaging was anything outside of the lasagne, so he tore away that shell that the lasagne cooks in and placed it straight on the rack, so as it defrosted it just fell through the rack and all over the oven"

-- Thejustinset

2 is Better than One

"My friend in college once lamented, 'ugh. I have to pee and I just put a tampon in like five minutes ago. I hate having to pull them out dry. Also it's such a waste.' "

"Her mother taught her that there is only one hole down there and peeing with a tampon in is not possible. It will fuck up your bladder. Took a lot of me showing articles and diagrams and answering questions to convince her there are, indeed, two holes."

"She peed while the tampon was still in and called her mother in utter shock to share the good news."

-- BroffaloSoldier

An Enviable 40 Years

"A friend who was pushing 40 had never paid a bill before. She had gone from living with her parents to living in a dorm to living with her parents again until she got married, then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time."

"Got a text from her asking if my power was out too, then she realized it was just her. Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were 'receipts' and that the cost was included in her rent."

"Her water was cut off a couple weeks later and we had to talk about that, too."

-- ReddishWedding2018

DO NOT SOAP TURKEYS

"Not sure if this counts but when I took a food-safe course someone asked if they could wash a turkey with dish soap."

"He failed the course."

-- SaltyJerm

Oil is Oil is Oil

"I've got two. A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did."

"Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died. Even after trying to explain it, she couldn't understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor."

-- snowman818

The Permanent Solution?

"I had to jump a friends car that wouldn't start. It had a hard time but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, 'thanks so much I'll call you later!' " -- foundinthewild1

"I did this as a kid when my dad had asked a stranger to jump our car. Idk exactly how old i was, i would guess around 12 and i had never jumped a car before. My dad had me in the drivers seat while he was by the hood with them."

"They were putting their jumper cables away and my dad had to explain what id done and ask for them again."

Off Ya Go, Kiddo!

"I had a relative try to put her son on the school bus his first day if kindergarten and got upset when the driver refused to let him on because he wasn't on the list."

"She never registered him for school and just thought she could put him on the bus and send him." -- whotiesyourshoes

"This makes sense to me. Where are you supposed to learn about school registration? They don't teach that one in school! The elementary school near me has little signs out front every year, but what if you never drive past it?" -- pinano

As Good a Place as Any

"In the late 90s. Had a co-worker who complained about her PC being slow. Took a look and the hard drive was full. Largest folder was her recycle bin. She had never ever emptied it in years of use."

"I emptied recycle, cleared Temp folder and the PC started working fine. She was happy until..... Her big excel tracking sheet was gone. Oh No. She did not know where it was on file explorer, so I asked her to show me how she opened it."

"She goes to the little storage container on her desktop, named Recycle Bin, and it was normally at the top, but now it's gone. No backup. Oops... She cried to management that I 'destroyed her computer.' "

"Manager laughed when I told her the truth."

-- MrRGG

Powder is Powder is Powder

"My ex and I were cooking together and one of the pans got too hot, and we had a minor grease fire."

"She grabbed a bag of flour."

"As tempted as I was to slap it out of her hands, I didn't want to aerate a bunch of flour next to a grease fire, so I grabbed it with both hands and forced it (and her, because she wouldn't let go) over to the counter top, and then dropped the lid on the pan."

"I asked her what her logic was, and she said, 'Well, you're supposed to put baking soda on a grease fire and not water, right?' "

" 'Yes. Why did you try to use flour?' "

" 'What's the difference? They're both white powder.' "

-- walkingknight

Things NOT Passed Down From Generation to Generation 

"My wife's entire family not grasping that you need to put water in a steam iron" -- hadleybox

"That is amazing. The fact that it is an inherited trait makes it even more glorious." -- arual_x

"A friend of mine thought that it was only for the 'internal mechanism' of the iron and he used to periodically release all the steam away from the clothes." -- Loricolus

What a Tangled Web We Weave

"Had a guy constantly asking what time it is...by the 6th time I said 'bro,there is a clock right there' he said 'I don't know how to read it...grown a** man.".

"Couple weeks later on Facebook someone shared a picture of cursive writing he made fun of the people who couldn't read it...I posted a picture of a clock and said what time does this say...he blocked me"

-- shadownights23x