Halloween is fast upon us and whether we like it or not, avoiding all things creepy and terrorizing is futile. But sometimes, the things that jump out and scare you inside the ubiquitous haunted mazes popping up in every town aren't really scary. Why?
Because there's nothing more dreadful than a creepy doll.
Why do children like playing with dolls anyway? Their lifeless eyes staring back at you is enough to send shivers down your spine. Are dolls even lifeless? No thank you. Aunt Petunia can re-gift creepy Shelby doll, or whatever entity that's parading around as a plastic play thing.
On the occasion of Halloween, Mallory Ortberg of the Dear Prudence podcast asked fans to submit their favorite creepy doll photos.
The results are in. And they will haunt your dreams.
1. The question is, who left the light on? And the next question is, you know better than to go explore something like a light source in an unfamiliar house.
2. Little bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and tearing off and eating their heads.
3. There's a reason why antique shops and flea markets have a surplus of dolls. They were abandoned for a reason. Look away!
4. This is what happens when they attempt to choke you in your sleep, and fail miserably. You're not off the hook, however. You can't check a doll's pulse.
5. "Lisa" is boo-tiful, alright. Brave, little girl.
6. This is on sale. Dolls in a body bag. Well, there is a customer for everything, I guess.
7. Girl, you did the right thing. He might have saved that last empty slot for your own head. Move on!
8. There's nothing like a handmade doll that says "I love you."
9. She was creepy in Toy Story, and she's even creepier without the mechanical crustacean body.
10. The creepy photobomber.
11. The more you try to destroy them, the more they'll give you night terrors with their disfigured faces.
12. They claimed their territory. Now want to claim your life.
&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fthoughtcatalog.com%2Fcallie-byrnes%2F2017%2F10%2Fthis-woman-asked-people-to-tweet-pics-of-their-creepy-ass-dolls-and-theyre-actually-incredibly-disturbing%2F13. This one is looking for a home. And a pair of eyes to fill her sockets. Are you the generous donor?
&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fthoughtcatalog.com%2Fcallie-byrnes%2F2017%2F10%2Fthis-woman-asked-people-to-tweet-pics-of-their-creepy-ass-dolls-and-theyre-actually-incredibly-disturbing%2F14. Found on the boulevard of broken dreams.
&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fthoughtcatalog.com%2Fcallie-byrnes%2F2017%2F10%2Fthis-woman-asked-people-to-tweet-pics-of-their-creepy-ass-dolls-and-theyre-actually-incredibly-disturbing%2F15. Nuh-uh. Bye!
16. I mean, I love me some Carol Channing and Tammy Faye, but I don't need a hybrid doll following me into the bathroom late at night. "Goodbye, Dolly!"
Still love the dolls that stare you down in your sleep? Happy Halloween!
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