I love therapy.
If only I could afford it regularly.
When I was consistent with my sessions, I learned so much.
I learned about life as a whole and myself as an identity.
Therapists have done so much good for so many.
Therapists who are accredited and learned, that is.
Not the armchair loonies on TikTok.
If you're seeking help, find the right doctor... a real one.
The results can be astounding.
Redditor pottipenguin wanted to discuss everyone's most life-changing therapy sessions, so they asked:
"What’s a small bombshell your therapist dropped during a session that completely shifted your perspective?"
Happiness
"Your brain is there to keep you alive, not happy. You need to do things that make you happy, not just expect it from your intellect."
"Well, this comment got a lot more attention than expected. Thanks everyone, I hope it helps someone!"
- Misfit_somewhere
Grateful...
"The night my dad died, we were at his hospital bedside... I'd banned my abusive boyfriend at the time from coming as I didn't want him there, and my family didn't like him... he kept ringing my mum as I switched my phone off... I beat myself up for years and said to my therapist that the last thing my dad heard was me arguing with my ex."
"My therapist said, 'How about your dad heard you standing up to him and telling him no? 'I am so grateful she said this, and I tell her that often, as it completely shifted that shame... I totally believe that my dad would have been so proud of me for telling my ex no."
- beaky1994
Strife...
"I described what another person must have been thinking/feeling when they did X. My therapist described an alternative version of what they may have been thinking/feeling, which was immediately completely plausible, and was a much kinder interpretation than mine."
"It was then that I realized my interpretation of reality could (potentially) be really flawed and cause me unnecessary strife."
"It made me realize that I should be much slower to judge actions/words, and that, especially in the case of people whom I had reason to trust, I should actually seek clarification before I jumped to emotional conclusions."
- whynotthebest
A Bag of Bricks
"When discussing why I felt like I couldn't leave my abusive relationship, when I said that it wasn't some pattern of behavior for me, and that id never found myself in a situation like this before.'
"She told me that this relationship mimicked the cycle of abuse I had been dealing with since I was a child, with my mother. The abuse. The stonewalling. Silent treatment. Blaming me for her behavior. Discard/disown. The re-emergence with no accountability. The denial of any wrongdoing. Over and over for decades. It was exactly, exactly the same."
"I'd never found myself in this situation romantically out of pure luck, I'd just never had any abusive partners before. But my response to abuse was to revert almost exactly the way I did as a child and young adult with my mother."
"Make myself small. Prioritize the relationship over my well-being. Have no boundaries. Forgive everything. Walk on eggshells. Do everything I can (including therapy) to fix myself, and figure out how to solve the situation, all on my own. Revert into myself. Build walls emotionally. Disassociate.'
"Hit me like a bag of bricks."
- PureOpportunity6427
Astonishing...
"I've always had a rough time remembering things. Being on time. Losing focus etc. At my request my GP sent me to a psychologist for an ADHD assessment when I was 37 years old. I had been reading up on it and it sounded just like me, but also I had imposter syndrome bad and as soon as the appointment was made I started doubting myself."
"I get to my first appointment an hour early, with all my paperwork ready to go. I just knew he was going to say I was fine and send me on my way just based on that. But no, not only did I have the wrong day, It was the wrong month."
"The second session, he sat me down and said, 'The fact that you have gone this long without a diagnosis or any help is frankly astonishing. I have to ask, with no disrespect, how have you held down a job?'"
"Everything changed after that. Hearing confirmation that something was off and it wasn't just me being lazy totally shifted my perspective. I got on medication, I started researching how to help myself that would work with how I perceived life. It was honestly life changing in the best way."
"I still have my moments but now that I understand why I do things the way I do, I can counter them or even prevent them."
- Ezada
Bad Fit
“'Well, that’s what I would want in any relationship. Why wouldn’t you want that too?'”
"Made me realize my long-term therapist wasn’t a good fit for me. I realized they had been projecting their own relationship and issues into my sessions."
- FickleCharge882
Psycho
"The angriest person looks the craziest. Doesn't matter if you're right, you look like a psycho."
"I have anger issues and could not understand why people couldn't see why. It's because my actions and levels of anger made people think I was crazy."
"Edit: thank you all for your replies!! I wanted to add that I had a horrible childhood, marriage, and other relationships. My go to reaction has always been to be pissed off. Especially when I saw or heard someone doing something wrong. I would explode, making myself look psychotic while the person doing bad shit stayed calm and therefore made onlookers believe I was in the wrong. It took me many years to lock that anger up (and I still have to work on it daily) so that I could prove that I am not actually psychotic."
- jokersmile27
Kindness
"That I was deserving of the same kindness I showed other humans and animals."
"He asked what I liked most about myself. After a long pause, I said I was kind. He asked for examples. I told him about cooking for ill friends, staying sober purely to trip sit some crazy parties, being vegan solely for ethical reasons, working with disabled and sometimes violent kids for minimum wage, picking up stranded friends, volunteering for animal charities, being the house that everyone came to when they had a problem. "
"He nodded thoughtfully. Then asked, but are you kind to yourself? Just the idea that I was worthy of my own kindness completely blew my depressed little brain."
- shiftyemu
ALL THE TIME
"I'm someone who beats themselves up ALL THE TIME for have feelings, partially the eldest child curse but also an abusive father who would punish me for things that weren't my fault and past exes who made me feel like my feelings were inconvenient or annoying to them... its' wired me to stay silent when upset and not ask for things I need from people because if I do, l'm afraid I might hurt their feelings and they won't choose me."
"When approaching hard conversations or issues with others, I am so absorbed in worrying about them that I second-guess if its ok to feel what I feel and if it's fair to even be upset, so I struggle with trying to set boundaries for myself. When talking with my therapist about whether its fair to ask for this or that from someone and whether or not something is a 'big enough deal to bring up' he looks at me and says:"
“'It doesn't matter what they think, it's a big deal to you. That’s enough.'”
"Made me SOB haha."
- blue_tiny_teacup
STUNNED
"When I was 22 or so and just starting to go to therapy and realize how terrible my childhood was- a doctor told my best friend's sister who was like 20 at the time, 'As children you're a victim, as adults we're volunteers' and we were STUNNED - like WTF is this duck talking about?!? And now I really see what he meant. My psychiatrist said once when I was complaining about being such a people pleaser- 'Were they ever PLeasEd?" No, no they were not.'"
- ResponsibleSail5802
Let it Flow...
"Don’t fight the pain, let it pass through."
- AppleVenusVol1
The End
"She refused to continue treating me if my goal was to stay with my husband because she wouldn't enable his abuse. If I wanted help leaving, she would provide resources and support, but otherwise, there was nothing more she could do."
"Probably not the most orthodox method of ending treatment, but it shocked me out of my denial and excuses. It took another month or so to wrap my head around it, but once my eyes were opened I couldn't ignore it anymore."
- filthyantagonist
No-Contact
"That a 'friend' I did volunteer work for - and who treated me like s**t - was pretty much the same guy as my father (temper, behaviour). That was mind-blowing, because while I was no contact with my father already, as I saw the issues there, I completely ignored it with that dude. I am now no-contact with both. :-D"
- trullaDE
DAY 1
"That I'm just mimicking learned behaviors (both good and bad) from people in my life and I needed to figure out who I was, what I actually liked, what my genuine reactions were to things. That caused me to pause more often and say, 'Is this me or my mother/father/grandparents?' She changed my perspective on day 1."
- ssejoya
That is a lot of released pain.
That is a lot of success.
Everyone is walking around with unresolved issues.
Things can get better.
And sometimes the answer is shockingly simplistic.
We just need the right person to help us unlock the answers.
