A woman who had become comfortable taking her birth control pills in public found herself ethically conflicted after she was shamed by someone who caught her covertly popping a pill while on a date.
Her watch alarm went off to indicate it was time for her to ingest the pill, but during the 30-seconds it took to retrieve and swallow it, her friend's boyfriend had been watching.
But rather than minding his business and enjoying the evening, he called her out and said what she was doing was "inappropriate."
Dinner apparently came with a side of nosy and judgmental.
As someone who is averse to confrontation, she internalized the awkward moment and her boyfriend fortunately changed the subject.
Later, she asked Reddit if she was the a$hole for taking her oral contraceptive in public.
Using the handle, "throwaybcpublic," the original poster (OP) explained she was the sort of person who was always "worried about what other people would think."
"I've been taking oral contraceptives for about 6 years now. When I first started, I was worried about what other people would think (I was raised in a pretty 'sex-is-taboo' household) and hid that I was taking them very well."
"Now, however, I'm in my mid twenties and I'm comfortable enough in my skin that I don't really mind if people know I'm on the pill."
"Anyway, I was out on a double date with a couple we know last night and the alarm on my watch started going off (vibration). It was time for me to take my pill."
"While we're all chatting, I reach down into my purse that's beside me in the booth and get my pill, put it in my mouth, and take a drink of water. Whole thing probably took 30 seconds."
"My friend didn't comment, but her boyfriend made a face and said 'did you just take something?'"
"I said 'yeah, my birth control.'"
"He made another face and said, 'that's inappropriate don't you think?'"
"I just kind of exchanged a look with my boyfriend who seemed as lost as I was. I mumbled an 'uh, ok' cause I hate confrontation."
"He went on, 'you should probably go to the bathroom to do that. It's really not polite to take that kind of pill in front of a group of people. We get it, you have sex.'"
"I really had no idea what to say, so my boyfriend changed the subject to the game that was on over our heads at the bar and the night carried on."
"I was pretty much floored. Wtf?"
"I had been doing this for a while now, any time I'm out and my alarm goes off, I'll just take my pill and go about my day."
"Wouldn't it be like taking any other medication? Or Advil? I don't really see the problem. AITA?"
After Reddit users declared she was NTA (not the a$hole), they wondered if Mr. Nose-A-Lot didn't understand how birth control works or that women take it for more than birth control.
"Yeah his response was as if she had taken viagra. Plenty of people take birth control for reasons other than sexual. I take mine for migraine prevention, my sister takes hers to control endometriosis." – insomniac29
"Ah. Maybe the guy didn't understand how the pill works? Perhaps he thought it was something you take just before sex to prevent pregnancy? So in his mind, she was saying 'hey, let me pop this pill so I can have sex with my boyfriend right after dinner'."
"Either way, that dudes an idiot, so OP is NTA." – its_a_gibibyte
What she was ingesting should not have been any concern of his.
"NTA And what if it wasn't birth control you were taking, would that have then been deemed appropriate by him?"
"The fact he's asking what it is you're taking and why is crossing a line in and of itself, where was your girlfriend when he was spouting this stupidity? She should of stepped in and shut him up." – MissDkm
"Yeah, it wasn't his place to ask about her medication at all. That by itself was unbelievably rude." – csonnich
"Exactly. I take meds at an exact time every day. Depending on the situation, I may dip into the bathroom to take it, but at a casual dinner with friends?"
"Hell no! Why am I interrupting my dinner when it takes exactly 30 seconds to discreetly take a pill? The polite thing to do is ignore it completely. Why is it any of the guy's business?" – Bi-Bi-Bi24
Even if she was preparing for a sensual night after dinner, readers turned on the friend for being too nosy.
"But like.....even if that were true it literally does not impact him at all."
"She didn't say 'hey everyone, pause real quick, gotta take my fun-sex pill!'"
"She just took a pill at dinner. He started asking questions. It could have been Advil or an antibiotic or medicine you have to take at set times with food."
"He's being incredibly intrusive regardless of the medicine." – PurpleHooloovoo
"Yep, she should have told him she was preparing to meet her boyfriend in the bathroom in 30 seconds. See if he thinks that's inappropriate." – uplatetoomuch
"Its 2020, there are so many females taking birth control for many different reasons and I'm sure his own girlfriend or sister does as well. There's little to no excuse for him being ignorant. He is an idiot, NTA OP" – ashlynbuddy
"I think it's entirely possible he doesn't know how it works. He's still an a*****e regardless. What business of his is it if she took something? Why does he have to know what it was? It's none of his business." – adventuresinnonsense
"I wonder if a lot of people have that misconception."
"I remember Rush Limbaugh went off on some woman who thought it should be easier to obtain birth control. He ranted that she must be some kind of s**t who went through boxes of pills a day because she was having so much sex." – WaldoJeffers65
In addition to preventing pregnancy, oral contraceptive pills, or "the pill" is prescribed for a variety of other reasons, including for menstrual cramps, PMS, Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI) and endometriosis.
The pill also helps with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) – a condition in which the ovaries produce extra testosterone – to balance hormone levels.
Not that the nosy dinner companion deserved an explanation.
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AMC