Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic
gaganmasoun/PIXABAY

We all need to love ourselves.

And is very important to put ourselves and our happiness first.

Self-love is a vital part of the human existence.

But some people really need to examine the behavior that they deem as "self-care."

Self-care doesn't belittle others.

And it acknowledges the line between confidence and arrogance.


Redditor redhead_in_red wanted to hear about the ways in which choosing "Me First" can actually be a detriment.

So they asked:

"What's some popular self-care/self-love advice that is actually really toxic?"

The telling it like it is crew always gets me.

There is truth and the way you say it.

Nope

Go Away Art GIF by GIPHY Studios Originals Giphy

"If they can't handle my worst, they don't deserve my best,' funny how those people are always at their 'worst.'"

Team-Hero

"I consider anyone who ever says this to be radioactive, so I stay miles away. I remember being on dating sites and some women using that in their info. Automatic nope... lol."

Beaudaci0us

Stay Positive

"Advice to Surround yourself only with positive people, if you're willing to cut people from the your life when they are a bit down, that's a recipe for people hiding the negatives in their life from friends, only discussing the positive and having mostly superficial friendships, for fear of you being cut out of their lives."

"Not saying you need to keep people in your life who are treating you badly, but we all go through times when we are up and times when we are down, friends give you thier time through both."

cognitivebetterment

Trust

“'Always trust your feelings.'”

"This advice is everywhere. No, oftentimes our feelings require introspection to work through them and make positive change."

youkick

"I always took this as 'trust your gut,' meaning 'trust your instinct.' We describe it as a feeling but it's actually thought, memory, and sensation/feeling - not an emotion. And this definitely gets lost in our collective game of telephone."

"It's meant for things pertaining to general survival decisions, mostly. Like, a gut 'feeling' to not cross the street yet. It's a bunch of things we pick up on but can't quite put our finger on, and it is better to act without thinking on each thing and memory specifically."

REDDIT

Conditional

"That you should expect unconditional support love and acceptance from friends or romantic partners. Popular idea, but if people really care they will tell you when you are harming yourself or others rather than just keep the vibe chill."

REDDIT

"Unconditional support does NOT mean they go along with whatever you want. It means they care about you and support you, even when you make bad decisions. And sometimes, supporting you means telling you how it is."

GildedLily16

Rubbish

You Lie Harry Potter GIF by Sky Giphy

"The sort of 'positivity' that relies on dragging other people down."

"I see it the most around body image issues in particular (but can apply to other things too), and I just think it's really sad."

"It doesn't solve any of the underlying issues, just makes more people feel rubbish about themselves!"

ClydeB3

Keeping everyone afloat is part of the positive.

Brutal

Giphy

"It's not really advice, but it's popular for people to label themselves as 'brutally honest.'"

"Honesty is good, but beware of people who are more interested in the brutality than the honesty."

SteezyPeez

True Dat.

"'Live your truth.' There is a fine line between between authenticity and being an a**hole."

Kurgan1536

"I've yet to meet a person who uses 'I'm speaking my truth' who didn't clearly mean "I don't care how incorrect or hurtful what I'm about to say is; if you don't accept it you're disrespecting me."

"To clarify since some replies are bringing up specific people. I don't know much about celebrities. I was mostly thinking of a former coworker who would use the phrase constantly when being blatantly wrong but still expecting to be accommodated for her preferred reality."

SumsuchUser

Say NO... to YOU!

“'Ignore the haters.'”

"Sometimes the 'haters' are people who love you and want to warn you of potential pitfalls (such as MLMs, cults, abusive relationships, etc.)"

"Update: A few people are saying that the definition of haters is, essentially, only people who are hating for the wrong reasons. I agree that’s what this advice intends to communicate. Basically, don’t pay any attention to people who project consistent irrational negativity your way."

"My concern is that this phrase is so easily misapplied as a 'self love' mantra which ultimately serves to keep some vulnerable people from listening to the valid and well-intentioned concerns of loved ones. It can be used by a manipulative person to keep victims/vulnerable followers in line."

"I like 'haters gonna hate' better because it implies there is a pattern. Like, 'oh that person is always hating so of course they’re hating now.' But if your sister is usually supportive, and definitely not a hater by nature, and is suddenly very concerned that your relationship is abusive... listen up!"

"I think it comes down to the idea that you have (arguably) more to lose by disregarding a well-intentioned friend than by paying attention to an ill-intentioned one. I appreciated the feedback and did not find any of you to be haters. :) "

REDDT

“girl boss”

"I have a friend who is very sucked into the 'girl boss' subculture that has her working all hours on a business that makes no money, then doing 'self care' in the form of spending the little money she makes on manicures or expensive beauty products that other people have told her are self care."

"Self care and self love is sometimes admitting that you need to stop perusing something that isn’t working and is making you miserable, even if it’s what you thought you wanted and even if everyone is telling you to keep going and not to give up."

wonkyboys

A Constant

Season 7 Work GIF by Shameless Giphy

“'Cut off anyone that doesn’t bring you peace.'"

"Obviously this applies to people who are constantly, deliberately making you miserable. But a stressful situation or argument with a friend that you care about doesn’t count if you haven’t attempted to work it out with them."

tinymom7674

Well I hope some truths sink in.

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshots from @henrysircomedian's TikTok video
@henrysircomedian/TikTok

TikTok Comedian's Hilarious Instructional Video For How To 'Skedaddle' Over A Rainbow Crosswalk Without Turning Gay Has Us Cheering

June is Pride Month for the LGBTQ+ community, and unfortunately, that's enough to provoke the most homophobic people to crawl out of the woodwork.

Haters, for whatever reason, have it in their minds that being part of the LGBTQ+ community is problematic, and some even go so far as to think of it as "contagious" or "influential," like other people can "catch it" if they get too close.

Keep Reading Show less
Joan Cusask with Jesse doll from 'Toy Story' franchise
Barry Brecheisen/Disney/Getty Images

Fans Defend Joan Cusack From Claims She's 'Unrecognizable' After Her First Red Carpet In 11 Years

After an 11-year hiatus away from the Hollywood spotlight, focusing on her life in Chicago and raising her children, Joan Cusack returned to her role as Jesse in the Toy Story franchise and stepped out onto the red carpet for the Toy Story 5 premiere.

Alongside her husband, Richard, Cusask appeared with her familiar short haircut, bold black glasses, and a unique dress that featured a long, fitted black skirt on the bottom and a tucked, loose white button-down on top.

Keep Reading Show less
Donald Trump speaking in the Oval Office
Alex Wong/Getty Images

Moments After Threatening To Bomb Iran, President Trump Just Revealed His Birthday Wish—And It's Irony At Its Finest

President Donald Trump's 80th birthday is this week and his claim that his birthday wish is "peace for the world" had people raising their eyebrows, especially considering it came after he threatened to bomb Iran again.

Earlier this week, Trump declared in a post on Truth Social that Iran's military "is a complete and total mess" and bragged that most of their forces have been "completely defeated," adding:

Keep Reading Show less
Sabretooth from the 'X-Men' franchise; Tyler Mane
Marvel Entertainment; @therealtylermane/Instagram

'X-Men' Star Has Important Wakeup Call For Men After Revealing He's Been Diagnosed With 'Super Rare' Breast Cancer

Breast cancer does not discriminate between people. While it is more common in women, one out of 755 men will also be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.

Because "breasts" are associated with women, people—including doctors—often do not recognize early signs of breast cancer in men, so they are less likely to be diagnosed until a later stage, which makes treatment more difficult.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshots of Evan Pfeufer's yearbook
@evanpfeufer/Instagram

New York Man's High School Yearbook Prediction From 2020 About This Year's Knicks Is Going Viral

Will the New York Knicks win it all in this year's NBA finals? It sure looks that way, and one New York man has known it would go like this since 2020.

Evan Pfeufer is going viral after showing off his yearbook prediction from his high school graduation in 2020.

Keep Reading Show less