Many of us are taught growing up to give people the benefit of the doubt.
A belief many people adhere to when dating.
After all, as Jane Austen taught us in her immortal classic Pride and Prejudice, first impressions can be deceiving.
Sometimes however, unfriendly men prove to be anything other than a Mr. Darcy.
As a result, giving someone the benefit of the doubt after a less-than-happy first date might prove to have been a bad mistake on the second date.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear about red flags people spotted while dating, which they chose to ignore, but lived to regret, leading them to ask:
"What’s a dating red flag you ignored and instantly regretted?"
Anything But "Instagram Official"
Being extremely active on social media, they made frequent personal posts about work, family, and selfies, but refused to be public about their relationship or change their relationship status to indicate they were no longer single. (He was cheating)."- doomedandbloom
The "Breadwinner" Should Be Determined After Marriage...
"He brags about how he is gonna make so much money and fulfill his plans."
"Tells me to trust in him."
"Only to realize I ended up paying for nearly everything he wanted because I TRUSTED his words and thought he had potential."
"When I realized how I felt used over and over again, I traveled, and then he started working lol."
"Still apologizing to this day about how much he loves me."- Fairy_Tail_5144
"...He Wasn't Wrong..."
"He said, 'you’re out of my league'."
"Then I’m sure you know about what happens next."- HugeToday5218
big brother pop GIF by Big Brother After Dark Giphy
A Trail Often Leads To A Discovery
"He would never shut up about his exes and how sh*tty they are."
"His last one before me he really despises."
"Turns out, he’s abusive lol."
"But also keeps some exes around to hook up with when he’s single."
"I found this out thru his Reddit page lmao."- lanaeda
Age Is A Common Hang-Up... Also... EW!
"He refused to accept my age."
"We were the same age (24) and he said I look 18 and he didn't want to hear otherwise."
"Yeah, it didn't last long after that."
"Like that's weird."- forestofelm
Not Every First Date Merits A Second...
"If you didn’t like them when you first met or when you knew them - that’s a red flag!"
"Something is telling you they’re not for you."
"I’ve done this numerous times."
"Try to date someone I didn’t like from the start, only to learn they’re crappy people and that’s why I didn’t like them."
"I always over-assume that past me is being judgmental."
"Nope, nope, nope."
"Just has common sense."- elizabethmariegodwin
You Can Never Have Too Many Friends... But Can You Have Too Few?
“'You’re really my only friend.”
"I regret never questioning why I was their only friend (and partner), and how that could have implications on their communication style, care for others, and ability to make time for those that matter."- Fair-Situation-1682
Not Everyone Can Break Old Habits
"Had cheated in the past."- KasanHiker
Speaking From Past Experience
"My cousin's dad told me about my boyfriend that I could dig up a better man in a graveyard."
"My cousin was friends with my boyfriend years before I met him."
"I thought his dad was just picking on him."- Kitchen-Dinner-9561
Unimpressed Get It Together GIF Giphy
Money Isn't Everything... But Financial Responsibility Is Important
"He refused to give any context on his financial situation."
"Reason being he thought it’s too early to disclose that in our relationship."
"The classic 'we’re not there yet'."
"At the time I had already noticed irresponsible spending behaviors and wanted to understand where he was at financially."
"I told him it was important for me to know because I only wanted to be with someone long term who is financially stable and I’m debt-free."
"Turned out he was $70k in debt (student loan, credit debt, and car finance)."
"He was funding his trips with credit cards that he couldn’t pay off the next month and planning to get a newer car with another car finance."
"Frequently talked about buying expensive things for himself that weren’t necessities."
"I confronted him and he promised me he’d work on it."
"Barely changed."
"Should’ve trusted my guts more."- laughingsquirrel1
Fool Me Once...
"She had three cars repossesed."
Chalked it up to being young and dumb."
"Dated for 5 years into our early 30s, and she wrecked my credit."
"I'm 35 now and just got it back to where it used to be."- Large-College3370
Transparency Is Key
"Evasive about something innocuous."
"Comfort with bullsh*t only grows."- Quadranglecouple
The Bachelor Shut Up GIF by BuzzFeed Giphy
Change Is Good, And Often Necessary
"Unwilling/unwanting to change anything or grow in any way."- SlightConflict6432
...They Likely Felt The Same Way...
"Talking badly about all their exes."- FairyGlimmer_01
Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated
"He yelled at the waiter."- IndividualBrave4085
customer service waiter GIF Giphy
Fairy tales have taught us that we may need to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince.
However, sometimes we should remember the immortal words of Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
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