After people-watching, overhearing random conversations has to be the next best form of entertainment.
Some of the most bizarre conversations are the ones you're not a part of and stumble upon without awareness of context.
Hopefully, you're not the subject of a backtabbing discussion.
Curious about the things people talk about, Redditor Armand-- asked:
"What's the strangest conversation that you've ever overheard?"
The wild responses that followed included conversations that took place at a hotel bar, inside an Uber, and while kayaking. Breeder Praise
"On a plane, sitting near a traveling baseball team of boys about 14-16ish."'
"No dude, you don't understand, he's like the best chinchilla breeder in the country!'"
Conversation On Uber
"I used to drive Uber. I once picked up a guy and two girls from a house to drive to a restaurant. All of them were toasted. One girl appeared to be the guy's (much much younger) girlfriend, the other girl was her friend. The girlfriend ask the other girl 'Oh my god, you know what I'm really looking forward to?' The friend answered 'The threesome?' without missing a beat the girlfriend said 'No the spring rolls they are SO good.' All I could do was laugh to myself."
The Supportive Husband
"Not necessarily overheard, but when I was younger, I had neighbors that would sit in their car in their driveway with the car on for hours. They lived in their house alone, so it's not like they had kids or family to escape from."
"My mom eventually asked why they sat and talked in their car for hours and hours. The lady said, 'so our dog can't hear us.'"
"Ok."
"Honestly, I think she had some sort of dementia and her husband just went along with it."
Perpetual Scholar
"It was in the bus."
"There were two guys, one of them had birthday that day. Their conversation was something like: 'dude, you're 35, what do you want to do in life'?' 'well, I'm still at the university, I don't know' 'bro, that's your seventh major, you need help.'"
"I'm still laughing about it."
Oral Hygiene Preference
"My fiance and I were kayaking and a group of about 5 people ahead of us were talking. One man loudly says 'I can't keep her out of the toilet, she brushes her teeth with toilet water!' A woman then said 'what? You brush your teeth with toilet water?' and the accused woman responded with 'yeah it-' and I couldn't make out what else she said. My fiance looked at me and asked if he had heard all of that correctly and I confirmed that he had. This was this past Summer and I think about it all the time."
Morbid Proposal
"In a hotel bar:"
"Guy one says, 'How do we sell more caskets?' Guy two responds, 'Hope for a plane crash.'"
Here's The Scoop
"I worked as an Uber driver for a while and picked up a passenger who was speaking Italian loudly into his phone. Little did he know I studied in Florence for 4 years, so I understood most of what he was saying. At one point he uttered in a hushed tone 'I don't know what to do, the spoon is still stuck in my a**.'"
...Puts Down Chocolate Milkshake
"After school I was sitting under a tree reading and these two little 3rd graders boys were chatting right next to me.. I didn't register what they were talking about until I heard 'watery poo' and 'it went in my mouth!'. His friend then said 'wow I wish that happened to me!'.. And I had to put my book down and stare at them, they looked so excited and I'm still confused about WHY poo in your mouth would excite them so much."
Hunger Deprivation
"My friend says he was once walking through the mall when he overheard an old man say 'Aghh, I haven't had real, human vagina in so long.'"
"I'm concerned about what he has had..."
He Won't Find This Served In The Food Court
"My friend says he was once walking through the mall when he overheard an old man say 'Aghh, I haven't had real, human p*ssy in so long.'"
– [deleted]
Not For Dogs' Ears
"Not necessarily overheard, but when I was younger, I had neighbors that would sit in their car in their driveway with the car on for hours. They lived in their house alone, so it's not like they had kids or family to escape from."
"My mom eventually asked why they sat and talked in their car for hours and hours. The lady said, 'so our dog can't hear us.'"
Ok.
"Honestly, I think she had some sort of dementia and her husband just went along with it."
– michonne_impossible
Bewitched
"Walking through a market that is known to sell santeria and witchcraft stuff I overheard an old man asking someone to put a curse on someone who took his car by tricking him in to signing some papers."
Mystery Daddy
"Working maintenance in a hospital, shared an elevator with a new grandmother on her way out of the birthing wing and overheard her part of a cell phone call: 'She’s doing fine. Had a little boy. Baby’s good- she’s going to name him a jr when she figures out who the father is.'”
Not On The Menu
"One time at a Waffle House I overheard my waiter making a deal with a hooker at the table behind me."
– Undercoverfootmodel
The Case For Clay Consumption
"It was back in my high school art class while we were working with clay. Overheard some kids at another table asking each other if they would eat clay in a survival situation. Then they had an hour long discussion on the nutritional value of clay and if it was even edible. Which then lead into a discussion on the nutritional value of other art materials. Not gonna lie they were making some interesting points."
– mintulia
Passio For B-Movies
"Was at the library studying, heard a guy on the phone with his significant other say, 'yeah baby, I still love Sharknado.' Almost apologetically too, like she was accusing him otherwise."
– labbykun
Disjointed Custody
"In my Ceramics class a few weeks ago, a few kids were talking about what happens to a single child when the parents divorce. They mentioned splitting the child (like in half) and got the whole class's attention right fast, teacher included."
The Outed Dark Knight
"Jan 97, was in the waiting room with an appointment with a psychiatrist as I'd experienced a kind of 'dark night of the soul' spiritual crisis of sorts, long story, and I'm fine now."
"Little kid across from me sitting beside his dad, takes a look at me, then whispers to his dad 'It's HIM!'"
"Very unsettling."
People on the subways are mostly in their own bubble, whether it's playing Candy Crush or listening to music streamed into their air buds.
While the isolation inside a crowded car can be nice, straphangers may be missing out on some hilarious whispered conversations taking place between people who talk freely because they assume no one can hear them.
Next time, try dialing down the volume. You never know what auditory surprises will take place.
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