But Where Do I Apply? 

Head on, apply directly to the forehead

- SuperSinestro

Head on!

- Zubbs99

Apply directly to the forehead!

- __M-E-O-W__

It was literally just wax they told you to rub on your forehead. It had no medical effect. The only way it was legal was they didn't actually specify what it did when you rubbed it on your forehead, just that you should. The original ads did say that it was for headaches, but the gov't shut that down.

- BigGuyBillWilson

No Effort From Empire

Not sure how "national" it was, but there's this carpeting company "Empire Today" that had this really annoying commercial.

it just went (singing) "Eight hundred, five eight eight, two three hundred, empire (voiceover):Today"

It was on all the time. I think that really annoyed me about it was that they didn't even try to come up with theme song, they just sang their phone number. It doesn't rhyme or anything. It's not even that memorable.

I had to google "annoying carpet commercial." But once I saw "Empire" I remembered the tune, not the exact number, but the melody.

And, if I need flooring done, I'm just googling "flooring companies near me".

- teke367

877 Cash When?

Call j g went worth 877 cash now!!!

- adventuresinlove77

🎶I have a structured settlement but I need cash nooooowwwwww🎶

- sexopotamus

IF YOU HAVE AN ANNUITY BUT YOU NEED CASH NOOOOOOW

- AWIldWolfAppears

My dad had a structured settlement that paid 15k a year til death. When he was about 55 years old he called jg Wentworth just out of curiosity. They offered him 30k.....

He did eventually settle with the employer a few years later for a lump sum of about 250k.

- bucknorris22

Jake

Why the f*ck is Jake from State Farm relevant again? That commercial was like 10 years ago and now he's the face of the company like hes some dude that I'm supposed to trust.

- MLWcaleb

Jake ruined a marriage. I want nothing to do with that home wrecker.

- CaptainMcAnus

"That F*cking Limu"

Liberty Mutual Insurance's "LiMu Emu" commercials. I will never use that insurance company specifically because these commercials are so bad.

- TheVentiLebowski

I swear 2/3 of the YouTube ads I see are about that f*cking limu. I WILL NEVER USE LIBERTY MUTUAL BECAUSE I'M SO F*CKING SICK OF THOSE ADS.

/rant

- Lampanket

I have to agree! LiMu Emu is the WORST!

- Chooky54

Late Night Earworm

I don't know if I'd call it annoying, but the Education Connection song from ~10 years ago is a hell of an earworm.

- introvertedgenius

Always. Always at like 1:30AM, every night, every Adult Swim commercial break. Drove me insane then but it's kind of a nice nostalgia boost now though.

- dustyspectacles

That ad drove my Mom nuts when she watched That 70's Show late at night on The N/Teen Nick. I saw it a lot during Degrassi, too.

- lady-ki

OMG you are truly EVIL! I couldn't even get thru that commercial because I was almost instantly annoyed!

- ReynardPoison

Grow Up

Attention parents and grandparents of young children, Gerber life is accepting applications for the affordable grow up plan. The grow up plan gives your child 10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, then doubles automatically to 20,000 dollars later at no extra cost, start now for just pennies a day

- mrduckduck_

I just had PTSD reading this.

- firefly358

Honestly, those ads freaked me the f*ck out. Who insures a baby? (Cue intro to a show on Investigation Discovery.)

- gimpy1511

The Pink Stuff

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~

Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~

sing that in a western accent.

- xMagRocks15x

Every time I see this commercial, I think, "somewhere out there is a guy who is so excited to tell his family that he got his 'big break' and called his grandma to tell her he is the 'diarrhea guy!'"

- ganache98012

Service Unavailable

I randomly have the 'Stanley Steemer's commercial jingles pop up in my head. I don't even have one in my country >:/

F*ck you Stanley Steemer.

- donotgogently

LOOL Im the CEO's neighbor he has a Stanley Steemer van in his driveway right now!

- Mastergameisnowhere

Do you mind dropping an envelope with some of my opinions about his goddamn jingle into his mailbox?

- donotgogently

Sure, Ill stick one through the open window of the van too.

- mastergameisnowhere

Awesome, I finally get to vent my built-up decade-long hate for the Stanley Steamer jingle.

You have no idea how liberating this is for me and all those who had to endure the jingle and never have their carpets thoroughly cleaned.

This is actually very cathartic.

Ahem

Dear Mr. "Stanley Steemer", This will be the last package I ever send your @ss. I can't believe you've done this. I used to hear your jingle from all the way in Canada and it filled me with hope, wonder and anticipation. There's no denying the jingle is a masterpiece the likes of Mozart or Bach, but let's not pretend like weaponizing it on unsuspecting viewers who cannot ever have their carpet steemed isn't a war crime.

I wondered how I could have my carpets cleaned at a young age, and in each stage of my life there was that jingle "Stanley Steemer, your certified cleaner". I honestly have no f*cking idea what that even means, even today as a man. What are you certified for? Soap and water? Is it a ruse? Are you guys even insured!? A line so vague it could mean anything, but alas it had a catchy tune.

Life went on, yet there it was. Staring me in the face like a piping hot, steaming - "Stanley Steemer makes your home cleaner!". Firstly, wow. The skill involved in creating such a simple yet effective rhyme, could move Beethoven to tears... If he wasn't deaf. I digress, I think it's time we put this all to rest. For the love of God, take down the commercial. For the sanity or those who happen to have a channel package which for some reason features local commercials and have lifelong PTSD and have spent years in therapy trying to forget. From one Stan to another, take it down. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.

Sincerely yours, Stan

P.S. we should be together too

- donotgogently

The Opposite Of Feel-Good TV

No one will know this. There was a commercial for Kinder Family here in germany. Kinder are the guys who make the surprise eggs.

It was supposed to be these short 15 second skits that rotate every week or so. You could watch them online even.

I have not seen anything that was as unfunny as that before or since. It was like everytime you watch one you cringed so hard it would hurt. I felt awful after watching each and every one of them.

- durfenstein

Double Shot Of Jersey Shore

My family watches a lot of Ridiculousness, and MTV is going back through their Jersey Shore cast catalog and making shows with Pauly D and Vinny again. The Double Shot of Love commercials are full of "yeah buddy" and "yas".

So those.

- dieseldog09

Lelly Kelly

You definitely won't remember this if you weren't English and born in the 2000's. But if you were, then Llelly Kelly's were ingrained into your mind because whenever you watched Cartoon Network or Disney channel they were there.

Lelly Kelly's, the coolest shoes, lelly Kelly's they are so cool, oh wow

- pewdssupportline

So Loud

Mesothelioma.

I know it's important. I also know commercials are louder because people tend to walk away, but god damn. You play that thing so much I feel like I got the disease!

- Scoobity

A Quest For Silence

Never actually 'seen' it, but certainly heard it more times than anyone should have.

"What am I doing tonight? I'm calling Quest!"

Like Holy Hand grenades I don't give a sh*t what you do or who you call, lady. If I hear you advertise your stupid phone sex line one more time I swear to god I will literally implode.

I work as a security guard in a hospital over night, and spend 8 hours a day just outside a patients room. He leaves the T.V. on all night and I swear there are only 2 commercials that run on whatever shitty tv network he watches.

We would love silence but instead we get a TV blasting about the phone sex hotline ... and some stupid lady saying "They are some of the hottest videos on the internet, those videos showing you how to get rid of those bags under your eyes..."

It's the Quest phone sex one that I hate the most though.

- Link11020

Sorry, Shirley

​From Baby Take-A-Bow, to Curlytop and Heidi, America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations. And now through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD collection of one of the brightest stars in film history, but you haven't seen Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black & white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! Eighteen timeless films, packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together! These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time, and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your family and friends! Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple, with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic family films, beautifully restored in black & white and in color for just two payments of $24.99! Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free with your paid order! This collection is not sold in stores and only available through this exclusive TV offer! If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, Imagine what they could do for you and your family today! Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love! and now you can enjoy the original black & white movies, and the beautifully restored color versions, all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price! These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality! This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever! Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic films in black & white and in color, plus this Shirley Temple collectible photo, all for just two payments of $24.99 plus 5.99 shipping and handling! This offer is not sold in stores so call now! Rush delivery available.

- ​Ordep333​