People Who Turned Their Lives Around After Age 35 Share How They Did It

There's this weird pressure in the world to know what you're going to do with your life when you're between 18 and 20, work hard to get it, and then be satisfied with that for the rest of your life. But for many people, they're not in a position to attain their dream life when they're 20 years out.

That said, it's never too late to get a fresh start, even when you're around the middle of your life.

Curious, Redditor Sudden_Tree3904 asked:

"People who completely turned their life around after 35, what made the biggest difference?"

The Marriage Wakeup Call

"I realized I needed to end my marriage around 35. I finally got divorced and started to realize my bad marriage wasn't a fluke. I was repeating a pattern from my family of origin and needed to completely reevaluate my relationship with myself and everyone else in my life."

"I dumped a lot of toxic friends and family, did a lot of self-help and therapy, learned about attachment types and codependency and personal boundaries, and then at 40 met the love of my life, and four years later, we're living our best 'Brady Bunch' life with our kids and cats."

- triflers_need_not

A Business Startup

"I started my own business. It was hard. Really hard."

"I kinda leveraged my marriage a bit to do it, but I went from an unemployed father who did housework and cooked dinners while taking care of the kids to a self-employed father who does housework and cooks dinners while taking care of the kids with an income."

- UnluckyInformation51

Not Time To Go

"Finally realizing I wasn’t going to die by the time I was 30. I figured then that I needed to smarten up and get my act together."

- MooseMalloy

"Whoa, I had a similar expectation for some reason."

- microtramp

"D**n, I wasn’t expecting to find this feeling in a comment here. I am 29, smoking weed daily, and pretty depressed because I somehow think my life is going to end soon anyway."

"It won't, and I will need to fix myself, but how did you get out of that mental space? Like, I can talk about this openly, but I can’t seem to want to change it. I know that I will once I hit rock bottom, but why?? Help."

- tottivega

Security Encourages Happiness

"Finally getting a job that paid better than slave wages."

- Festernd

"Yeah, it's pretty interesting. For decades, I was told, 'Money can't buy happiness,' but then I started making a living wage and realized that money can't buy happiness because money is happiness. It's security."

- knightmare-shark

The Bare Necessities

"Being realistic with things I actually need (Nothing) to function day to day, cutting away all the rest, forming a proper budget, and sticking to it."

"So many people tell themselves they 'need' things and have literally never experienced life without those things."

"Thing is, you can't tell this to people, or they get all huffy and insist that they absolutely need it, or they can't get through life, and it'll take an experience like losing everything (which they'll never go through) in order to understand what I'm saying."

"You can survive out of a bag with one change of clothes. Work up from there."

- LargeSnorlax

Nobody's Coming

"Realizing no one’s coming to save me. Once I stopped waiting for a sign and treated rock bottom like a trampoline instead of a grave, everything changed."

- KittyGoddess99

"I loved this so much, 'treated rock bottom like a trampoline,' though, it’s not easy at all. Never give up on bouncing back."

- Regular-Activity6380

New Scenery

"Leaving my country behind and starting a new life in Spain at 35, 10 years ago. I miss my family, but for the rest, my life's been a total success since then."

- optiloxy

"I daydream about this a lot. I grew up with a great hand of cards where I can legally live and work in many countries, and haven’t liked the trend of where I’ve been living for years. Outlook doesn’t look good, either. I even took on a job where I can work pretty much anywhere."

- Edmfuse

Holding Yourself Back

"Realised how much I was holding myself back mentally and career-wise by daily drinking and smoking weed, used to think after a few beers and smokes I was in my happy place, but realised if you're in your happy place all the time it's not that happy a place."

"Haven't completely turned my life around, but it's going in the right direction, still enjoy a beer and smoke on Saturday nights, but am in a better job and a mentally better place... I don't know how I lived like that for so long."

- Wide_Ad4331

"This really resonates with me, 'If you're in your happy place all the time, it's not that happy a place,' I did something similar. Used to be a daily driver, thinking it was keeping me sane and content, but it just dulls everything down so you think it is. There are better ways to find fulfilment, peace, contentment, and they're harder to earn, but they're worth it."

- edbrat

Your Inner Circle

"Being very cautious about who you let into your life and also learning how to utilize boundaries… a lot of people can take your kindness for granted."

- Chineysphoto

"For me, it was breaking up with my manipulative girlfriend. Putting myself into therapy to cope with the depression. Getting diagnosed with ADHD and medicated."

"Realizing some of my closest friends were toxic af and routinely rooting for me to fail. Finding a creative outlet for my angst. Started life over with a new artistic hobby, cultivated a new circle of friends who were supportive and emotionally intelligent."

- billndotnet

Going Back to School

"Going back to school to gain a career. Not that I didn't do well; prior, I was in construction, but having a Career and not a job was definitely an empowering moment for me and changed my life completely."

- enek101

Diagnosis And Transformation

"33 here, but in the middle of a huge personal metamorphosis. I finally got an ADHD diagnosis and medications that work, and suddenly I'm extroverted, and outgoing, and chatty. Turns out anxiety medications were only half the battle."

"It's actually an issue because my family can't reconcile the sudden change. My mom actually... Kind of doesn't like me that much anymore, and gets pretty angry over the whole prospect of me 'needing medication at all.'"

- whenjacksattack

"I dealt with that in high school and college when I was treating my depression and ADHD. My big mistake was allowing my family, in the beginning, to dictate my medication use with their judgment, of using medication as 'a crutch,' all while asking me when I'm getting my next refill so they can scalp off it."

"It's an uncomfortable transition for your family because they're not used to you defining yourself. They'll get over it."

- BetterThanSydney

A Hopeful Mindset

"I read Robert Wright's book on Buddhism."

"I'm not an avid follower of Buddhism or anything, but the way he explained impermanence really opened my eyes about life, love, pain, emotions, consciousness, and beliefs. (There are some deeply weird (imo) implications of impermanence in Buddhism that I won't go into, to stay on topic.)"

"Basically, if you are in pain now, or anxious, or sad, or angry, etc. Ask yourself if you have always been like that. If the answer is NO (and it always will be), that can't be who you are. If you were happy once, you can be happy again. Not saying it's easy, but it flipped my perspective."

"This helped me get out of a rut, helped me change careers. It also works the other way. If you are successful, worth remembering that you weren't always there. Keeps you humble."

- rojeli

Goodbye, Toxicity

"Dropping all of the toxicity out of my life and burning it all. Telling my abusive mother to go f**k herself after telling her exactly how I feel about her. God, that felt good."

"Quitting alcohol and dropping the s**tty 'friends.' Taking care of myself first, mentally and physically. Started making huge strides in my career by taking the risks I was always scared of."

"I used to navigate life through the lens of fear, and I'm just not willing to do it anymore. It made me a better everything. I feel like I can finally step into the world as the best version of myself. Win-win for all!"

- anewstartforu

Practicing Self-Love

"It’s wild how much basic self-care, sleep, diet, exercise, can feel like a superpower once you actually commit to it. Losing weight was a game-changer for me, too, not just physically but in how the world responds to you (and how you show up for yourself)."

"Cutting out toxic people and habits is like removing anchors holding you back from that momentum. Funny how the 'boring' stuff ends up being the secret sauce to turning everything around."

- chaitalyy

Healthy Habits For The Win

"Realizing that no matter what you do in life, you’ll enjoy it more if you get proper sleep, exercise, and eat well, and then actually implement good habits."

"Different people will enjoy different jobs, activities, and partners, but for 99.9% of people, being rested, fit, and healthfully nourished will give you a clear head and the energy to get done whatever you want to do."

"Also, as you age, it becomes even more necessary to monitor these three things. I see people my age (43) who don’t have these things well managed, and even small missteps have awful consequences."

- Fezzik_

When people think of turning their lives around, they commonly think of making a major career change, but there are so many ways you could change your life for the better, in whatever way you need, and at whatever age you choose.

You just have to say yes to yourself.