Lawyers Explain Which Supervillain Would Make The Best Defendant

"Good luck proving..."

"Former attorney here: Light from Death Note. Good luck proving that he killed anyone. Writing names on a notebook is not illegal."

JustDeleteSystem22

Touché! Why didn't I think of that?

"Acme declines any responsibility..."

"Acme Corp v Coyote."

"Acme makes a wide variety of good quality products, but Coyote abused their design use far outside their intended parameters."

"For example, strapping an Acme Refrigerator to his back so the Ice Maker could make a snowy path for skiing is clever, perhaps, but far beyond output specs. Further, the Acme Skis he used have no place on asphalt roadways."

"Acme declines any responsibility for the ensuing broken bones, bruises, road rash, and hernia from trying to backpack and ski with a kitchen size refrigerator."

atomicsnarl

This is brilliant. We sort of feel sorry for the Coyote now. On the other hand, this vindicates the Roadrunner, who probably expected this outcome anyway.

"Dude was wrongfully imprisoned..."

"Megamind. Dude was wrongfully imprisoned as a baby then sent from prison into the public school system with no legal guardian, 504 plan, or any form of pre-school engagement or assistance, then they shipped him right them back to wrongful imprisonment. Metro City had it coming."

Annisnotmyname

Metro City sounds like a horrible place. Throw the book at them!

"I feel like any Scooby Doo villain..."

"I feel like any Scooby Doo villain should be a cake walk. All they really did was scare people."

Daredevils9

You don't think some of those decisions to scare people would fall under assault or harassment?

"The moon..."

"Rita Repulsa. The moon is outside the court's jurisdiction."

efficientslacker

Fair. Why is she being tried on Earth? This whole trial is a sham!

"He's basically the Vice President..."

"Darth Vader. He's a member of the government. He's basically the Vice President exercising martial authority on behalf of the lawful ruler. And as far as I can tell, there's no Space Geneva Conventions."

AnInfluentialFigure

That's what you think! We just need an intergalactic diplomatic mission to draft some!

"There are zero witnesses..."

"Lord Baelish. There are zero witnesses to his most hideous crimes, and the rest? He did just by talking."

Simple-life62

Are we going to ignore the fact that Sansa Stark saw him kill Lysa Arrin? Or is this a case of his word against hers?

"I think Lex Luthor..."

"I think Lex Luthor would be fairly easy to work with. He's rich, white, and most of his tomfoolery is business schemes."

AKeeneyedGuy

Okay, this wins. There would barely be a trial!

"Give me Loki!"

"Give me Loki! At least in the United States."

"All sorts of issues regarding personal jurisdiction and separation of church-and-state, and that's before you even get to the trial. Hard thing would be keeping Loki off the stand."

"He seems like the sort who would insist on speaking to the jury and probably wouldn't come across very well."

crimsonlaw

Quite likely. Keep him from blabbing and you've got a slam dunk of a case!

"Magneto has experienced..."

"Magneto has experienced the absolute worst of humanity, and that was when everyone thought him an ordinary human. Hard not to sympathize with his motives."

jah054

Emotional manipulation of the jury? Yes, that sounds like it would work. It typically does.

A lot of these sound like fun cases but they also sound like the kinds of cases that piss off the average person.

As if dissatisfaction with the justice system isn't bad enough, we have to add supervillains getting off to the deal?!

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!