Finding out that your partner is cheating doesn't always have to involve accidentally seeing a nefarious text message or walking in on the act. But sometimes, signs of what could be cheating might have a far stranger explanation.
Posting in the "Girl Dinner Diaries" subReddit, Redditor Jack-of-not posted a photo of an open-faced sandwich and explained what she'd discovered:
"I open a coffee shop [and] got home from work in the afternoon."
"Found a hair tie by our shoe rack."
"I'm engaged. I have short hair. Even when I had long hair, I didn't have hair ties."
"I'm trying not to freak out."
"He says it is probably one of his sisters' who visited last fall, and that our dogs must've been playing with it."
Sometimes, when people come across a single strand of hair, a hair tie, or an earring, others will be quick to assume it's a sign of cheating. But in this case, the Reddit community swooped in with a variety of other explanations.
Some urged the OP to look inward and think about her experiences with cheating before jumping to conclusions.
"Animals find all sorts of stuff and bring it inside. They could have picked it up off the sidewalk or in the yard and brought it inside without anyone noticing. I wouldn’t freak out unless there are other signs." - Medium-Ticket-9574
"I found a no show sock on my closet floor. It’s not mine. I live alone, and I know the closet was empty when I moved in a couple of years ago. Best guess was it stuck to my comforter when I washed it at a laundromat. I also brought home a Big Boy pin that got stuck on the bottom of my boot. There aren’t even any Big Boy restaurants around here. Weird stuff happens." - 17Girl4Life
"I understand why OP is freaked out (I would be too), but I also keep thinking about how frustrating it would be if his explanation was genuine and he really wasn’t cheating and didn’t have any idea where the hair tie came from. Having 'evidence' of wrongdoing appear out of nowhere and being accused of something you didn’t do that you have no way of proving otherwise has got to be SO maddening, haha."
"That being said, I sympathize with OP and hope she listens to her gut on this one." - ThePrefect0fWanganui
Even Redditor Jack-of-not admitted:
"I feel neutral about his reaction, I guess? He didn’t really seem shook or bothered at all; he didn’t seem uncomfortable or caught off guard."
"We've been together for four years! He's never done anything to make me second-guess him. I just always feel like I have to be careful because just about every man I’ve been with has cheated, unfortunately. I have trust issues, clearly."
Others agreed and pointed out hair ties tend to be everywhere but where they need them to be.
"Ask his sister or give it back to her. Trust your gut, but in my house, an unknown hair elastic probably was probably bought home from the park by the puppy who is obsessed with them." - ZaelDaemon
"A couple of days ago, I was doing a deep clean... Apparently, one of my cats has been hoarding scrunchies, small socks, and pencils behind a cupboard... My dog used to hoard my underwear and socks..." - BusinessLetterhead47
"Near the entryway, it could have been stuck to a shoe? It would spark weird feelings for me, too, but if this is the only thing to give pause, I think I would choose to believe my partner." - kateastrophic
"I also have had them shoved in my pockets or the top of my purse. I would never miss a random hair tie, I buy them and clips in bulk because they break or I lose them." - BetseytSchuyler
"It's pretty easy for a hair tie to hitch a ride somewhere it doesn't belong and him pointing out it could've been his sister's isn't a big stretch, it only takes one person with long hair (who might not have even been wearing it, could've just been in their bag or pocket) for it to fall, get kicked underneath furniture, and pop up way later."
"That's not to say that I would disregard it completely, but just that there are too many perfectly reasonable explanations to jump immediately to cheating. If you have other reasons to think that keep an eye out, but it isn't worth creating tension if that's the only potential evidence you have." - Brifrofo
Redditor Jack-of-not agreed with these observations, as well:
"Yeah, I’m really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, cause I know hair ties are so small and something I could easily get kicked around or whatever?"
"It is super possible our dogs found it from the depths of the couch and have been playing with it, LOL."
Some Redditors shared weird finds they had made in their partners' apartments.
"Okay, to be fair, I found a Bobby pin in my bedroom TODAY. I don't live with my boyfriend, I live alone and haven't used a Bobby pin in AT LEAST three years. Maybe more like five? I've only lived in this house for three years. I'm thoroughly baffled, but I saw it with my own two eyes and picked it up with my own hands. No explanation for me, either." - MHIMRollDog
"One time, I came home, and there was one cashew nut in the center of my toilet seat (I keep the toilet seat lid down). I didn't even have any cashews in my house. It weirded me out so bad. I still think about it." - Milkbl00d
"I remember finding a disposable contact lens case near the base of the toilet in my then-boyfriend’s apartment. He didn’t wear contacts, I didn’t wear contacts. I was suspicious as f**k."
"Turns out the man is just nasty and never cleaned behind the toilet. The expiration date was like two years before, and it was dusty." - F**kThisMolecule
"My sister found my hair on and in her husband’s dirty underwear and in the clean pairs in his drawers. My hair is long and blonde. Hers is short and black. But she also has lived with me for 18 years and has known me all her life and knows it gets EVERYWHERE, and I’d just spent the night."
"Unsure how I managed to infiltrate even the clean pairs, after a single 18-hour visit where I never even entered their room, but that’s how my hair likes to play it. I can never commit a crime." - biscuitboi967
"I don't know, once I found a pair of underwear in our washing machine that was absolutely not mine. Turns out my mom came over a few days before, and they must’ve been stuck to her like static cling or something, and they were hers!"
"A hair tie could be from any guest at any point in time." - IceDry4639
As easy as it would be to imagine the worst, a simple hair tie could have been dropped by one of the fiancé's sisters and lost until a pet found it, or their pet could have found a stray one outside and brought it home to play with.
Hair ties like to be everywhere they aren't wanted or needed, so the possibilities are pretty endless.
