Cheaters Who Never Got Caught Divulge How They Feel About It Now

There's a long-running saying that once a person cheats, they will eventually cheat again.

While that might not be true for everyone, and mistakes absolutely do happen, a lot of that repetition comes from how remorseful or guilty a person feels as a result of cheating on their partner.

But if they are genuinely hurt by what they did, whether or not their partner finds out, that might be the key to change.

Redditor slightly_artistic7 asked:

"Cheaters who didn't get caught, how do you feel about it now?"

A Lot To Learn

"I cheated once when I was 18 or 19 and never got caught, but it made me feel really gross about myself, and I've never cheated again."

- LeopardMedium

"A lot of younger people cheat, and a lot of times, it's mostly because they don't understand that you don't need a reason to break up with someone. People can do absolutely nothing wrong, and you are no longer attracted to them or interested in maintaining a relationship, and that's all the reason you need."

"It gets extra confusing because you still care about the person, and you don't want to hurt them. But, there is no avoiding that, and cheating hurts worse because not only is your heart broken, but you feel betrayed as well."

- matheww19

The Full Range

"I've been the cheated on, the cheated with, and the cheater. Nothing good came of it for me, not even good memories."

- SteamStarship

"This would look great on your LinkedIn."

- Jackielegs43

"I call it the cheater, the cheated, and the cheatee when I tell that story about myself."

- Oh_eM_Gee

The Third Wheel

"Met a girl on Whisper probably ten years ago. Although she wasn't really my type physically, she was cute enough that I was okay having a fling with. Come to find out that's all she wanted anyway."

"We meet up one day, and I take her to this little secluded park by the river that is usually pretty empty, sans someone fishing sometimes. We get to kissing and doing a little touching, and someone walks by in the distance, walking their dog. She stops and starts giggling, 'Omg, I'm sorry it's just that dog's tail reminds me of my husband.'"

"First time she'd ever mentioned having a husband. And she was making a joke about his family jewels because the dog had a cropped tail."

"There was admittedly a small part of me that wanted to just keep going, but I felt guilty, and the vibe immediately changed. I wasn't really into it anymore."

"I make a comment about it getting too hot and say, 'Wanna take a quick break and walk for a moment?' We hop on the swings for a bit and I think she got the hint that I wasn't into it anymore."

"We hop back in the car... The car won't start. She has to call a friend from Church to come and give her a jump, someone who very clearly knows her husband and what's happening because he keeps kind of looking at me as they talk. Super uncomfortable."

"Things wrapped up, she took me home, and we never spoke again."

- unforgiven1189

Unreciprocated Loyalty

"I was making excuses not to have sex for a while, I used protection, but still wanted to be safe."

"It was very difficult because I felt really guilty being around my girlfriend, so I went above and beyond with everything; I cooked more, did more lawn work, made her little gifts and stuff, it felt like I realized what an id**t I was."

"When she said, 'You’ve been soo perfect recently, I love you so much,' and gave me a deep body hug, all I could think was, 'Yeah, it’s because I feel like the biggest piece of s**t on the planet and don’t deserve you.’"

"Years later, we broke up, and a bit after, I tried to get back in the dating game and went on a social media platform I hadn’t used in ages. She was still logged in."

"I couldn’t help but go through her DM’s (yes yes, I’m a monster, but I was heartbroken and missed her), and I saw how many dudes were hitting her up while we were together, and she was loyal to the bone, legit like, ‘No, I have a boyfriend,’ or ‘Respect my relationship, or I’ll have to block you.’"

"Yeah... I definitely didn’t deserve her."

- speakerbox2001

Honesty Second

"Well. I cheated and immediately told her the next day. Dead bedroom, I should have ended it first."

"We ended not too soon after. It was a bad choice."

- Kurteth

"At least you came clean and confessed, so you clearly felt remorse about it on some level."

"When my ex cheated on me, he also told me because the guilt was eating him alive. I probably never would have known, but I'm glad he told me. I appreciated the honesty, but I still left him."

- No_Comfortable_3183

Haunting Decision

"Terrible. I cheated on my ex many times, and it honestly was just terrible. My self-esteem tanked for a long time. I knew what I did was wrong, and I knew that if people knew what I did, they would think I was a piece of s**t."

"Well, I knew what I did. And I thought I was a piece of s**t. Which in turn is a viscous cycle of being a piece of s**t."

- greg-maddox

Preparing To Walk Away

"When I was really young, I was in a terrible relationship. That partner was violent, abusive, unstable, a drunk, stole from me and my family, cheated on me constantly, purposefully humiliated me, all but bankrupted me, and was terrifying enough with their abuse and humiliation tactics that I felt totally unable to leave."

"But they would also go on these multi-day benders and just leave me wondering where the f**k they were until they came back drunker and more volatile."

"I cheated on them. It cheered me up, reminded me I was not trash, and gave me the courage to walk out. I regret nothing."

- Just-Secretary-4018

Long-Term Guilt

"I was promiscuous in my late teens. I only wish my girlfriend at the time knew how sorry I still am, nearly twenty years later."

"She made it pretty clear that she'd rather never see or hear from ever again, so I've never tried to reach out. The guilt is the penance for being a dumb**s."

- andy11123

"Good on you for never contacting her again. Always felt the people that do, especially against the other's wishes, only do it for themselves."

- sucknofleep

Like Boyfriend Milestones

"In my teens/20s, I cheated on every single one of my boyfriends with the next one and was never caught. I felt bad about it and eventually realized I needed help and went to therapy."

- babygirl-is-trying

"You'd be surprised how common this is. I've met women who brazenly say it's the best way to date."

- doorbellrepairman

Unhappily Ever After

"I did the cheating… We were engaged (but I didn't cheat while), and she got cold feet (she didn't know I cheated years prior)."

"When we decided it was time to get back together, I told her what I had done so I wouldn’t have to worry about it popping up in future, and I could give her my all (mentally)."

"She was understandably upset, and by the time she wanted to get back again, I was already dating someone. I think about her every day… I can't say that I would change the outcome because I have two kids, but d**n, she was the one that got away."

"Current wife cheated on me so I guess what goes around comes around…"

- Few_Argument3981

Pure Cruelty

"Been cheated on. And at least two of those f**kers regret it, or are still trying to cheat on their current partner, 10+ years later."

"I was the cheatee (partner to someone cheating) once! Hooked up with a dude who was dating a woman and we all worked together. It was awful. I didn’t know how close they were and that he was discussing marriage with her. She had a young child."

"When I got all the info, I wanted to rip him limb from limb. Cruel. I was in my early twenties and never put myself in that f**k s**t situation again."

"As a middle-aged person, I cannot fathom being so cruel to another human."

- Ifergy

Ruined Values

"I was an affair partner, and my ex was really good at lying. I do feel like I destroyed my values, and whenever I am completely truthful of the story, I am definetly an a**hole as I should have seen it coming."

"My ex presented herself as single, then a month later was forced into saying she was divorced, and then I realized there were just one too many coincidences. I knew she was lying, but I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. I mean, we went out a lot and even to Las Vegas together."

"I stayed somewhat detached due to the lying, and I then got her to tell me she was married and living with her husband. He apparently was gay, and they had another gay roommate. I bought the lie for a few weeks until I realized there wasn't another roommate, as whenever I dropped her off, there was only one car."

"It all came crashing down when I snooped on her computer and discovered that when she said she doesn't celebrate NYE, she used it as an excuse because she went out with her husband. There were also many times that I asked her out to concerts and events that she declined. She declined them because she had planned to go with her husband, which she did."

- Head_Sprinkles_3732

No One's First Choice

"I’ve been the guy who the girl cheated on their boyfriends with multiple times when I was in my 20s and early 30s. It gave me a 'not good enough' complex. Like always felt like I was only good enough to be second choice."

- ndesilva05

Two-Way Street

"In high school, I dated a girl who cheated on me every chance she got. I was insecure, and she was really hot, so I put up with it more than I should have."

"ONE time I cheated on her by barely kissing another girl with a peck on the lips. I felt bad about it then, still regret it now because it’s a blemish on my otherwise spotless record of 42 years."

- Thebaldsasquatch

The Greatest Offense

"I'm okay knowing my sister never knew I hand-picked my UNO cards while she went to the bathroom."

- Comfortable-Mix-2405

"You're a monster. Straight to jail."

- LordWitherhoard

"Most vicious cheating story here."

- EthyIPaige

Reading these responses was like an emotional rollercoaster. Some people clearly did not care that they had cheated on a partner, or even multiple times, while others seemed like they would be haunted for the rest of their lives by the choices they had made.