When people ask me what my job is, I always tell them that I get paid to talk mad sh*t on the internet. Sure, there's a lot more to it but that's the gist, right?
When it comes down to it, a lot of us have careers or jobs that can be boiled down to something that sounds a little bit bonkers. Reddit user NazgulMarmot (which is a great mental picture, by the way) posed a challenge to Reddit:
Grossly oversimplify your job description. What is it?
People were totally down to play, and it turns out a lot of us have jobs that kind of make no sense when you reduce things to their simplest terms. See if you can figure out what these people do base on their descriptions - and enjoy some of the guesses Reddit users had.
Management
I'm paid to be nice while people yell at me.
Hotel manager. It is a lot of fun though, people love my stories at parties. They gather round like I'm telling stories by a camp fire.
- Drew-
Gently
I crash planes as softly as possible.
A polite terrorist?
I'm an aircraft commander/pilot.
A Barista And The Magic Beans
GiphyI sell people magic beans to help them stay awake.
- luckyninja110
Drug dealer?
Barista?
So your a drug-dealing barista?
- Mattx8y
Just Guessing
I guess what numbers are going to be.
- queuedUp
You sit at a bar in Oregon and play digital keno?
Data / Analytics - Forecasting?
Yes! Ding Ding Ding!
- queuedUp
Maybe Blood?
Put things into people, get things out of people. Then: laugh about some random shit. And maybe blood.
Porn star?
ER nurse lol.
You Just Said That
I listen to people and tell them about what they just told me.
- AyoRobo
Consultant?
Nah, Just a student.
- AyoRobo
Chef Grandma
I'm everyone's Grandma. Only angry, sleep deprived, over caffeinated and at times intoxicated. I'm a restaurant chef.
- _Monotropa_Uniflora
That does sound like my grandma...
Close Enough
I make copies.
Cloning technician?
Photocopier operator?
- Wyrmczar
Close enough, I'm a secretary.
Better Numbers
GiphyYou give me numbers I give you better numbers
Number repair technician?
Corrupt lotto official?
Data analyst, you tell me what machines you've got and how much you use them I'll tell you what parts you need on the shelf
breast cancer GIF by Baptist Health South Florida 
Teddy Bear Doctor GIF 
feeling neck skin GIF 
praying GIF 
Snail Ugh GIF by Sticker Book iOS GIFs 
Serious 
Home Alone Reaction GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment 
Cat Working GIF