Couples Share The Dumbest 'House Rule' They Implemented As A Joke That They Now Enforce

House rules is a phrase that refers to the guidelines a specific household maintains.

How those rules are developed is very individual to the people living there, although some are quite universal.

For example, most homes ask everyone capable of it to clean up after themselves.

But other rules can be added as jokes then adopted once they prove practical.

Reddit user Doubl3oh_ asked:

"Couples of Reddit, what's the dumbest 'house rule' you and your partner made as a joke but now both of you are low-key aggressively serious about enforcing?"

What About Bob?

"I once ordered a birthday cake for my wife and asked for 'Happy Birthday Mom' to be written on it."

"I picked it up, never looked at it and upon revealing to the family it said: 'Happy Birthday Bob'."

"No other inscription, it must always be 'Bob', is ever again allowed for her birthday cake to this day 15 years later. Our grown kids love it."

~ mcburloak

Nighty-Night

"I always go to bed a couple of hours before my husband. To make sure we end the day (aka my day) together, he always tucks me in, gives me a goodnight kiss, and we end with something happy."

"It started as a joke, but we both realized it was such a good way to end the day well and stay in sync. He has done this every single day for over five years."

~ LovelyVegie

Last Straw

"When my husband and I get food, I always put his straw in his drink first.

"i never thought he noticed until one day i didn’t do it and he was like 😳 'are you upset with me?'."

~ imeanreally44

Invocation

"If there is a job/chore/task that one of us does not want to do, we are allowed to 'invoke the right' which is a game of rock, paper, scissors."

"You are not allowed to decline when someone 'invokes the right,' and the loser must do the task."

"Additional rules that have evolved over the years: (1) If you lose out of three, you can ask for it to be out of five, but the other person has to agree to these terms. Irrespective of who asked to extend the rounds, the loser still has to do the job. (2) Instead of picking rock, paper or scissors, you can flip the bird. This means you automatically forfeit and are agreeing to do the task, but want to express your dislike for the task/person at that moment in time."

"This has gone on for 8+ years and is how we solve arguments 99% of the time. It was written into our wedding vows as a joke, but has stuck. We are so serious about it that 'invoking the right' will occur beyond the confines of our home, in public in front of friends and strangers who look at us like we are mad."

~ defunctbethefruit

Forgotten

"We've been married for 35 years and we have NEVER been able to remember it on the date! The rule is that whoever remembers it first, usually 2-3 weeks late, yells 'Happy Anniversary' and is the winner."

~ Veganstein2959

Closing Time

"I 'work closing' in our house. My wife and I go to sleep at the same time, but I always make sure that I lock all the doors, turn off all the lights and start the dishwasher (if it's already loaded). She is not allowed to do anything, but rather has to get ready and get in bed."

"It started because she was feeling overworked and tired, but still couldn't go to sleep if everything wasn't taken care of. So I had her tell me everything that she had in mind and did them. Now I just do it to show her I care about her feelings."

~ Spodson

Pet Pal

"If the dog has 'chosen you' and sits on your lap, you are released of all responsibilities, and the other partner must get you whatever you want or need while the dog is on your lap."

"It is like 'king for the day' except it usually maxes out at 30 minutes. We take this rule very seriously....it has been broken once in 15 years because I had surgery and needed help with something."

~ Three60five

"We call this 'with cat' if you are with cat, you are relieved of anything and everything until the cat is removed and someone else must do it. It applies to everyone in the family."

"In all fairness, I try to get everything done before I sit down because I am almost always with the cat when I’m sitting."

~ xLeslieKnope

Chips

"My wife gets the first chip from every bag."

"Even if they're chips she doesn't like, she still has to eat it."

~ screenaholic

Car Money

"We had a rule at one time that if we had money for some reason we couldn't mention it in the car."

"We were afraid the car would hear us and decide it needed a new part or some work done."

~ Goatboy1

Car Talk

"We don't talk sh*t about our cars where they can 'hear' us."

~ my1973vw

Snack Pact

"I have designated snack baskets for us and the children. Nobody can eat anything from someone else's snack basket, including grown ups."

"I do it because I hated everyone eating my snacks when I was little and it made me overeat to ensure nobody would take my stuff."

~ TheCotofPika

Hide-a-Frog

"my late wife received a decorative frog-shaped gift for our home from some completely random occasion one year. seeing this, her friends and family decided that she was now a frog collector (unbeknownst to her) and began giving her all manner of frog-themed items."

"One year someone gave her a medium-sized bean bag frog. long before Elf on a Shelf became popular, i began hiding said beanbag frog in all manner of places for her to find. sometimes she'd find him right away and hide him for me to find, sometimes it took months before he would resurface."

"he got ziplock bagged many times and tucked away in just about any location you can think of in a house."

"i found him last in an old travel mug that i stopped carrying a few months after she passed. hid-a-frog is still there, waiting for someone to discover him."

~ bishopthom

Do Not Disturb

"Everybody wears an orange hat if they are not to be disturbed."

"Started as a COVID era solution to work conference calls and continues to this day."

~ Dense_Gur_2744

Shelve It

"Loooooong time ago (like 25+ years), we instituted the Your Shelf/My Shelf rule. Any food or drink on Your Shelf or My Shelf is off limits to everyone else in the house. You are free to share your food, of course."

"But if I ask for a snack on your shelf, and you say no, I cannot get angry about it. And vice versa. We both got tired of the other one of us eating snacks that we were saving for later."

"We were so serious about it, that when our kiddo was a kid, they got their own shelf, too. Kid's gone now, but we still do YS/MS. Keeps the peace in the house!"

~ Surprise_Fragrant

Safewords Aren't Just For...

"My immediate family is chaotic and we talk a lot and sometimes talk over each other at gatherings. I’m used to it. He was not."

"We agreed that we’d have a safe word of 'bananas', like 'this sh*t is driving me bananas' and he could say it and walk away for some peace and quiet. He used it a few times at the beginning, he’d just whisper it in my ear and get up from the chaotic table and walk outside."

"Over the last 15 yrs it has evolved that 'bananas' is now just our everyday safe word, for when you want to be taken seriously. When the teasing is too much, when we feel like the other person isn’t listening, when we’re fighting a need a break, etc..."

~ Mokelachild

What house rules do you have?