Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images
Make us preferred on Google

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Katie Zacharia
Real America's Voice

Katie Zacharia Just Gave A Bonkers Excuse For Why She Calls Herself A Lawyer Despite Failing Bar Exam—And Yikes

MAGA Republican President Donald Trump's new White House Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia, sat down with MAGA propagandist and noted Pizzagate conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec to defend calling herself both a "lawyer" and an "attorney" despite never passing a bar exam in any state or foreign country.

In her explanation, Zacharia falsely claimed she'd never called herself an attorney.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @lillys.healingera's TikTok
@lillys.healingera/TikTok

Woman Shares 5 Exercises She Credits With Helping Her Get Over Her Ex—And We're Taking Notes

We can all agree that breaking up with someone we loved hurts, and it can be really hard to get over them, especially if we envisioned some huge future with them.

Fortunately, TikToker @lillys.healingera received five exercises from her therapist to help her say goodbye to her ex and the future she'd no longer have, and she's not being shy about sharing her notes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Riley Gaines (left) and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (right).
Fox News; Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Vox Media

Riley Gaines Tried To Slam Hillary Clinton For Bringing Up Her 2016 Loss—And The Irony Is Off The Charts

The audacity of Riley Gaines lecturing anyone about moving on from a loss is something that really should be studied by scientists.

Because apparently, self-awareness finished sixth.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @whatsinthekoolaid's TikTok
@whatsinthekoolaid/TikTok

Former Grocery Store Employee Details 'Profound' Interaction With 88-Year-Old Woman—And We're Sobbing

Sometimes we do things wtihout knowing just how much it could change a person's life.

TikToker @whatsinthekoolaid, who used to be a grocery store employee, shared a special memory she had dating back to the year 2013 when she was still working in the grocery store primarily as a cashier.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @palladiumpaladin's TikTok
@palladiumpaladin/TikTok

Single Man Who Just Got Out Of Long-Term Relationship Sparks Debate After Calling Out Today's 'Odd' Dating Scene

Since the pandemic, there's no denying that most people's social skills have shifted. While not everyone's staying home and isolating anymore, it's harder to connect with other people, trust, and maintain new relationships than it used to be.

TikToker @palladiumpaladin recently discovered that this has impacted how people approach dating, too.

Keep ReadingShow less