When strolling through the dating scene, everyone has a different sense of who they're looking for and what kind of relationship they're in the mood for at that moment.
But even when they get into a relationship, there are certain things they'll be okay with and other things that will leave them running in the other direction.
TikToker @taylordonoghuee had a clear sense of what she wanted in a boyfriend and what she was absolutely not willing to tolerate in a relationship. She was so sure, in fact, that she created a list of five things that she would not allow her man to do.
At the top of the list was the female best friend.
"I don't believe in them. They always tend to get super messy. You can have female friends and acquaintances but, like, a female best friend? Absolutely not."
Taylor's vital second point was all about location, location, location.
"I will never not allow my boyfriend [to] let me know where he's at location-wise."
"I just wanna make sure he's okay. Am I stalking him every hour? No, but I feel like it's just one of those things that when you care about someone, you'll tell them your whereabouts."
"If you've been dating a long time, and they refuse to let you know where they are, that's a huge red flag."
Having eyes only for her was the third item on the list.
"I never allow my boyfriend to go to strip clubs, and I feel like this is a controversial one."
"You can go to bars, you can have a guys' night, but strip clubs? Absolutely not."
The fourth item on the list was the importance of sharing the expenses.
"The fourth thing I would never do is let my boyfriend pay all the bills. The men paying for 100 percent of everything is just wrong and I'm not even trying to sound pick-me."
"Obviously, I think, especially early on, the guy should take on the majority of the bills, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't pay for a dime."
"Also, my mindset is even though we're not married, I'm not trying to run him dry and he's not trying to run me dry."
Fifth and finally, the TikToker didn't believe in men liking women's bikini photos on Instagram.
"I feel like there's been so much more awareness on this, but it always makes me sad when I see someone that's married with kids or just in a relationship and they're liking girls' photos, especially if they're provocative ones. I'm just like...it's not a good look."
You can watch the video here:
Many viewers of the video were critical of the list, citing the TikToker as controlling and insecure.
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But some thought the list of boundaries was actually reasonable.
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After receiving some critical feedback, Taylor created another video, this time featuring her boyfriend, Jon, and asked him what he would not allow her to do as her girlfriend in the context of their relationship.
Jon's list was very similar to Taylor's in the sense of what was deemed as inappropriate interactions with other people, like meeting guys at the club.
But his list also included an item about her appearance, specifically to not get lip filler, as he had committed to her based on her current looks and not based on how she'd look after working done.
You can watch the video here:
Just like Taylor's video, Jon's list of five items he'd never let his girlfriend do received mixed feedback.
Some thought the list was reasonable and even cited the video as being full of green flags, but others thought the video was concerning, especially regarding his feelings about lip filler, which could intrude on a woman's bodily autonomy.
This conversation proves to be a great reminder that no list is going to make everyone happy, because what might be a green flag for one person might be a total relationship deal-breaker for someone else.
