Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Woman Who Was Treated Like 'Black Sheep' Of Her Family Sparks Drama After Not Inviting Them To Her Wedding

Woman Who Was Treated Like 'Black Sheep' Of Her Family Sparks Drama After Not Inviting Them To Her Wedding
Prakasit Khuansuwan / EyeEm / Getty Images

We all know the old saying, "You can choose your friends but not your family."

And many of us have much tighter bonds with those we've chosen over those we're connected to by blood.


But what can we reasonably do when planning for a special event? Are we required to invite family? Couldn't we make this easier on everyone and only invite our chosen few instead?

These were some of the questions going through a young bride's mind as she planned for her special day.

After always feeling like the 'black sheep' of the family, Reddit user "Imwaiciiwt," made the tough decision to not send her family wedding invitations or inform them after her wedding.

The bride posted on the "Am I the A**hole?" subReddit, looking for feedback on her decision now that her family knows she got married without them.

She explained first how things have always been in her family.

"So as a kid I (22f) was 'the black sheep' aka I was the emo that everyone in the family made an effort to avoid and that carried on into my adult life (to a lesser extent) but I still wasn't invited to things like weddings and family gatherings (I was however invited to go out clubbing)."

She also shared the moment she realized where she really stood in her family.

"Two years ago I'd invited all my immediate family, my parents, siblings and their kids and my grandparents over for Christmas dinner or after drinks if they had other plans for dinner. Everyone agreed that they would come over and would let me know when they're on their way."
"[Cut] to 9pm and I hadn't heard from anyone but my younger cousin who sent me screenshots of everyone in a whatsapp group agreeing that there was no way they were coming over to my 'dungeon' to sit and listen to 'wist slshing' music' while eating 'lettuce' (we're a vegan household) so I thought ok cool you've all made your choices, I don't NEED any of you and I won't be missed so that's the end of that."

Her feelings also didn't change almost two years later when it was time for her big day.

"Cut to last summer when I married my husband (27). I didn't bother inviting any family but my cousin (and my dad's sister as she's always been the mother figure in my life) as we'd always been chill. [But] I told her I understood if she didn't want to come, as I didn't want to cause tension between her and the goblins, so she FaceTimed me for the ceremony."

Just three weeks ago, the family realized she's been married since last summer, almost a year ago.

"Now three weeks ago my family found out I had gotten married. I guess they went to the group chat and realised none of them had been invited."
"[So] my uncle messaged me 'so after everything we've done for you you couldn't even let us know you were getting married' and then carried on calling me a selfish b***h and such."
"[Not] inviting them was the right choice so I know I'm not the a**hole there but my cousin seems to think I'm the a**hole due to my reply of 'stay mad hoes, I wanted the happiest day of my life to be filled with love, love NONE OF YOU have ever shown me. Don't contact me again' as she believes him messaging me was an attempt to 'reconnect.' AITA?"

She seemed pretty certain, especially after that conversation, that not inviting her family allowed for a much happier wedding day. However, after hearing her cousin's thoughts, she took to Reddit to seek out a second opinion.

Reddit was full of opinions, which were overwhelmingly in support of the bride's decision to not invite her family and to stick up for herself.

"I'd be more like, I was going to tell you about the wedding when you got to my place, but I'm still waiting for you all to arrive. You did say you were all coming........." - OMGYTA
"'I told everyone at my Christmas dinner they were invited to the wedding.'" - CaptainLollygag
"NTA (Not The A**hole). If they carry on send them the screen shot you were sent and ask them why would they be invited to a dungeon wedding full of scary music and lettus as they clearly hate that. 2 faced people are the worst." - Fallout4Addict
"Seriously good idea. NTA (Not The A**hole) and also when they didn't invite you to their weddings and gatherings and [you] people are not close and didn't came to your [event] then why should you invite them?" - avengers21
"I know I've seen and heard of much worse things, but I'm honestly stunned at the casual cruelty of just not showing up for Christmas when they said they would be there. To just... let someone prepare a meal for you and not even tell them you're not going."
"NTA (Not The A**hole). I'm sorry for the s**t family but I'm happy you can see them for what they are." - internetobscure
"NTA (Not The A**hole). They get all upset about it but didn't invite you to things when you were younger? They are hypocrites don't let them get to you." - zoeworley
"They wouldn't [enjoy it]. It was likely a vegan wedding with music they wouldn't like. OP would have made an effort only for no one to show up, just like Christmas."
"OP, I'm with you. Your wedding sounds like it was awesome. There is a sub for estranged adult children. No, you are NTA (Not The A**hole)." - TheOrigRayofSunshine
"'You don't get to pretend I'm not a member of the family for years and then act surprised when I agree with you.'" - rajwebber

Though it can be hard to put our needs first, sometimes we need to, even in the presence of family.

By doing what she did, the bride and groom were able to have a beautiful wedding day, absent of drama and ridicule.

Maybe this will make the family question how they're treating each other, or at least make them reconsider how they're using those group chats.

The book Black Sheep: My Journey from Evangelical Christianity to Atheism is available here.

More from Trending

Britt Lower
Monica Schipper/WireImage

Eagle-Eyed Fans Notice Subtle 'Severance' Nod Written On Back Of Star's Emmys Speech

Actor Britt Lower had one of the biggest moments of the night at Sunday's Emmys with her big win for Apple TV's Severance, but the real moment for fans was blink-and-you-miss-it.

Lower won the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series for the show, and during her speech she did the usual rounds of "thank yous" for her family, friends, and colleagues.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Peter Navarro
CNBC

Trump Adviser Gets Epic Reminder After Claiming The Left Went After Him Like They Did Charlie Kirk

President Donald Trump's senior counselor Peter Navarro was swiftly fact-checked after claiming during a CNBC interview that Democrats sent him to prison as a political attack, asserting that leftists went after him how "they got" Charlie Kirk, the far-right activist who was assassinated last week.

Navarro, who also served during Trump's first administration and participated in attempts to overturn the results of the 2020 general election, holds the distinction of being the first former White House official imprisoned on a contempt-of-Congress conviction.

Keep ReadingShow less
Lorne Michaels
Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images

Lorne Michaels Just Explained The Thinking Behind His Big 'Saturday Night Live' Cast Shakeup

Saturday Night Live turned 50 last year and a lot of former cast members and major celebrities joined in the season long celebration, but it's a new year and it's time to get back to business.

Which, with SNL, usually means some cast changes—out with the old (and sometimes not so old) and in with the new. Show creator and producer Lorne Michaels recently announced SNL would return on October 4 with a literal handful—five—cast changes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kari Lake; Charlie Kirk
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images; Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Kari Lake Slammed After Warning Parents Not To Send Their Kids To College After Charlie Kirk Murder

Speaking during a memorial service for far-right activist Charlie Kirk at the Kennedy Center, failed Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake—now the Trump administration's Senior Advisor for the U.S. Agency for Global Media—called U.S. colleges “indoctrination camps” and urged parents not to send their children.

Lake ignored the fact that Kirk was killed while speaking at a college, in this case Utah Valley University (UVU), the largest university by enrollment in Utah.

Keep ReadingShow less
JD Vance; Charlie Kirk
Real America's Voice

Vance Claims Kirk Never Insulted Black Women's 'Brain Processing Power'—And Here Come The Receipts

Vice President JD Vance served as host of the late far-right activist Charlie Kirk's podcast this week and was called out after claiming Kirk "never uttered" words about the "brain processing power" of Black women—even though Kirk said as much in 2023.

Vance made the claim after Washington Post columnist Karen Attiah—a Black woman—said she was dismissed from the paper following social media posts on gun control and race after Kirk’s assassination.

Keep ReadingShow less