Vacations are a time to unwind and let loose a bit. Even short vacations, when done right, can be rejuvenating and set us up to move forward from a calmer, clearer, place when we're back in the real world.
Assuming you don't die of embarrassment on the way back to that "real world," of course.
One Twitter user nearly did, but her incredible sense of humor has her sharing her story instead of fleeing to the countryside, changing her name, and starting life all over.
Kristen Arnett, a woman from Miami, went on vacation and stayed at an Airbnb. Getting away from it all is serious business—especially when you're a "Florida Woman"—so Ms. Arnett brought along some backup to help her really relax.
The backup she brought along, and evidently enjoyed, was her personal massager.
"Evidently" is defined as clear or obvious based on the evidence available. In Kristen's case the evidence we're referring to is the massager itself, which she accidentally left behind at the Airbnb she rented.
Oops.
It wasn't on a nightstand or a bedside table, mind you. Kristen left that soldier exactly where it fell, wrapped up in the sheets of the bed.
Oops.
Again.
But don't worry, the Airbnb host swooped into the rental to do their clean and reset just after Kristin checked out. Being prompt and on-the-ball means the host pretty quickly found Kristin's personal belongings.
That means Kristin hadn't been gone very long, so the host figured maybe she was still close by and texted Arnett about her left behind items.
That text, with a helpful visual included and an offer to put the item outside for Kristin to pick up, is how Ms. Arnett realized she'd left anything behind.
Oh God.
Oops.
The host, ever helpful, even offered to store the sex toy for Mr. Arnett for her next stay.
Embarrassment isn't likely to be fatal—particularly for a Florida Woman (as one myself, I can assure you we develop an immunity to embarrassment as a survival adaptation)—but it still stings.
They say laughter is the best medicine, so Kristin opted to share her shame with Twitter.
we left the airbnb and this is what the host just sent, i am literally in tearspic.twitter.com/FtWq9gzh1l— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen Arnett) 1651506180
they offered to keep it for us for our next stay??? five star service— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen Arnett) 1651506212
Twitter loved this. Misery loves company, especially when company is willing to laugh right along with you.
pic.twitter.com/snOqXyatOr— Something Profound (@Something Profound) 1651526907
Defenition of professionalism. Take notes. I expect nothing under 4.5 starshttps://twitter.com/Kristen_Arnett/status/1521153289529831426\u00a0\u2026— yungricosuav\u00e9 (@yungricosuav\u00e9) 1651585150
a few months ago i went to the laundrymat, shook out my fitted sheets and my big purple vibe just plopped penisly to the floor. & people saw. oh boy did people saw. unfortunately i did not immediately die.— K Mitchell (@K Mitchell) 1651537027
I like the fact that the host was going to return it as if they were doing a drug drop offhttps://twitter.com/kristen_arnett/status/1521153289529831426\u00a0\u2026— \ud83e\udd0c\ud83c\udffd (@\ud83e\udd0c\ud83c\udffd) 1651587782
<picture of AirBnB owner carrying it to the bench wearing oven mitts and carrying it with grilling tongs>— Kristy Eriksen (@Kristy Eriksen) 1651516920
https://twitter.com/kristen_arnett/status/1521153289529831426\u00a0\u2026pic.twitter.com/ZvIhW2up6q— The Bolder Side Of Nonsense (@The Bolder Side Of Nonsense) 1651539349
I have one of these for my neck and left it on the sofa. A friend came over and asked "what kind of evening I had planned for him." This is how I found out I was the only one using it for my neck. I mean, the instructions say "do not get wet."— Larissa Merriman (@Larissa Merriman) 1651521907
Rip to the lil purple guy I left in traverse city. Still afraid to read from review from that stayhttps://twitter.com/kristen_arnett/status/1521153289529831426\u00a0\u2026— dirk diggler (@dirk diggler) 1651578242
Without context this reads like either flirting ... or a threat.pic.twitter.com/SUKE4MsEuM— IggniFyre (@IggniFyre) 1651583917
Just got kicked out the library for SCREAMMIIINNNGGGGGGhttps://twitter.com/kristen_arnett/status/1521153289529831426\u00a0\u2026— Bigo & Mico Gossip Boy (@Bigo & Mico Gossip Boy) 1651533022
I want to know how many drafts the host needed; the language is just too perfect\nI\u2019m imagining like 25-35 minutes of just the three dotspic.twitter.com/lWY5aZAW05— Melissa F. Olson (@Melissa F. Olson) 1651532306
Hopefully Kristen left a great Airbnb review all about the stellar customer service she was provided.
dance off GIF by BANNERS
Dog Exercising GIF by Jason Clarke
who am i skin GIF by Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
@StephenKing/X