Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

The Sad, Drunk Toys 'R' Us Giraffe Just Went on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

The Sad, Drunk Toys 'R' Us Giraffe Just Went on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

On Wednesday, March 14, Toys "R" Us announced it would be closing or selling all of its U.S. stores in the face of almost certain bankruptcy. Since then, the once unquestioned king of toy sales has been endlessly eulogized on social media (though most of the stores have yet to actually cease operations). As a place where kids could be unashamedly excited and find cool products made just for them, the dying retailer holds a singular place in many consumer's hearts. But the closing of Toys R Us will have the largest impact on one person in particular: Geoffrey the Giraffe, an anthropomorphic savannah animal who is also Toys "R" Us's longtime mascot.


Geoffrey stumbled onto the set of "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on Thursday, March 15. He had a lot on his mind. It was not easy to watch.

Poor Geoffrey...

Giphy

Things started out innocently enough, with the mascot greeting the crowd in his usual buoyant tone, asking them:

Do you guys like toys?!

True to form, the audience responded with cheers! Geoffrey then dropped some bad news:

Well, I don't have any. Because we're bankrupt! *Giraffe Sobs*

Geoffrey said some things he couldn't take back.

When Jimmy told the giraffe everything was going to be okay, Geoffrey responded:

Oh no it's not! No it's not because all you b*****s bought toys on Amazon! Now I'm out of a job!

It was at this point Jimmy smelled the alcohol on Geoffrey's breath. Sobbing, Geoffrey sang the famous Toys "R" Us theme song:

I don't wanna grow up
I'm a Toys R Us kid
There's a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with!
...but not anymore.

Twitter was equal parts mocking and supportive, strange as that may sound.

And fortunately, the stores up in Canada have yet to close (though many believe their days are numbered)!

Geoffrey blamed his store's failure on Amazon and other online delivery websites.

Everyone agrees the rise of online stores like Amazon, combined with increased prominence from big-box retailers like Walmart and Target, contributed to the toy store's demise. However, many are also pointing a finger at the private equity firms that saddled Toys "R" Us with $5 billion in debt. In last September's bankruptcy filing, Toys "R" Us revealed they had to spend $400 million every year just to manage their debt, which made it incredibly difficult to turn a profit, let alone pay for store improvement and upkeep. The company hasn't posted a full-year profit since 2012, and has lost $2.5 billion in that time.

But, to be honest, I doubt any of that will help poor Geoffrey. Our hearts are with you, old friend! Hopefully you'll pull yourself up by your bootstraps and find a new, happy life.

H/T - Huffpost, CNN Money, The New York Times

More from Trending/funny-news

Screenshot of Stephen Miller discussing Robert De Niro
Fox News

Stephen Miller Claims Robert De Niro Has Only Made 'Flops' For Past 30 Years—And Here Come The Receipts

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller had people rolling their eyes after he lashed out at actor Robert De Niro and claimed the legendary performer—the recipient of two Academy Awards and scores of other prizes over a more than 50-year career—has only made "flops" for the past 30 years.

On Sunday, De Niro, a vocal critic of the Trump administration, called Miller "a Nazi," adding that Miller is "Jewish and he should be ashamed of himself.”

Keep ReadingShow less
A man holding a transparent umbrella on a boardwalk in a city
Person with umbrella overlooks city skyline by water
Photo by John Licas on Unsplash

People Share Purchases Under $20 That Made Their Lives Way Easier

Sometimes, in an effort to improve our lives in some capacity requires us to make a significant dent in our bank account.

Even though it might be yogurt for dinner for a few weeks after, we still feel good about our expensive purchases when we see the difference a high-powered washing machine makes, or feel the cool air from our upgraded air conditioner.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @matterneuroscience's Instagram video
@matterneuroscience/Instagram

Man Goes Viral After 3D-Printing A 6-Pound Phone Case To Combat Screen Addiction

Many Millennials will remember back in the nineties as the last of the "latchkey kids" who were prominently babysat by their televisions, and the commercials that rolled out, made popular on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network, promoting kids to go play outside instead of watching TV all day.

Now in 2025, videos on Instagram and TikTok encouraging people to "pause their scroll" and to "put down their phones" are becoming more common and popular, because people are realizing how detrimental our increasing screen time is to our emotional, physical, and psychological health.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from ​@karaandlife's TikTok video
@karaandlife/TikTok

Woman Sparks Heated Debate After Encouraging People To Smile At Walmart Greeters

There's an old saying that goes, "It costs nothing to be kind."

Smiling at a stranger, saying hi back to a young and socialable child, holding a door for someone, and maybe even exchanging a pleasantry or two at the checkout line costs nothing more than a few words passing our lips and showing a little kindness.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @talashatara's TikTok video
@talashatara/TikTok

Woman Shocks The Internet By Showing Off Her Husband's Incredible 'Glow-Up'—And Wow

Everyone loves a good success story, and don't even get us started on glow-up videos!

But one trend that's been really popular lately is the "husband glow-up" trend. In these before-and-after trending videos, two videos will be spliced together. The first half of the video features either a photo or video of the person's husband, which then cuts to the second video, showing the husband's glow-up with Sabrina Carpenter's "When Did You Get Hot?" playing in the background.

Keep ReadingShow less