In theory, threesomes sound like a good idea and a grand ole time.
And every once and awhile, yes they can be. But eight times out of ten (I'm not admitting to that being my actual number) they all deteriorate into a mess.
The biggest issues stem from the most important rule when engaging in this kind of activity.
Rule #1 - EVERYBODY HAS TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE!
This is should be obvious, especially if two of the participants are in a relationship. I'll never understand why that rule is so overlooked.
If you're not into it, speak up now, or forever hold your peace.
Redditor u/PsghettiToes wanted to hear all the saucy deets about those times we've dabbled in the adventures of sex, by asking:
Those who've participated in a threesome gone wrong, what happened?
***WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS FOR 17 AND UP ONLY!! YOUNG EYES NEED NOT CONTINUE!!***
I've lost track of the number of tales I've been told horror stories about sexual escapades gone wrong. Threesomes are particularly dramatic. There are always lies, jealousy, and underlying deceit. It's all too juicy.
Inches and Inches
Shame Reaction GIF by Montana State UniversityGiphy"A co-worker invited me to join him and his gf. He pulls out his monster member. I whip out my 4-inch Vienna sausage. It was awkward for me. She wasn't impressed either."
The Knockout!
"He stormed out of the shower because he wasn't getting enough attention. She got out and they talked in the living room. I slipped and gave myself a concussion banging my head on the tub, they had no idea. I came to after a few minutes and we had a very foggy conversation about boundaries."
- JtheGallant
Anger Issues
"MMF. The other guy and girl were exes, and the threesome was just a roundabout way to get together with each other one last time. I sat on the edge of their bed for 20 minutes while they hate-doing each other. The other guy drove, so I had to wait for them to be done. Eventually I just got my clothes back on and sat in the living room."
- Whats_In_My_Room
Whoops...
"Someone slipped and I ended up getting kneed in the face. Got a massive black eye and a concussion. Doctor wrote in my chart "sex accident?"
- flamaxblanca
"I work in a family medical practice. There are always stories. Funny because any notes become part of your legal medical file and cannot be removed. So if you change physicians, do not ask for the contents of your file when you transfer records. Well, I guess you could. Up to you. 😳".
- TinktheChi
Best Wishes?
buster keaton bride GIF by MauditGiphy"He (my then boyfriend) married the other girl. They started dating a few weeks after we broke up and married after college."
- littlethrowawaybaby
See now I forget about the danger aspect. Sex can lead to tons of injury and we are never fully prepared. And honesty seems to be an afterthought. How common...
Rude!
"Me (M) with couple (MF). Partway through, other M runs out of bedroom crying. F calls him a "whiny b**ch", refuses to follow him out to console him and wants to keep going. Awkward all the way around."
"Dude! There are some things you just don't talk about in public."
- Smokin_Hashrates
"Similar experience with my ex and another couple. We were game, she was game, but he ran out crying. She wanted to carry on with us. Until he started screaming in the street."
- Wookie301
"it's not what it looks like"
"Actually posted this in the "it's not what it looks like" thread but, was having a threesome with one of my buddies and a girl. For some reason she said she had to get something. When she came back, she turned on the lights, pulled all the covers off, and took a Polaroid of me and my buddy naked on the bed with condoms on, lol."
- Yournamehere7523
Three's Company Too
"Was fine during the act. Great fun but the shame the next day was too much for us all. We are still good friends now but no threesomes and it was shaky for a while. Was about five years ago. I lived with two women (the dream for a guy, I know) and we had been friends for years and years. Since high school so about 25 years now."
"Two of us were single and the other housemate split with her bf a day before so we decided that drinks and a good night with some board games would be a good idea. So the drinks were flowing and the game ultimately turned into a game of spin the bottle (cliche, I know). Clothes came off, people kissed and before we realised it I was doing it with my housemate that had just split with her bf."
"Other housemate joined in on the sofa. We moved to the bedroom. We did it for what seemed like hours and then went to sleep as the sun was coming up. Next morning we were all very hungover and a bit mortified. We went about out day but we didn't really mention it for a few days."
"Eventually we agreed it was a silly mistake and never to speak of it again. One of the housemates moved out and we were a bit distant for a year or so. All good friends again now though, two of us are married to other people."
- NewWorlds84
Why Me?
Seth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"I've been in FFM and MMF. Both times the other two were more into each other and pretty much left me all by myself. Stuff is rough, yo."
- nobodyelse_care
Three too many...
"I wouldn't say it was disastrous, but once I was in threesome with two guys, and one guy had a really big penis, the other one had a slightly smaller-than-average penis. Well, the less endowed guy ended up feeling really sad and insecure about his size and we ended up cutting the threesome short and spent the rest of the time consoling him to try and make him feel better."
ProductiveRaven
"secret signal"
"I was in a drunken MMFF. Ex boyfriend, his friend, my girl friend. The men decided to come up with a 'secret signal' when they wanted to switch partners. It was a loud, obnoxious bird call. Also, the next morning when I was sober, I noticed the other man was wearing a wedding band. Crap."
chut2906
Tough Times
"It was a foursome actually, with another couple. The other guy can't get a hard on and we were just making out while his girl and my boy were enjoying sex. Never met with them ever again."
ButterflyLarge6526
"It's tough out here sometimes. Little guy just won't get up, then you realize 'oh crap, I might not get an erection' then a huge wave of anxiety comes over you which in turn ruins every chance of getting hard."
col3man17
Meow
Michelle Pfeiffer Batman GIFGiphy"Was having sex with a chick and her husband was watching, then their cats got into a huge fight with each other and they had to go deal with them. Took like 10 minutes and by the end of it I was thoroughly unaroused and left soon after."
MeyoMix
Behind my back...
"When we were done I’d gone to sleep on the couch cause it was too hot with three people on the bed. My then-boyfriend had sex with the other girl and they tried to hide it from me. I only found out cause girl left her FB logged in (with the message with then-bf where they talked about hiding it from me) before she left. Writing this out it dawned on me that she could have left the message open on purpose."
code_momode
No Touch
"GF felt inadequate despite it all being her idea (she was interested in exploring her bi side) but once we all started touching each other I could feel her energy change. Got the silent treatment afterwards. every time I wanted to talk about it she just got angry We split a year later. I'll never do another one."
JimmyJTJ5
Bad Idea
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"They were actively doing meth during the session, and I was just drunk enough not to realize it was a bad idea going in. It eventually just kind of derailed and I left because the sex just slowly stopped."
jhxcb
"wild oats"
"I think we all thought it was going to be porny, since we were all early twenties and hormonal as hell. And for a while we were young, buzzed and excited enough to carry that along. Then it became kinda awkward because we were all trying to keep equal attention paid to each person/genital."
"Conscientiousness started to turn it more into cuddling and petting. Which is ok. It was sorta obvious that this was a one-time thing. Only ever saw each other a couple more times. No regrets, and since I trend more towards long-term relationships I think I got the 'wild oats' aspect of it out of my system."
Dangercakes13
Don't be Angry
"Not me, but my girlfriend has told me that she had sex with two guys that were best friends. She was dating one of the two and it was her ex's idea to have the threesome. It happened and afterwards when the best friend went to shower, she and her ex had sex again and while it was happening, he started strangling her. She found out later it he did it because he was angry that she was dong his best friend and enjoying it."
saarelaian
I had to free myself...
"My husband started using degrading language as in porn (I hate humiliation and degradation), and also he and our male friend left me tied up on the bed and went downstairs to play cards. I had to free myself, feeling devastated and abandoned."
SereniaKat
Life lesson... be adventurous and try it all. But be smart and emotionally prepared. Sex is fun but it's not a game, unless you agree to play some games. Then be game.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
@PokerPolitics/X
@discogorilla/Bluesky
@SenSchumer/X
@WUTangKids/X