It seems nary a day goes by nowadays that Republican Senator Ted Cruz doesn't leave us slack-jawed for one reason or another. His hairstyle choices, though, have never been among them.
Until now. There's no easy way to say this, and we are truly sorry if this is the first you're seeing it, but let's just rip the bandage off and face the awful truth.
Ted Cruz for some reason got a mullet, like on purpose, and it is pure unadulterated nightmare fuel.
Expel Ted Cruz from the Senate over this haircut. https://t.co/EP1Cz0PKif— Abraham Gutman🔥 (@Abraham Gutman🔥)1613156882.0
Please take a moment to catch your breath, say your prayers, or pick up the shattered remains of your phone after throwing it across the room in terror.
Self-care is important.
Cruz's bold new look was unveiled in news footage from the Capitol on Friday as he left the proceedings for former Republican President Donald Trump's second impeachment trial. And, unsurprisingly, it immediately went mega-viral, as most utterly horrifying things tend to do.
It was quite the capper to what was a doozy of a week even for a guy like Cruz, who always seems to be actively trying to have all the charm of a rotting fish.
Cruz spent the entire week being dunked on by Twitter for bad take after bad take, like his complaint that the politicians included in the NBA's Black History Month salute didn't include Black Republican Colin Powell--who recently announced he's no longer a Republican.
Then there was a weird tweet about breast milk. And another weird tweet dragging the iconic Princess Leia from Star Wars in order to defend actress Gina Carano, who was recently fired from The Mandalorian for comparing being a Republican to being a Jew in Nazi Germany.
Hall of Fame-level bad takes, all.
And yet, none of them had the same impact as this horrifying mullet, which all but took over Twitter as people dunked on the Senator in epic fashion.
The Ted Cruz cut: Business up front, insurrection in the back https://t.co/1iXk4QizBJ— MF DAN (@MF DAN)1613159966.0
Why does Ted Cruz have the hair and beard of a wacky relief pitcher from 1996 https://t.co/B63gcoV3cV— Richard Staff (@Richard Staff)1613157327.0
Ted Cruz hair inspo https://t.co/pKhRLnVtIq— kangaskhan (@kangaskhan)1613160596.0
SUCH A GOOD POINT I DIDN’T NOTICE I WAS SO FOCUSED https://t.co/NFeJB5XNDG— Abraham Gutman🔥 (@Abraham Gutman🔥)1613157027.0
Ted Cruz’s haircut is one clipper setting away from full mullet https://t.co/KF0aLfIOQV— Joanie Loves Fauci (@Joanie Loves Fauci)1613159091.0
Not a Ted Cruz fan, but we have to be intellectually honest and admit his current hair/beard combo looks cool https://t.co/gB7RrJC3oh— Jay Boller (@Jay Boller)1613159266.0
Ted Cruz got the Big Ben sexual assault press conference haircut https://t.co/wopaUkIDt6— baking digiorno on a pizza stone (@baking digiorno on a pizza stone)1613157179.0
Did Ted Cruz join Die Antwoord https://t.co/0cWORA6a4a— Thor Benson (@Thor Benson)1613158468.0
https://t.co/twwsk1Akj4— Sean Gentille (@Sean Gentille)1613163351.0
@TVietor08 @BenLaBolt @kabarkoff @jonfavs @jonlovett Like the rest of America, the person that cuts Ted Cruz's hair hates Ted Cruz— Dan Pfeiffer (@Dan Pfeiffer)1613163826.0
Hats off, Senator Cruz, you've really outdone yourself.