Couples Who've Been Together For 20+ Years Explain How They Keep Their Sex Life Active

With each passing year, all couples tend to worry that their relationship might change over time.

That they'll stop being as spontaneous, affectionate or energetic as they were when they first began their courtship.

If it's a hurdle all couples face, many couples have discovered tricks to keep that same, youthful energy going.

Particularly in the bedroom department.

Redditor Affectionate-Mode687 was eager to hear how couples who have been together for two decades or longer manage to keep their sex drive going, leading them to ask:

"Couples that have been together 20+ years and have a successful sex life. How do you do it?"

Comfort is Key

"Whichever way is easiest on our joints."- TunaNugget

As Long As There's Love...

"Been together just over 20 years."

"Non-sexual intimacy is incredibly important."

"If you are only affectionate when you're trying to have sex it leads to resentment and avoidance."

"Figure out what makes your partner crazy and do it."

"My partner and I feed off of each other's excitement; we genuinely love making the other person feel amazing and that's really hot."

"We joke all the time that we are each other's personal porn star because we know exactly what the other wants."

"Understand that in a long term relationship there are going to be natural highs and lows in frequency."

"When you're stressed, when you have young kids, etc the frequency is going to drop and that's fine."

"Have patience and understanding."

"Overall, respecting, loving, and just liking them for who they are is really important."

"A lot of times when I see posts about people unhappy with their sex lives, they talk about their partner in a way that makes it clear that they don't actually like them."- kazehn

Before You Say Talk Is Cheap...

"I’m very attracted to her."

"And I don’t mean just her looks, though I am wildly physically attracted to her as well."

"But it’s really all of her."

"I love talking to her."

"I love hearing her voice."

"I love hearing her laugh."

"I love the way she moves."

"I love the way she looks at me."

"Everything."

"I think she feels the same way cause she seems to like being around me too, and she definitely still likes having sex with me, haha!"

"Also, we talk a lot."

"Long, deep, philosophical conversations, as well as shallow and mundane stuff."

"From our deepest held beliefs to what we thought about the basketball game."

"Talk to each other."

"It’s more connected to your sex life than you might think."- Islanduniverse

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Feedback Leads To Improvements...

"Bro, I’ve been with her for 25 years this September, and I still have the biggest damned crush on her."

"The best part of my day every day is the quiet part in the evening when the kids are in bed, and we cuddle and watch anime together."

"We did that in high school, and we still do it now."

"As for keeping our sex life fresh, we talk and listen in bed."

"I never once considered that 'I know what she likes' and let things be on auto-play."

"I still ask for feedback and actively try to improve as a lover."- ghouldozer19

ABC...

"We both decided to."

"A. Stay in shape."

"B. Respect each other."

"C. Not stop f*cking."

"Yes that’s a decision."- Sekshual_Tyranosauce

Lucky Streak...

"Luck."

"She is lovely."

"We are healthy and care for one another."

"Married 46 years."- SeniorOutdoors

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A Little Flirting Never Hurt Anyone

"Always flirt Keep flirting with each other."

"Make time for just two of you."

"So really remember when the kids are crazy and your exhausted still have time for sex and time together."

"Remind yourself why you fell in love and what you loved and love about each other and to let the mundane crap go."- Similar-Trouble9740

Daily Reminders

"I gotta get up every morning and choose my partner every day."

"After 20 years, you still have to work for it and put the effort in can’t just let things slide."

"Plus I have a list of things on my side table, but all the things I appreciate and love about my partner, and I read it every time I feel I need to, which is quite a lot lol."- HorndogTaco003

The Pursuit Of Love

"I’d say the most important part is never stop pursuing each other."

"We do date nights a couple of times a month and a romantic weekend away for our anniversary every year."

"Our anniversary trip ends up being a lot of time in the room."

"Usually, we’ll try new things, and that’s the one time of the year I’ll wear sexy underwear and lingerie."

"It’s fun!!"- TXWifeMom

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Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

"Sport / Hobbies / TIME AWAY from each other to remind us that it's always worse to be without the other person and imagine how we wanna f*ck next time."- Spiraling-Down-Now

Chemistry Is Key

"'You have sex because the relationship is good, you won't necessarily have a good relationship because you have sex'."

"My wife and I have plenty of shared interests so we spend a lot of time doing things together and that obviously increases the chances of one thing leading to another."- rayjaymor85

Who Doesn't Love A Puzzle...

"The only difference I can tell between other couples and my wife and I is that we’re willing to figure it out with each other."

"Whatever happens, whoever is hurt, we figure it out."

"We don’t blame or accuse, we solve together."- Oxynod

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Love Is All You Need

"I love her. I'm still infatuated with her."

"We are each other's best friend and partner."

"It's easy after that."

"I work with a lot of men that just complain about their wives a lot, and I always think I'm odd because I actually do really like my wife."- rollingthrulife79

In Case You Haven't Noticed, It's About Love!

"30 plus years."

"Bare with me, I know this sounds crazy, but we love each other and sex/intimacy is the physical expression of that love."

"It's really pretty easy."- pricethatwaspromised

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Aging changes us; there is simply no avoiding that.

However, as the saying goes, "change is good."

And as long as you keep discovering new things to love about your partner, the continued journey of your relationship is bound to remain romantic and happy.

And full of great sex.