People Break Down Whether A Potential Partner's Politics Are A Dealbreaker

Who Cares?

" Politics? Don't really care. The way I see it is that fundamentally your partner needs to be your friend."

"I don't care what any of my friend's political beliefs are and I've gone years without even knowing the political beliefs of friends. I have friends who's political beliefs I strongly disagree with and I'm still friends with them."

"I don't care, because at the end of the day my friendships don't revolve around political action."

"Many might say I'm very privileged to be in a position where I can not care about my friends political beliefs, because it means generally speaking I believe there's unlikely to be political change that really affects me."

"I don't believe that, but maybe it's true. Maybe I am privileged in that regard."

"But y'know, that's a privilege I'll gratefully live with, because it means I can have more friends."

~ AtlasClone

"If my partner were any kind of extremist who hated other people based on the political infotainment they consume, that’s a deal breaker."

"If they’re the sort of person who refuses to be friends with or interact with people 'on the other team' that’s a dealbreaker."

"Politics just isn’t all that important to me."

"There’s nothing I can do to influence it and nothing anybody else can really do, so why waste my life making it my 'big interest'?"

"And there’s no chance in hell I could survive being married to somebody who makes politics the most important thing in their life."

~ Jawahhh

Not A Dealbreaker, But...

"You don't have to agree on every single issue, but you have to share a similar worldview and set of values."

"I assume there are couples who can be together regardless, but I can't imagine my significant other would see the world in a completely different light than me."

~ Reddit

"Yeah, exactly. Politics would be like any other issue."

"If a woman in a relationship wanted four kids and the husband wanted two, you could work through that. Or land at a compromise. Or, hell, one or both changes their mind after the first kid or two. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent other than being a parent."

"Now, say the woman was dead set against ever having kids and the guy wanted as many kids as he could produce. Just two people with completely different worldviews."

~ 2020IsANightmare

"I think they don't have to be the SAME, but they can't be polar opposites."

~ murmeltearding

"It’s gotta be the same ballpark."

"If I’m center you gotta be center or moderate left/right. If I’m hard left you gotta be at least left of center."

"Hard left + hard right just ain’t it."

~ ClilloryHinton

"They can have a different idea than me on how to fix poverty (just an example) but they have to believe poverty is a problem."

"I need someone who lives in the same reality as me."

~ jackfaire

"Perfect way to describe it. My husband and I disagree about like, whether UBI is a good way to end poverty, but not whether ending poverty is a good goal."

~ coffeeclichehere

"Political views are based on core values and, in a relationship, are an element of what I qualify as 'compatibility'."

"So no, I can't be in a long term relationship with anyone who has drastically different viewpoints."

"Some small differences around the same edge are absolutely OK and, in a mature relationship, make for enriching conversations. But fundamentally different political views—no way."

~ SamaireB

"I can be in a relationship with someone with fundamentally different political views, but those views have to be rooted in reality and there are some dealbreakers."

"Like you believe in small government...OK, I'll argue but that's fine."

"You believe we should take children from immigrants as a disincentive to immigrate here? Yeah that's going to be a dealbreaker."

~ off_and_on_again

"We disagree on some details, especially because of our professions—I’m a nurse and he is a manager in manufacturing. But hearing each others’ viewpoints is helpful in staying balanced regarding the things we do disagree on."

"When it comes to human rights, though, we are completely on the same page."

"And I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt differently than me in that area. We have children, and it’s important to me that we are aligned with how we raise them."

~ Less_Tea2063

"I might support decriminalization of all drugs and creation of safe consumption sites."

"My partner might think that’s a little too far but believes the War on Drugs is poorly handled and more resources should be put toward treatment."

"That would be a-okay with me! We don’t need to be in lockstep, but clearly we’re both empathetic to addicts and think rehabilitation over punishment should be priority."

"If my partner thinks all addicts are lazy bums and they belong in jail or dead, well—we’re not going to be together long."

~ Rastiln

It's A Dealbreaker—Now

"I have a close family member who is married to someone with opposing political views, and frankly, I think it hurts their marriage."

"Obviously it's not their only issue, but it plays a role."

"Personally, I could never do it."

"Like other people have already said, it speaks to a person's core values."

~ padall

"Back before politics became batsh*t, maybe that wouldn't be as much of a problem."

"Now there is not a lot of common ground unless you're on the same side."

~ WouldYouPleaseKindly

"A Carter era Democrat and a Reagan era Republican could have at least some common ground."

"But that ship sailed thanks to Australian media tycoons and AM radio fear mongers."

~ Grabthars_Coping_Saw

"I have a friend whose husband came out strong for a certain presidential candidate simply because he rumored to be a great businessman. He refused to listen to any negative info like, say, how racist or sexist the guy was, because 'he’ll be great for the economy!'."

"My friend makes a point of carefully studying issues and candidates and she was certain there were dealbreakers about this presidential candidate for her husband if he would only take the time to learn. But he refused."

"He normally likes a good discussion so it was weird. She ended up on antidepressants because it really changed how she saw her spouse."

"January 6 opened his eyes a bit, but he still seems to be leaning a lot more to the right than she ever expected. And this suggests their values are moving father apart."

"It’s definitely taking a toll on their marriage."

"Believe me, she’s thinking hard. It’s tough because they’ve been together almost 40 years and it’s like suddenly she’s on Planet B."

~ JohnExcrement

"I have lost a lot of respect for people who, though seemly intelligent and thoughtful, supported the crazies in a certain political party."

"They are doing real damage to our society."

"Why would I want to date one?"

~ Zoneoftotal

"There is a certain political individual that if I found out my partner supported him, I honestly would feel the need for a breakup."

"Our core values would be so far apart that a relationship would be impossible."

"Most other politicians would cause me to groan or roll my eyes."

"This man served as a filter on dating apps. Anyone who liked this guy was an immediate skip."

~ TylerJWhit

It's Always Been A Dealbreaker

"It is extremely important. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t share my values."

"For example, when Covid hit, my spouse and I were 100% on the same page about how we would handle our safety, masks, vaccines etc... even though we had never discussed what we’d do in a global pandemic."

"But we agreed because we shared values."

"I watched many of my friends’ marriages struggle because the pandemic revealed their ideological differences."

"Politics are not theoretical. They affect your life in ways you can never anticipate."

~ Electrical-Spot863

"Some people seem to treat politics like sports, like it's separate from reality and doesn't really matter which 'team' you support."

"Getting along with someone despite supporting opposing sports teams, or having different tastes in music or movies, or whatever—that makes sense."

"The winner of an election, though, can have immense impact on what happens in the 'real world' when compared to who wins the Super Bowl / World Cup / Other Notable Sports Event."

~ DragoonDM

Only a handful of Redditors said politics was a non-issue.

But they also said they'd refuse to date anyone who thought politics were important in relationships or even friendships.

But the overwhelming majority felt political differences in the current climate would make a relationship a no-go.

What do you think?