The Most Self-Centered People Folks Have Ever Known

Some people just get past themselves. Observe, exhibit A, B & C.

Odd Punishment

"An acquaintance of the family. She had a birth defect in her legs that made walking somewhat difficult. Not impossible at all. Just not something she could do a lot of."

"She had the ability to walk and climb stairs. I've seen her do both. She was awkward at it, but she could do it."

"I mention this because, apparently, at a niece's graduation she decided that her niece needed to help her to her seat. As in the niece was supposed to leave the ceremony part way through, come down off the stage in her robes, and escort this woman to her seat before going back."

"Well, as you might imagine, the school didn't seem willing to accommodate this. So other family members offered to help her. But, as it wasn't the attention grabbing stunt she wanted, she decided that the best way to punish her family was to seat herself. By flopping down in the floor and moaning and groaning as she crawled on all fours. As I understand it, her family was running along beside her and trying to help her up but she ignored them. Just did a belly crawl up the stairs and made a big show of it."

– semiloki

Neglectful Dad

"The husband of a friend of my told her he didn't really care for interacting with their two twin boys, and would just wait for them to grow older and would be able to talk about his pretty specific interests."

"They're no longer together."

– Smellmyupperlip

Playing The Victim

"I was briefly friends with a woman who could do no wrong. She was the victim 24/7 and everyone was out to get her. She saw other people as means to an end and would say whatever she wanted about them, accuse them of horrible sh*t, 'repeat' things they supposedly said about you to your face (she made it up or heavily exaggerated every time), and just in general use people."

"She told me within the first two weeks of us knowing each other that she was telling everyone we were best friends. When she moved away, she forgot I existed."

– an_ineffable_plan

Some people like to piggy back off of high-profile family members.

Famous By Association

"Local celebrities are pretty bad. Their spouses and families are even worse. The only time I’ve heard 'Do you know who I am?' in the wild was when the wife of the local weatherman was arguing with a clerk at the grocery store."

– Old_Army90

Papa Mayor

"When I was in high school (20+ years ago), I was on my school's speech and debate team. I frequently had to compete against the daughter of our city's mayor. We went to different schools but competed in the same event, so I frequently had rounds with her."

"I swear, every conversation with her was 'My daddy, the mayor, said that...', 'My daddy, the mayor, is going to...', 'My daddy, the mayor, believes...'"

"She could not mention her father without mentioning that he was the mayor."

"One day, I was tired of her bullsh*t. While we waited for the judge to arrive and our round to start, she started in with 'My daddy, the mayor,...' again."

"'Who is your dad?,' I asked."

"'Ummm...he's the mayor,' she said."

"What's his name?"

"[NAME]. You know, the MAYOR!"

"Huh...never heard of him. He must not be that famous."

"I'd thought her head was going to explode. Good times."

– Faustus_Fan

Scandalous

"Went to high school with the mayor’s daughter too. She acted similarly. My dad this and my dad that. Our senior year it came out that both of her parents abused public office and committed fraud. Last I remember her mom had to serve her sentence out in weekends and her dad went to jail for a bit too. She was pretty quiet after that."

– mascarrowette

No Match For The Waiter

"I heard a 'Do you know who I am?' from a middling local DJ a while back. Without missing a beat, the tired af waiter responded something like 'You're an NPC in my story.' While Mr. High Horse blue-screened hard at that response, the waiter simply turned away and walked over to take a different table's order."

– TravisVZ

Some people are just so desperate for validation.

An Ex-Wife's List Of Claims

"My ex-wife. I could write a damn novel about her. Some highlights:"

"Dropping out of college repeatedly. Then claiming to be educated in psychology because she watches YouTube. Her major was geology."

"Thinking businesses should be proud to serve her."

"Claiming to be a filmmaker. She made a costume for 1 very bad horror movie. But she was an industry insider because she once dated a director."

"Claims she 'saved' Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar."

"Throwing a tantrum at any wedding/graduation/ birthday. Including her own. Side note. Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her."

"This is getting long but one more. Her favorite saying. 'Put me in charge of the world, I'll fix some sh*t.' Don't you dare ask her to elaborate."

"ETA: it's been 13 hours since I posted this and I'm blown away by the support and validation. Thank you, kind reddit strangers. Y'all are awesome."

"So, the story of Ryan Seacrest. This supposedly happened before I met her. So this is a retelling of a retelling. It was decades ago when he was hosting American Idol. She ran into him in a bar in Hollywood and proceeded to tear him apart for his style (her words). Saying he needs to grow up and act his age. Evidently, he got pissed and avoided her. Then, 6-12 months later, he's hosting E entertainment wearing a 'respectable' suit. She takes credit for shaming him into 'growing up' and dressing appropriately for his age. Never mind that he landed a new gig that required a different image. In her mind, she influenced his image that landed him his contract. So she saved his career because a moderately attractive blond shamed him into changing. I wish I was making this up."

– AgingLeatherneck

Upstaging The Bride And Groom

"My MIL and SIL who cried and HOWLED during our wedding ceremony acting like it was a funeral."

– Angry_Custurd

Exploiting A Photo Opp Moment

"About a year ago. Trying to board a flight and a couple held us up so that Main Character could get a series of photos in a series of poses standing at the top of the boarding stairs like some 1960s JetSet starlet in St Tropez."

"This was not First Class transcontinental glamour flight, this was a 4 hour Budget Ryanair flight from the Canaries to the UK."

"After being forced into the plane by the cabin staff who kept standing in the shot trying to get the plane boarded (Ryanair do not mess around with their fast turnaround) and also by angry people trying to squeeze past boyfriend/cameraman and getting in the shot. She then proceeded to stand in the aisle during taxi for take off just after the safety brief to get more photos. After threats of returning to the terminal and being put off the flight she sat down."

"Nothing says a classy instagram model like the Ryanair colour scheme."

– Magnus_40

Look, we all have our insecurities.

It's one thing to behave in a way that will disguise our vulnerabilities to make us appear confident.

But it's another thing to act out in spite of them and make ourselves look like self-serving misanthropes.